Pictorial of the Year 2021

 

New years day 2021

As usual I'm posting pictures of the year and hope you enjoy them in lieu of sending cards instead I'm sending well wishes for 2022 and a great deal of love.

Christmas 2021 with grands

The Grouts live near 

Here's the photos that stand out for 2021. As you can see, not a lot has happened.  New Year's Day I'll be home on the couch with a cup of tea. This won't change as I'm unsure we can make it out of our driveway. See below.

Overall the year was like another year of plague and for that very reason I re read A Year of Wonder by Geraldine Brooks written about the plague of the 17th century. This was an excellent reminder of how very fortunate we are to have the vaccines [and boosters] to protect us from the worst of the ravages of COVID. 

We had a small window of opportunity to see the entire Grout clan in early August and I am beyond grateful for that. 

Outside yesterday

summer at a pond

the best of being together is eating and talking

 Volunteering at the library, I especially enjoyed playing guitar for the preschoolers. My speed. 

Fairgrounds guitar and reading for preschoolers

Dick and I continue to be active in political campaigns

Lots of hiking in 2021--- on island

                                                        

Bliss of being at an outdoor restaurant 

                                                
                   
       

A wonderful committee that successfully got a levy passed

               

the thrill of getting a jab for our health

This last picture was taken prior to our weekly guitar zoom which revved my guitar playing and song writing. 
STAY HEALTHY!

susansmagicfeather 2021 Susan R. Grout 

Eating

a teen enjoy his food 

 Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing.                     James Thurber

I've witnessed babies throw themselves on the floor wailing and crying after being given a taste of asparagus and then proceed to pick a piece of dirty lint off the floor and pop it, delighted, into their mouth.  Susan Grout

Artichokes: These are things are just plain annoying...after all the trouble you go to you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking thirty or forty postage stamps.                  Miss Piggy as told to Henry Beard 

Mom at 83

Don't get between Jane and her food or you'll get a fork in the back.                  a brother in law

 My mother was a most notorious championship eater. She had an enormous appetite and six darling children. At the Sunday dinners, that our Mom laboriously prepared, she would inevitably with great enthusiasm clean her plate. Then she'd motion to my siblings, especially the picky eaters, to "pass your plate"  to her and Mom'd finish off their leftovers. Granted Mom grew up during the Depression when getting an orange in her stocking for Christmas was a deep thrill. Also during the Depression many Americans were victims of scarcity and often hungry.  Look at the pictures of the American people in the 1920's through the 1950's and try to find anyone who was overweight. Why aren't there many? Several factors, people walked everywhere, they cherished a good meal and they had no experience with fast foods or convenience foods. That craze started after the war in the late 1950's. We've paid for it in pounds, higher blood pressure and diabetes.

Me about to attack the cake

Bread that must be sliced with an ax is bread that is too nourishing.                Fran Lebowitz 

I started thinking about food and eating when I overheard my son say, to someone at Thanksgiving,  "She doesn't eat that much." Meaning me, I was surprised. I'm not the gourmand my mother was but I eat plenty, just more cautiously than my mother. I'm also a selective eater. I survived the Carob fad, the bread made to taste like a brick fad and the no butter anywhere fad in the 70's and declared that I would never eat anything that was supposedly healthy but tasted dreadful.  However I'm sometimes rather oblivious. 

Recently, at a very nice restaurant I unwittingly chomped down on a bit of metal that was in the salsa. I cracked my molar and endured lots of pain. The results involved several visits to the dentist and a very long drawn out procedure that ended in a root canal. Ugh x 2. So for a couple of months I was so cautious trying to avoid more pain. I needed to be super careful about what I ate and how I ate. The interesting part is I've became a slow, careful eater.  Naturally I did lose weight [which was unintentional] but the temporary debilitation also showed me how to value being able to eat with abandon. Not sure if I'll ever go back to bolting my food. I realized that I really don't like the feeling of being stuffed like the turkey. 

The ironic part in my gourmand mother's story is she was never overweight in her life.  The guesses I have about why she wasn't hefty is probably her genetics and also the culture of the day was not about overeating all the time. In her early days prior to marriage, getting food required some effort, some luck and some preparation. Overeating just wasn't normalized as much as it is today. There was no directions about what a portion of food was at that time and certainly none of the foods were highly processed--- there was no such thing as a Big Gulp. About portion control, for example, when I was a child in our school lunch box was--- a sandwich, period. Great days for me at school involved perhaps a cookie, only one, in the lunchbox. Once in awhile we had the privilege eating from cafeteria at school which the adored Myrtle the school chef made. I dearly loved her Spaghetti with brown gravy.   I was a most fortunate child in that I never remember going hungry for long. One of the reasons, peculiar to our family, was my parents owned and worked in our family restaurant. We always had fabulous food from the restaurant when Dad would remember bring it home. When I was working at the restaurant I remember snacking but never sitting down for an entire meal.  I suppose looking at food and serving it all day long actually acted as a deterrent to overeating for me and most probably for my parents as well. This would absolutely not be true if I worked in a bakery.

The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it.                                                                                                  Andy Rooney

What's  also happened in the last decade is people are discovering they have sensitivities to various foods. These are not true life threatening allergies like the few who unfortunately suffer from extreme reactions to peanuts or truly have Celiac disease. I've about given up asking if people have food sensitivities, figuring they can bring extra food that they can eat rather than me scrambling to cook yet another dish that might not even get touched. How many rice crackers have I tossed into the compost that have gone stale from neglect? Too many to count.  And worse in my estimation: the enormous waste of food in our country. I'm lucky to have a vigorous compost pile and grateful for every last worm. This, sadly, is the exception rather than the rule, in our country the waste is 125-160 billion pounds of food a year. Prior to food going bad in the refridge a good strategy is to not over buy. Don't people know about food banks? We all need to shop more judiciously. 

Ah but compost is such a glorious answer to much of the waste. Another answer could be to estimate how many dollars you're throwing away in food and penalize yourself. Then donate that amount of money at the end of the year to Feeding America or Feed the Children, or your local food bank.  Win/win is my favorite.

susansmagicfeather  2021 Susan R. Grout 

Uncool

Writing about art is like dancing about architecture.  Anon

Me and Kathleen

I'm increasingly amused by the vogues of the day, the trends as in "trending", that we are supposed to pay close attention to or... what? I don't know.  I suppose the curse is that we will be labeled "uncool" by someone. Horrors! In the picture on the left you see two women [one is me] who are riotously unfashionable though having a perfectly marvelous time on a paddle wheel boat in New Orleans several years ago. Both of us shop for comfort and more times than not, in thrift stores. When I saw this picture it made me smile because we are so oblivious to what the fashion was at this time in our lives.  I've been thinking about uncool a lot lately. 

One of my newfound delights is volunteering at the library. The task I was given is to make sure that the books, DVDs and graphic novels are absolutely in Dewey Decimal System and alphabetical order.  I now have the joy of discovering parts of the library that I've neglected for many years . The last group of books I organized was the Oversize Books.  How incredible to find art books with glorious illustrations from famous artists from many different eras. I just returned a wonderful Thomas Moran book and reveled in the glorious [although mostly fantasized] scenes he had of the northwest and the west.  

Life is very nice, but it lacks form.  It's the aim of art to give it some.              Jean Anouihl

Next, out of curiosity, I brought a large book of Norman Rockwell's many illustrations home with me.  I knew  as a young woman I was amused by many of his illustrations and admired his handicraft. Sadly, I never knew the depth and breath of his work. When I was growing up his work was belittled by critics as sentimental tripe, very uncool, which I supposed influenced my understanding of Rockwell's work. Then I read about Norman Rockwell's work and viewed the decades and the depth of his art--- I found myself bewildered. This man was an excellent artist and superb craftsman of the highest degree. Yet he was scoffed as uncool and second rate. Why? Because the "trending" art at that time was all about the expressionist, the avaunt guard and modern art that was so popular at in the 1920's through the 1980's when he was producing his amazing and interesting art. Basically Norman Rockwell was declared uncool by the powers of the press and critics. Yet the people who were not critics, loved and appreciated him. Very few of the critics could or would see the artistry and beauty of his work. The picture above of Rockwell's 'Do Unto Others' has deep relevance and meaning today although it was painted in 1960.

more on uncool outfits

Although I chuckled at Norman Rockwell's portraits of the salt of the earth types, I also realized the skill it took to make you look at the image before you and immediately be in on the joke with the artist.  That brought a smile and joy to millions through out his career. It seems to me that it the essence of cool. Joy and laughter.

It's strikes me as interesting that Rockwell's art is every bit as well executed as Andrew Wyeth's art.  I realize this is a shocking and strange comparison. In 2017 had the privilege of seeing Wyeth's work at the Seattle Art Museum. When looking at the two artists, the contrast is acute. Rockwell's art is rich with incredible detail, often funny, whereas Wyeth's art is dramatic, well executed and achingly spare. So, I asked myself, does being amusing distract from the quality of the art? I'm thinking to me, somehow it must. Because the overall question: would I like a picture on my wall of an Andrew Wyeth or a Norman Rockwell to look at forever?  I'd  honestly have to go with the Wyeth. Does that make me a traitor to my own argument?  Worse things have happen to my thoughts.

man in a boat

Wyeth is cool, literally and the art world was, as it certainly should've been, wowed by his impeccable technique and craftsmanship. Rockwell is frankly corny but his craftsmanship and technique are also impeccable, brilliant even. Is this a case of apples and oranges or Caravaggio and Bosch? I'm kind of baffled as to the answer, if there's even a correct one. As my Grandmother used to say, "to each his own, said the old lady as she kissed the cow."

susansmagicfeather 2021 Susan R. Grout 

  

Flunking Retirement

 

Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples.  George Burns

 Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.                                                                    Anthony Powell

It was new for me to retire, I was only a couple of months away from my sixty seventh birthday and I loved my job as psychotherapist and especially the people who were my clients. But I also knew that I needed more in my life. More stimulation, more challenges and new adventures. One part of me was definitely hesitant to retire because I was reminding myself of several older gentlemen that I'd worked with over the years. These very energetic men were bored out of their skulls in retirement. Being a woman of action, I gave them tasks to do and to my delight and surprise, they did each one. I gave them homework assignments and they turned up at my door with the results. Here is a partial list.

1.  I encouraged them: to do volunteer work with whatever interested them, 
2.  to take up or re do a hobby,
3.  to learn a sport or a game they'd never tried before,
4.  to travel to places new to them,
5. to start or join a book club,
6. to read all those books that you've saved,
7. to find a hiking buddy--- preferably one who'll discuss those books,
8. to take University classes.

All of these men tried on many different hats and the numerous things I suggested and came up with interesting takes on their own. The tests, if you will, lasted about six months and then--- guess it's not a surprise--- many of these men [interestingly very few women] flunked retirement. Also, no surprise  many eventually went back to their jobs or took a job they found that they loved.  Retirement is not for everyone. I jokingly said they were allowed to flunk retirement. 

Also reminiscing I realized that many times in my life I've had the opportunity to retire. Before I had small children I stopped working while pregnant. I pictured that I'd take leisurely long baths, I'd write a novel, I'd go for long walks and I'd make endlessly delicious meals. Then once the babies were born I found it laughable that I even contemplated all the leisure I'd have. Full time and plus was my experience, as is true for most new parents. But the years rolled on and when my littlest one went to kindergarten and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what mothers did with themselves all day long until the children returned from school. I'm sorry to say I found being a stay at home mother boring. So I went to work. My first job was volunteering for our local co operative preschool and I did enjoy that but it wasn't paid position and I decided I needed more plus a salary. 

The job I got was working for the newly formed Drug and Alcohol center as a junior counselor. I'd been a psych major and that suited my new boss just fine as qualification for the job. Totally inexperienced for dealing as a counselor, I optimistically pictured myself learning right along with my clients.  Little did I know the office was set up to take care of the burgeoning case load in our local district court system. Truly it was a revolving door: in came the court ordered people with their list of problems from drugs or drinking and out they went most often to re-offend and end up with  our office again. There were successes and that was gratifying but most of the court referred clients really did not want to be there.  I stuck with this crazy system for nine years. Along the way I became familiar with AA and Al anon, many, many workshops and I successfully completed credits for a masters degree in psychology. 

Since I had nine years of practice and the new six months of the masters degree under my belt, my mentor and co worker showed me that I could be making approximately twice the money if I started my own counseling practice. I did and I never looked back. Instead of a revolving door, I had a rich, full opportunity each day to work with people who had a vast array of issues that were related to many different areas of their lives. I rarely worked with the courts.  It was rewarding to watch as people desired and wanted change and to get healthier and many times became happier.

I loved my work and found that most days were exhilarating rather than exhausting. I was in this lovely profession for almost thirty years. Then as I was nearing my retirement age I decided to finally take the social security and run. Except I didn't. I stayed on a couple of years more. Then a series of events: my husband retired and seemed to thrive in his new freedom, then my beloved Mom died and finally I had to put down a dear faithful cat. 

I knew after awhile that needed more in my life. More stimulation, more challenges and I needed to let go of being in charge of another person's welfare. This is hardly a fair statement, I really was just the mountain guide. The client would have to climb that mountain to wellness, with some safety tips. 

My sisters announced they were going to attend a guitar workshop that summer and I wanted to join them. So then retirement became a relief and a joy. Interestingly, re read all of those tips and encouragements I gave above for the older gentlemen. Now, it revealed itself to be my list, the list I still adhere to for a rewarding and full retirement. In addition to that list I have a delightful Zoom each week with six other musicians, [two of whom are the sisters], and we write a song and tell stories from our life or experiences on various interesting topics. Also I work for the Democrats locally and have been involved in getting many elected. That work is hard, laborious but ultimately satisfying labor. The latest volunteering has absolutely been the most fun---working for our library in their children's reading program. I play the guitar and sing songs. My fan base in nine months to five years. Bliss. 

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.               Steven Wright 

Being of an independent mind I never dreamed of going back to an office but I will never give up the skills I learned from the more than thirty years as a psychotherapist. I love sharing the tips that have helped many people. It was my great privilege to work with all kinds of people, all ages and all nationalities. Though I loved my work I'd grown weary and wanted to travel, to reintroduce myself to writing and my music, and to be with my grandchildren before they became completely disinterested in me. Now I have that freedom and am attempting to make the most of it. 

susansmagicfeather 2021 Susan R. Grout rights reserved.

BLESSED ARE

                                                                                                                                                           

Blessed are the all the teachers for they are most needed and give love and knowledge for they shall receive admiration and gratitude. 

Blessed are the migrants for they teach us about hope, striving and diligence and they shall received a place.

Blessed are the homeless for they show us that all is not equal and they shall find shelter. 

Blessed are the single mothers for they demonstrate bravery in their actions and they shall be given understanding and caring by all who witness them.

Blessed are the healthcare workers who toil relentlessly for our welfare for they will be acknowledged and glorified by all those they touch.

Blessed are the grieving who feel so alone in their sorrow for they shall be comforted by all who know them.

Blessed are the grocery store workers for they have kept us fed and sane in our hours of need and they shall be thanked and praised.

Blessed are the musicians for they have allowed us to feel moments of rapture despite hard times and they shall fulfill us and themselves as well. 

Blessed are the writers who write all alone and pour out their wisdom in the quest to improves our lives for they shall be ordained prophets and reap accolades.

Blessed are the ones who keep our electricity running, our street lights shining, our roads smooth, our bridges safe and our water clean for they shall be rewarded by the fruits of their labors.

Blessed are those politicians  and peace officers who work for the greater good, who are selfless in their task to keep our country free from tyrants, bullies, cons, and grifters for they shall be repaid in the belief that future generations are safe.

Blessed are the families that are raising responsible children to become good citizens of our earth, to help to enrich this poor earth with goodness and intelligence for they shall inherit a future that they can then make better for all.

Blessed are the people who are different, who don't fit into a comfortable category in humanity's lexicon for they shall find their niche and teach us how to look and think differently.

Blessed are those who we take for granted who do little tasks that make our lives easier with little or no acknowledgement for they must be acknowledged and seen. 

Amen 

susansmagicfeather  2021 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved. 

Awards Announced for Saving the Country

 

 I've harped and hoped that the people that govern this country would come to there senses and restructure the tax system so that the billionaires would pay for their ridiculous profits with in kind services. I even wrote a post about my fantasies that things would actually turn out better after the pandemic.  This country has a deep and serious infrastructure problem that has only gotten worse after the last four years of ineptitude. Bridges are failing, roads are crumbling, and some buildings are well beyond their sell date. Also, stunningly many people are hungry and the schools need help. All this seems impossible to fix, no? It's not! Here are the handy dandy new tasks cheerfully assigned to the billionaires that I have read about who pay a very depressing near $0% of their income and profits for our country's well being.

pigs are more caring than...

Hello and welcome to the awards for saving our infrastructure and country.

1. Mr. Fly Me To the Moon Bezos: I assign the task of tackling an effective recycling program in this country. Lord knows, you have contributed, times a million, to the un-recyclable debris left in our garbage and land fills. As any good mother knows, "clean up after yourself, Jeff." Don't worry Jeffy, you will still have massive amounts of money and change left over from this endeavor to fly high.

2. Mr. Elon Musk: you are being given the honor of repairing all the roads in this country. You supposedly care about cars and here is your chance to prove it, and perhaps the safety of the people riding in those cars. It's part of the plan to keep the U.S. save without leaving the atmosphere.

3. Mr. Warren Buffett: as your name implies, you will undertake the job of actually feeding all of those in need. How, you might ask, can there be any hunger in America? You as one of the wealthiest men a must acknowledging we are one of the richest countries in the world. Perhaps you haven't grasped the full concept of sharing? Very simply put many people don't have jobs. Many of those jobs eliminated, the jobs were put on a plane or boat to other parts of the world for expressed purpose of the CEO's profits at the expense of the workers. You included. So feed the hungry, it will cost you a fraction of your wealth.

4. Mark Zuckerberg: oh you of the Facebook fame who constantly decries, no flies on me, you have the job of making sure all of the children in the U.S. have excellent educations. This will include courses on how to figure out if someone is hustling you. Facebook has been a champ of allowing falsehoods and spreading hate and you must turn this around. Easy peasy!  Information that is honest and true and doesn't hurt people.  You helped usher in the last administration and needless to say, but I will, it is now time to repent for your sins. Onward for fairness in education, truth and justice Mr. Zuckerberg.

5. To all the Waltons including Alice, Jim and Rob Walton: since the inception of Walmart you have ridiculously underpaid your workers and actually insisted that they get on welfare and food stamps. Wow, just look at all the money you saved for yourselves. I propose that you pay back wages in triplicate to all the former and current employees. Next it is essential that you pay back the basically hijacked monies to the U.S. government. This will  enriching our food banks and social security for the nation. No impoverished person left behind, I'm sure you'll agree.

6. The Koch Family: Remember your wealth started with your father and has been used to despoil this country. Not nice. You basically bought politicians with your wealth and basically started the Tea Party. Then you gave billions to the Trump election of course for more favors. Therefore your assignment is to devote the rest of your lives to cleaning up the environment, air, water and pollution which the last administration tried very hard to denigrate. We all can agree on clean air, water and healthy people for the USA, right?

Beware thinking you're immortal

Maureen Dowd's column in the New York Times "Fat Cats on A Hot Tin Roof" got me thinking about this very issue. The billionaires pay no taxes and try to convince all of us that they are good citizens. What roll of baloney is that? They're greedy and insensitive to the plight of ordinary, tax paying citizens. 

On a final note, you'll see that I didn't mention Bill Gates. This because, although I'm sure he also doesn't pay his fair share of taxes, he and Melinda have tried with their wealth to save humanity. They do contribute richly to the health and welfare of the world.

 

We are all going to die dear Billionaires. Wouldn't you like to err on the side of goodness and generosity with your vast wealth? You Can't Take It With You! Money can't buy you love! but it can purchase good will and admiration. I believe it's called a legacy. Just Do It.

Love, Susan R. Grout     administrator and cheerleader for the people and the country.  

susansmagicfeather 2021 Susan R. Grout

Is It Possible to Reduce Violence?

Lights on, curtains down, the ringmaster's leaving town.                                    All his bullies patrol the grounds, plotting revenge even now.                                                                             Susan Grout 2021

Is this what happens in the U.S. of A.? We read the statistics that more than 20,000 are dead by guns this year, and almost half of that statistic by suicide. But how do we stop this preventable carnage? Have we become immune to the people that are dead or the ones wounded behind these numbers? Can we agree to stop this neglect now?

You turned your back then you turn the page,                           planting a hole in our soul.                                                          SRG 

 There is no question that we have a repetitive problem in our country and the world with violence toward our fellow humans. The amount of damage is grossly underestimated because every act of violence impacts so many people, not just the ones being attacked.

Why is it I keep writing about the subject of violence, most often--- domestic violence, over and over again? The answer: I'm very lucky in my life to never have suffered at the hands of anyone who took care of me or was close to me. When I became a psychotherapist in my twenties I was shocked at the stories I was hearing from my clients. I thought, 'really it couldn't have been that bad. Could it?' The dawn of awareness kept on coming, client after client with stories from their relationships or childhoods that were living within their skins and brains. This led me to help start 'Volunteers Against Violence' in our small community. I went to workshops and needed to learn everything I could about this very under reported, very misunderstood reality. 

In order to start a group to protect the victims of abuse and violence we needed to verify and find out how extensive the problem was. Two women friends and I went to the various Sheriff departments in our area to ask this question "How common is domestic abuse and violence in our county" and they all basically said, "oh it's not that bad around here. We usually just break up the fights". Of course this meant leaving the scene, no protection for the families no consequences for the abuser. This, to me, was horrifying---abandoning the women and children, the Sheriff believing that the families would "just figure it out." No help.  

Today, strengthened by our community with a department and salaries for the workers, the group is going strong. Fortunately our community now has the renamed 'Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services'. Also fortunately there are many other similar organizations though out many communities in the nation. The awareness has been raised because of a lot of hard work by many caring women and men.  We desperately need this intelligence to expand into the fabric of law enforcement. It's time to recommend the emphasis in the law enforcers needs to be on the abusers not on ignoring the families.  I keep reading about women who are being abused calling for help because they are afraid of the abuser. Worse many of these abusers have guns, guns and more guns. And sadly many times these calls are minimized or ignored altogether. 

Stunning crowds grew high on rage,                                                                       he left with a tarnished crown,                                                                               the circus is leaving town.          SRG

Even though de-funding the police has been unhelpfully touted as the best solution, reexamination on the tactics and methods used by the policed not only makes sense but is an obvious necessity.  This could start with less aggression used by the cops in making arrests. I'm curious, why not aim for a person's foot instead of their chests? Isn't that what sharp shooting is all about? Taser before bullets. Anyone have a good idea about that? How about using the very excellent social workers we have in this country to assist every police force? Then, how about paying those workers good salaries, as much as the police are given. 

I must give credit: we, as a country are making progress for women and on women's rights. Women are more protected and believed than when I started working on this problem of domestic violence in the '80's. The latest efforts are in the 'Me too' movement which is of course, years overdue. But it is progress. That's one reason why it feels demoralizing when the minimization starts up yet again about domestic violence.Example, is the January 6th,  sedition, which is of course was domestic violence encouraged and unleashed by #45 and his minions.

Why are people so afraid of giving our dear children lessons in kindness, compassion and love in the schools? In Denmark there is a program for children in compassion and caring. Why can't we have that instead of fighting about school prayer which conflicts with separation of Church and state.Why are some of the politicians afraid to stand up for the truth like teaching about inequality and racism and actual history that has been covered up for ages? Why are so many politicians and right wing newscasters in a rush to minimize the destructiveness of allowing citizens to carry combat weapons legally? Truly this makes no sense if we are attempting to minimize terrorism and violence. 

. 

Bring on the sun and the golden moon,                      return us to sanity from the gloom.                             Walk out proudly, feel the glee                             embracing peace for all to see,                                 embracing peace for the world to see.                               Susan R. Grout 2021

Isn't this what every human being wants, to be safe from violence, to be treated with respect, dignity and might I add, kindness? It seems to me if we were all following the wisdom of the many great thinkers of history we would all be actively promoting compassion, generosity, fairness, truth and love. 

susansmagicfeather 2021 Susan R. Grout 

Soggy Experiences With Great Female Authors and More

Last month I wrote about bathing with all male authors:

https://susansmagicfeather.blogspot.com/2021/03/bathing-with-john-odonohue-and-michael.html

so now with the strength of equality in mind,  I offer this post of bathing with great female authors.

I'd like to welcome Mary Oliver, Nancy Hathaway, Jane Austen, Isabelle Allende, and Anne Patchett to the bathing experience. It's what makes thinking in the bath worth every single drop of water.  

Women poets are an unusual lot: none of us monied, few of us famous and all of us parceling out parts of ourselves in small but important increments.                                                                    Susan Grout

 I know I'm not alone in believing many of us through out the pandemic turned, with good reason, to poetry to soothe our souls. Combine that with a warm bubble filled bathtub and you have near perfection. Mary Oliver's observance of nature at it's most surprising and tender makes all of us more observant and aware of the glories of nature. Mary Oliver steadily hands us a quiet soothing moment in each of her beloved poems.

Nancy Hathaway who wrote on the Friendly Guide to the Universe gently and humorously informs us about the entire Universe through stories, mythology, science and observation. Planet by planet, star by star, quarks and more filled the tub with glee and intelligence. 

Jane Austen, who for me and billions of other women [and a few men], is a personal favorite has kept me fascinated and engaged since high school. Jane Austen started writing as  was a very young woman of 19. Think of it, her several excellent books have been cherished for over 200 years. I'm not embarrassed to admit that I've read Pride and Prejudice more than ten times and had numerous enjoyable viewings of the series on TV [the one in the '70's and the one in the 90's] and all of the movies. How extraordinary that in the early 1800's  she would claim Elizabeth Bennett as her hero. She set about to make Elizabeth Bennettt be  a woman who absolutely defied convention and is a model for females thinking for themselves. Grand. We, as women, owe her a debt of gratitude.

Here's a darling incident about a female author: I was in a Cafe in a small town in California where my younger son lives. As a treat we had brought our granddaughter to the cafe and told her she could order whatever she wanted. We got our croissants and other pastries and settled in at the outside tables. As we sat enjoying the weather and our coffee, in strolled this extraordinary vibrant older woman. She had bright exciting lipstick, black dramatic hair, a flared colorful skirt with a wide belt and a smile that lit up the outside. Following close behind was an elderly man who was, not happily, in charge of her miniature dog. I said at once, "Isabelle?" and she swooped down to give me a generous hug and she said, "it's so good to see you!"  Now I have a pleasant but fairly ordinary looking face and am frequently greeted by strangers as if they know me. Isabelle said, "I must send you and your granddaughter my latest books!" While I rushed inside to grab a pen and paper to give her my address, my husband asked Isabelle "how do you know Susan?" She said, "oh, probably from one of my book tours." I had never met her before. I was so thrilled to meet one of my favorite authors I said not a word. Returning home days later I received a book In the Midst of Winter for me and the promised book for my granddaughter. Isabelle Allende is someone so generous with her self as well as her books. What a treat! I've been a fan and admirer from afar for years.

Ever since I read and loved Bel Canto by Anne Patchett almost twenty years ago, I've read every one of her books. My imagination says that if I met Anne, like I did Isabelle Allende, she would be a friend. She is warm and genuine in her writing and picks interesting subjects. Her latest Dutch House is a good example, heartfelt, compassionate and breathes life into a family drama. Anne Patchett also is someone who puts her money where her mouth is and owns a bookstore in Nashville. I truly love a bookstore owner that has nothing to do with Amazon.

My next author's post will have to include other female favorites such as Ruth Ozeki, Amy Bloom, Lorrie Moore, Elizabeth Berg, Fanny Flagg. Stay tuned, stay aware of the rich possibilities for a pleasant soak or a long leisurely plunge into a chaise in the summer.

I'll close with a poem I wrote many years ago. 

The Intense Labor of the Poetic Aesthetic     Susan R. Grout

Writing and rewriting sometimes makes the verse worse.

Inspiration without hesitation, a trim hymn, a cozy poesy,

   beat their feet in quick retreat, leaving in their unruly tide

   strident verse I'd rather hide.

 Then raucous ramblings revert to rhyme,

   blurts and bleeps three quarter time,

   ghastly grasping the garbled glop, 

   along the page I'd like to stop.

What could have been, can never be, 

   for I've retired the liberty 

I am caged and bullied by the page. 

susansmagicfeather 2021 Susan R. Grout  

The Abuse Circus

Repression is a seamless garment; a society which is authoritarian in its social and sexual codes, which crushes its women beneath the intolerable burdens of honor and propriety, breeds repression of other kinds as well...

Salman Rushdie 

 Years of destruction and despair, we held our breath looking for repair. gone are the clowns with their sad frowns that circus is leaving town.                                                 Susan Grout 2021

 Still the gun violence rages through out this country. It is indisputable that banning assault weapons works to protect people. I've frequently sited the facts from Australia's ban of more than 20 years ago. Virtually no carnage compared to our poor country. 

Happily the NRA is being sued for their lies and promulgation of deceit, encouraging people to buy more guns.  Remember this is about fear and money. 

Eight people, six Asian American women and two men have been brutally murdered in the Atlanta area. Also in Colorado: more carnage, more humans lost to the NRA and gun lobby. More senseless tragedy and another incidence of the worst abuse that is being minimized in this country. Incredibly, some of the news media was actually being sympathetic to the murderers (Fox, and other right wing nuts) instead of the egregious crimes they committed against the women and men. This is the kind of crap we don't need more of: the continual daily fare of misogynism, scores of hate crimes being excused, blatant racism and gun violence on a daily basis being ignored. 

Reading about the effects of the domestic violence problem in our country [and to be fair in the world] is not only depressing but cumbersome. However the tome written in 1992 by Judith Herman  [Trauma and Recovery] is anything but cumbersome. Sure the subject matter is grim but her prose is fascinating and engaging. Until she bravely bucked the system and wrote the book, no one had connected the dots that connected the symptoms of the victims of domestic violence were identical to those of the soldiers in combat, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. [PTSD] Dr. Herman is the one who added 2 and 20,000 together and figured out that from the literal bushel barrels of reported cases of domestic assault [20,000 is a gross under estimate] the subsequent physical and mental fallout for the victims sounded and looked exactly the same.  As recently as a year ago when I mentioned to someone that victims of repeated and prolonged domestic abuse had PTSD, the person I was talking to said, "that denigrates those who are soldiers, that term should be reserved only for the victims of war." Don't we all wish that were true. Only the victims of war would be found to have PTSD then we could ignore the victims of domestic violence with identical complaints. 

As we, and all the world knows as recently as January 6th the Capitol of the United States was attacked and assaulted by a mob of predominately white men in MAGA red caps. This riot traumatized hundreds of people connected with the White House. Watching it from the safety of my home and left me in a state of nausea. The silencing and minimizing of the crimes started almost immediately with excuses for the perpetrators. One TV channel, Fox News and other right wing news organizations, acted as if the insurrection hadn't even happened.  Anyone who dared to speak about the atrocities was questioned as if they were mistaken. This coincides with these right wing news media outlets perpetuating falsehoods about Presidential election. "These were just patriots who [falsely] believed the election had been stolen," This statement implies that sedition is supposedly understandable. We all watched as the mob terrorized, beat up the cops, defaced and destroyed our Capitol and horrified the people therein. Yet a congressman Andrew Clyde compared the sedition to tourist walking through the White House. Minimization at its finest, as if this mob were just taking a leisurely stroll and oops they happened to bludgeon a cop or 100, defecate on the floors, steal a podium and a laptop from Nancy Pelosi's office. 

'Grow up people' I keep thinking. The truth:Joseph Robinette Biden is the President of the United States. Obviously it's easy to equate the connection between the mob abusers and the ones minimizing the abuse.  This kind of downplaying of the facts attempts to sympathetically prop up the abusers and tries to foster denial that no one was hurt. Facts: five people died, hundreds traumatized, many still suffering from the effects of being personally attacked or in fear for their lives. 

Why do I keep writing about this subject--- domestic violence--- over and over again? see post: https://susansmagicfeather.blogspot.com/2014/09/kapow-why-do-women-stay-with-abusive-men.

One answer: we just are recovering from the Abuse Circus that was started in the White House in 2016. It was threatened to continue through today if it had not been for the victory of the Democrats in 2020. Down with violence and hatred, it should be all our goal and maximized.

The ringmaster's leaving town, his bullies patrol the grounds

Plotting revenge even now, plotting revenge even now.                 Susan Grout 1/2021

Mind Release

Counting various sheep

 Midnight, middle of my night-

need to calm my mind

blow away the angst calm the flight.

 When on the odd night I awake in the middle of  sleeping, often I'm so wide awake and I can't figure out why. The pistons of my mind take flight. Was it too much stimulus on the movie I watched, am I worried about someone or something? This used to happen much more often with that "former guy" as President, "what new horror is being delivered?" But then now it's "how long is this blasted pandemic going to keep inflicting us?"

Last year I was literally scared for my and my husband and friends lives. I knew about how truly awful Covid 19 was because I have a good friend who worked, really slaved away in the emergency room of a big city hospital. She witnessed all the trauma that the patients and their families were going through. To do my part and help, I wrote a post last year on          If They Were Filming https://susansmagicfeather.blogspot.com/2020/06/if-there-was-film-answers-you-dont-want.html. It's only when people see and believe the terribleness of Covid 19 or one of their friends or relatives dies of the virus that they will believe of its veracity. 

We've gotten our shots, a huge relief! We're awaiting a reasonable time period before we venture forth, in our fashionable masks, traveling to see our family.

So, you might ask what's keeping me up at night? What's keeping you up at night? The silliness of worrying about the daily problems or troubles does absolutely nothing to solve them. For many years I had a nifty, though not flawless solution to the racing mind in the middle of the night. I urged my clients to write down a list of what's whirling on their mind or in their conscience. Take that list and on purpose make a deal with yourself that you will worry hard on the list in the morning for twenty minutes. If you get insights, write them down and make an action list. That is the deal, twenty minutes and then put the worry list away in a drawer to be used the next day. If your brain says, "ah, yes, we're worried about --------------------" answer firmly, "let's tackle that tomorrow, we already worried about that today". As simplistic as that sounds it works 90% of the time. Nothing works 100% of the time. That's life.

Another idea for calming, releasing the thoughts and any accumulated tension in the the mind and body is to get out of bed, ugh, and do some yoga or stretching. I read somewhere years ago that just ten minutes of stretching, or doing gentle yoga poses can aid in relaxation and encourage sleep. Let each limb have their say. In my case, I probably have over done the exercise or gardening or even walking. I give thanks with a silent prayerful attitude to all the parts of my body that work so hard for me.

Then I climb back in bed and urge the relaxation of each limb and tell the mind to: let go, let go. I breathe deeply and evenly, sometimes counting the breaths, but mostly trying to think of nothing "be clear mind." I need my sleep so dreams will come and give me a clue what's on my mind keeping me awake. 

People who insist on telling their dreams are the terror of the breakfast table.                                Max Beerbohm

Dreams are marvelous and not always ridiculous and last night was no exception.  I dreamt there was a surveyor in front of our house and he was busily making mistakes on the lines for our property. I asked him his name and he said, "Susan". Doesn't take a genius to see that apparently I have the feeling I've made some mistakes but nothing that can't be corrected. After all I did catch him in the act.

susansmagicfeather 2021 Susan R. Grout  

Bathing with John O'Donohue and Michael Singer and the Dalai

 I see my body as a temple or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.             Emo Phillips

How do you like bathing beauties?  I don't know I never bathed one.   Anon

Every other night I take a long, leisurely bath to relax and erase the worries of the day.  Because of the pandemic this ritual is not taken lightly. This is not an idle moment but a compliment to all of my senses because I bring with me into this small, lavish, luxury a book that I want to ponder, to savor and not race through as I do the many books of fiction I read. 

Nobody cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.    Cynthia Nelms

Into the bath comes the Art of Happiness which helps to educate me on the words, actions and beliefs of the great Dalai Lama. We [in my imagination] enjoy the exchange of wise words, hot water and bubbles. This gentle man has underlined the very big necessity for me [and the world] to value compassion, to always be open and loving eliminating hate and fear from my/our life. Quite a challenge today when the world is in a pandemic and I am mostly self isolating from the general public. The difficulty [as I see it] is avoiding people who choose not to wear a mask or keep a social distance.  These times call for extraordinary measures for safety. Although I do love people,  I don't want to die quite yet; especially by this dread disease. Why on earth would anyone want to potentially expose me to a virulent virus?  Truly, this makes no sense to me.

The Dalai Lama in his life has faced terrible circumstance and yet remains a calm loving presence who turns away all wrath. Immune from hostilities? No, there are the dreadful Chinese Communists who stole his land, murdered his people and caste him and all the other Buddhist monks out of their home. But does he hate them? Absolutely not. He prays for them. On every occasion the Dalai Lama is unstintingly gracious to all he meets. In these days of angry, deluded people in a mob storming our Capitol, I find this helpful as I sink lower into the warm water. Let's just say I believe I have a bit of work to do toward being completely gracious and compassionate. 

If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life.  Bette Midler

Then I've also welcomed John O'Donohue among the bubbles as he guides me through the steps to being more loving, to seeing everything in the light of love. This from his book Anam Cara : 

At the deepest level of the human heart there is no simple singular self. Deep within, there is a gallery of different selves...Frequently you see people who are sorely divided. They are in a permanent war zone and never managed to go deeper to the hearth of kinship where the two forces are not enemies but reveal themselves as different sides of the one belonging.

Doesn't that sound like something our country needs right now? The hearth of kinship sounds about right. We must stop all this thinking in black and white terms.  Even the nuttiest who believe the conspiracy theories must have a space in their hearts for some kind of love, some type of kindness. Supposedly the ones who attacked the Capitol claim vehemently that they love this country. We can agree on that! 

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?                          Lily Tomlin

 A movie that I saw years ago, "A Beautiful Mind", showed this kind of nuttiness on the big screen.  The movie based on the life of John Nash portrayed his schioaffect disorder combined with his paranoia. Yet, this man, dearly loved his wife and in his heart thought all of his paranoid thoughts were facts. Sound familiar? "The lie became the truth" said George Orwell in 1984.  Especially when they have heard endless lies repeated for years by the then by the then president.

Unfortunately, there is money to be made by TV "news" agencies, podcasts, and radio programs that are promoting conspiracy theories and copious lies. This does sound rather evil, twisting the truth which is utterly self serving by the prevaricators. To know the truth is right in front of them and then to purposefully promote absurd theories is so wrong. I know in my heart of hearts this is just for the sake of selling sweatshirts, baseball caps, travel mugs and advertisement. To me this doesn't seem like the best tribute to living a good, honest life. Does it?

Love your enemy, it will drive him nuts... Emmy Gay

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Me in my unsmiling self

To thine own self be true. William Shakespeare

Years ago, coming into full adulthood, I realized while I was working with clients that I had a degree of anxiety always underneath the surface of my mind. I continually thought: would my insights be good enough, effective enough, am I good enough, etc. Often I would be worried about a situation or person and no sooner had that problem been solved then my mind would happily seize on yet another person or thing to worry about and keep me occupied and sometimes, ugh, awake at night.  

Many years ago I discovered one of the best ways to reduce anxiety was those familiar slogans from AA and Alanon: one day at a time; keep it simple; live and let live; let go and let god; easy does it; first things first; think; and listen and learn. In addition to these platitudes I added a bit of science from a wonderful book by Thomas Doige, The Brain that Heals Itself . [This book has also been subjected to water boarding as it fell in the tub one time.] The book states that the brain, when it has repetitive/obsessive  thoughts can actually create a groove, or a track in the brain matter. The brain becomes convinced it's a good idea to go over and over the thought again because, well, the groove is already there to fall into. Trust me this is an oversimplification of an actual physical occurrence. The task before us is to let it go, distance ourselves from falling into an unsuccessful way of dealing with stress and worry. Further more, obsessing about a problem rarely solves it.

Yet another book that has been a helpful reminder to find a balance, a detachment from the constant internal dialogue we all seem to have is The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. His aim is to encourage all of us to find peace and tranquility by stilling the mind from the eternal, mostly silly chatter, which is the internal dialogue most of us have had since childhood. The goal is to attain a state of inner freedom and liberation. I'm all for it. Like the wise words of the Dalai Lama, change or growth occurs when you embrace your problems as opportunities, instead of hindrances.

I know that there are myriad ways available to cleansing yourself from worry, from grief, from trauma and most importantly to live a more tranquil life. A good way is to simply plunge yourself into warm water, still the rattling mind, breathe deeply and embrace one of life's grand though simple pleasures, the bath. Oh, and bring a worthy book!

susansmagicfeather copyright 2021 Susan R. Grout