Memories and Coping with Missing Events

 

Silas and Lulu outgrew me...

Lately I've started fantasizing about what I'm going to do in the future, I'm sure you're joining me in this endeavor.  I envision many lush trips and large, large festive gatherings with my extended family. [That seems shocking right now with the dread Covid 19 still running rampant.]  A lovely truth: sometimes anticipation is actually more enjoyable than the actual event. This is sometimes the truth with trips to foreign countries but never the truth when we're so fortunate to visit with our sons and our grandchildren. The visits were always so soul satisfying and dear to us. 

Now during this pandemic I eagerly await the time in the future when we can again visit with these darling people. How we miss them! Face Time is great but in some ways it's only a sad reminder that we can't embrace each other. This leaves me with great longing and yet there is also the gratitude to be part of their lives.

surprise: a pair of eagles hanging out

In the realistic here and now, what always brings peace and joy to me and Mr. G are the trips and hikes to the ocean or a lake on a sunny day. It's nourishing for us and oh so rejuvenating and stimulating. Being outside gives us much more than nature gets. Although we do occasionally pick up the trash carelessly discarded by others to aid in caring for our planet. We indulge ourselves, breathing in the sweet air, drinking in the atmosphere and letting our minds wander in tempo with our footsteps. A side benefit to  these slow, methodical walks, it always helps me sleep at night. I gather in the beauty like an armful of flowers to revisit at my leisure.

Lauren and James

Let me be the first to admit that I shutter at the thought we may miss another carefree summer. Those two words: carefree summer, makes me shiver with delight. How about you? Shivering...? Now with eyes opened by the pandemic to the all freedoms we took for granted, don't we all cherish and feel enormous gratitude for the times we were able to gather with our loved ones, especially the grands. 

What we never, ever  imagined was the wallop of this pandemic in early 2020. What we also couldn't fathom was the failure of our leaders. They could have mitigated the incredible blow of the Covid 19 virus.  Sadly, scientists and science were unceremoniously thrown out the window along with common sense. A stupid move to say the least. More than 300,000 lives have been currently lost to the virus. Some lives lost for the simple reason people believed their leaders who said that the virus was harmless, just like the flu.  Then for others, who chose to go masks less which contributed to unnecessarily spreading the virus. Remarkably, there were even a super spreader events at the White House with the predictable results of more positive cases. Now there's all this damage, grief and heartache to families, victims of this dreadful disease. Because the virus has not been successfully controlled, there have been numerous forced shut downs and many small businesses all across the country have gone under. 

Happily, to the tune of 80 million of us, we just elected someone who supports competence and science. Biden has filled his cabinet with people who are competent and experienced, who respect democracy, who are people of all colors and ethnicity and are caring for the recovery of our country. Hope!  Huge sigh of relief.

After a long winter, there is always Spring

Let's all come together to celebrate the changing of the guard, the end of the pandemic, the "Here Comes the Sun" rejoicing that comes from that hopeful speedy recovery. We deserve that joy for our country.

susansmagicfeather 2020 copyright Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

 

Photo Review of 2020 [and a bit of cheating]

Yes, you're right, it's not the end of the year! However, I decided that perhaps I could hurry it up by posting the pictures that I normally post in January as a celebration of the year past. Frankly, until the election there was not a lot to celebrate.

Lake Zylstra

In my life there are a few years that I literally couldn't wait until they ended, and 2020, actually nine months of 2020 were really difficult for all of us. So I decided to include a few pictures 2019 as well.  As  mentioned a kind of cheating, to easier, more care free times, I confess I sorely miss.

Hello to 2021! Good riddance [with a couple of exceptions] to 2020. For the entire world the year of the masks and the pandemics. For the U.S in particular the home of inept, fool hardy leadership that led to thousands of unnecessary deaths. A grim sad time for the world and our country. Hello to breathing a sigh of relief and welcoming new competent leadership in the White House!

The most wonderful exception of 2020 for our family was the very occasional visits with our relatives, son and grandchildren prior to the necessary shut downs across the country and in the world.

sunset is now at 4 pm, sigh

 

Lulu, me, Silas 2019

Here are some of the highlights of the last year 2020, what I appreciate and have cherished. As mentioned I threw in some pictures from 2019 because that was the last time we saw our son Josh and Lulu and Silas.  The picture on the right is from 2019, now Lulu and Silas are considerably taller than their Nana.

Lauren off to college

the ever growing James 2020

if you look really quickly, you'll see a host of friends and relatives from 2019 but some from 2020

Barred owl on a fence post

 last year in Victoria after Xmas with James and Lauren

If this seems like cheating to add the 2019 pictures, it's merely to aid my tiny bit of self delusion that this dreadful pandemic will be over very soon. Then we can joyfully get back to physical closeness and loving interactions with the ones we crave to be with.                                                                                                             

A bubble of love and sanity with Lauren, James, Zach and Anne

What helped me daily, no surprise, was many walks to the ocean.  Below is the mystical alignment of Great Blue Herons like ballerinas in a line. Back when we were doing okay and there was a blip in the restrictions in our state and we had a visit from Zach, Anne, Lauren and James over the non 4th of July. Lovely.  

Great Blue Herons

Prior to the restrictions, for which I am eternally grateful, Dick and I got to go to Kauai. Another island with another ocean and it was our last trip prior to lock down.       

Also we had the great good fortune to be with Jim and Colleen Grout literally days prior to the start of the restrictions in the country.

Jim, Richard and Colleen came to the island

                                                                       

To keep my sanity and enthusiasm, every week I've been Zooming with our sons and their families. In addition another very fun zoom is the weekly zoom with sisters Sally and Trisha and three friends from our guitar camp. Of course we weren't able to attend camp this summer due to Covid. So each week we share good stories, good tunes and play a guitar piece of our choosing for the Monday Zoom group.  This is a very welcome addition to our lives and keeps me busy practicing guitar,  learning some songs and even  creating new songs.

So many of our fellow citizens have lost someone they dearly loved to Covid,  I am, now more than a year and a half later, still honoring my dear sister Kathleen who died in 2019. During this pandemic, I created this tiny altar to her in our bookcase.

                              

Each day I miss her, yet have a smile in my heart for Kathleen who was a feisty, creative, so alive little sister, with her incredible talent and beauty.  To all of you who are grieving, my heart is with you.   

Our extended family's deck, a lovely Thanksgiving dinner. World's worse selfie, no?

                                                      

Dick pointed out the heart shape. Love abounds, look around.

My therapy: hard work outside in the    garden and also the forest.

Working in the woods is a good, soul satisfying release of all things stressful.

 I am wishing all of you: not only good health but the safest best of health; a calm demeanor despite difficulties; kindness to all of our people; letting goodness and love be foremost in your interactions. Let's kick ass in 2021 for goodness.

susanfmagicfeather 2020 copyright Susan R. Grout all rights reserved