To All the Men Out There - Free Ponies! Free Money!

We are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor to tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.        Thomas Jefferson

I have been astonished that more males haven't seen through the veneer of the Republicans offering the pie in the sky, no specifics for their "plans" to take back the country. Indeed if they are elected-- they will take back the country, right back to the 1920's prior to women's right to vote, and to the 1950's where misogyny was accepted. They are doing this by offering the equivalent of free money! and free ponies! to all. Oh, how silly of me, this is actually true for the people who are millionaires, not for the rest of us ungrateful, lazy slobs of the 47%. We won't be taking our ponies to the Olympics anytime soon.

Why would otherwise intelligent men fall for this? I am asking you. Why? Isn't it just dopey to suggest that we increase the military budget when the military is not even requesting it? Isn't it foolish to go backwards to policies that make it impossible for the people with preexisting conditions to afford or even obtain health care? I just read in the AARP Magazine [Oct/Nov] that the health care reform policies of the Obama administration offers will reduce the nation's deficit by $210 billion dollars in the next ten years "by reducing subsidies to private insurance companies, cracking down on waste and fraud and reining in profits." Also this will help by stopping the enormous pay outs for people that are currently flooding the emergency rooms with no insurance and the inability to pay. When the truth is this: currently we all end up paying for the uninsured. Think about it.

Then there are women's reproductive rights that are on the auction block. These rights certainly affect men and families. It is a grim, grim thought if Planned Parenthood is obliterated. Where will the poorest of the poor women go for birth control? Guess what? Duh, you'll see an increase in births. And further guess who doesn't want to help to pay for these blessed bundles brought to you by no access to affordable birth control? Interesting how sacred "life" is held up to all of us until the baby is actually born. Shades of Charles Dickens in the 1880's. Oliver Twist! Marie Antoinette! Let them eat cake! No too costly, let them eat surplus corn.

A woman's body can prevent pregnancy in cases of 'legitimate' rape.

Todd Akin,  Republican from Mo., sadly a member of the House Science Committee

There are in fact two things, science and opinion: the former begets knowledge, the latter ignorance.               Hippocrates, Law

To all the men reading this here's a very elementary thought: isn't what happens between a woman and her doctor private?  This is certainly true for all of you men. In my business, I hold sacred the rights of all my clients to keep whatever is said in my office in confidence. The exceptions: the client is a danger to themselves or others. An example [one that is true for counselors and doctors everywhere] is that if the client is being abused, or is suicidal or worse homicidal, then someone must be alerted. Other than that it is private, and I hold this as sacred as the priest hearing a confession. I don't repeat outside office what I've heard inside without the written permission from the client.

So, why is it OK for the politicians to be dictating to the doctors? Why is what discussed and decided upon with a women and her doctor open to political whim? Well, it's not OK ever. The right to privacy must be upheld. If that right and that trust is broken then it should be broken for any man considering a vasectomy ["every sperm is sacred" a la Monty Python] or penile enlargement, or Viagra for that matter. Do you see sweat forming on some of the lower male brows? I do, because this is a logical argument. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Just as for a young man, any grown woman over the age of 18 has a right to privacy between herself and her doctor.

Let's connect the dots. Who, I must ask all American voters, has the babies? Who brings that baby into the world? Who earned the right to vote in 1920 through a hard fought battle? Who has tried to keep these baby givers and voters restricted? I have a hint for you, it's not the Democrats. And it's not the Democrats who have it in their platform that no abortion is allowed, even in the case of incest or rape. [Richard Mourdock from the Republican party who Romney endorsed said that "God wanted that pregnancy"].  Is this a loving, nurturing, concerned or caring platform for women or their families? Is it right to attack the victim of a rape by requiring her to carry the child of her violent abuser? Isn't this just another form of abuse? Why and how can the Republicans justify no right to privacy for a victim of rape or incest? The fact is, horribly, most of the victims of incest are under the age of sixteen. So, not allowing her to have an abortion is a form of child abuse. In essence, they are recommending child abuse in their platform. Think about it: this is almost as egregious as the sexual abuse that the little child suffered.

When an entire party agrees that abuse of girls and women is acceptable and allowable, there is a word for that---misogyny, meaning hatred of women. If, in fact, you broaden the concept to include all of the countless families that would be affected by these insensitivity's: it is misanthropy, hatred of humanity. Ain't that a kick in the head? So if you are inclined to vote for the Republicans and their platform, well, then gentlemen, fill in the blanks.

There is a solution to the above. Vote for candidates who actually like and love women. Who respect the rights to privacy for men and women. Who would never dream of taking away your grandma's or grandpa's right to vote because he/she doesn't have a driver's license and hence no photo ID.

As simplistic as this sounds, vote for your daughter's rights, vote for your mother's, your granddaughter's and your grandparent's rights. Vote to honor women, not to disrespect them. Vote to promote kindness to the sick and the struggling and their families. Do this with love and gratitude that we currently have these rights and sincerely do not want to lose them.

susansmagicfeather copyright 2012 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

I Have A Confession to Make

I have a confession to make. I AM A NASTY WOMAN. There. I said it. Seems like I have been all of my adult life. Here is proof dating back four years.

I wrote this post in 2012 and I am editing it in 2016 but only very slightly, unbelievably the Republican party is backing a misogynist. Today, you might have heard, Hillary R. Clinton is running for office. Sadly, many women still haven't gotten the message that this would be a good thing for women, families and children everywhere. As for the comments about various religions what require head garb I could really care less, I do strongly care about is that all women have rights that are human rights and are educated everywhere and not ever subjugated anywhere. In peace and in love vote. HRC is a excellent choice.

Woman as warrior: Joan of Arc

Don't underestimate how much antagonism there is toward women and how many people wish they could turn the clock back. One of the things people always say to you if you get upset is, don't take it personally, but listen hard to what's going on and please, I beg you, take it personally."                             Nora Ephron

When the Ayatollah Khomany came into power in the late nineteen seventies he convinced the women of his country to embrace the veil, renounce many of their rights, be subservient to men and even allow nine year old little girls to be forced into marriage. He did this trick by claiming that it would be a rebellion from the Shah's regime. The women of Iran, in great numbers bought that argument [and are still buying it]. Unbelievably they agreed to turn back the clock. How tragic that they didn't remember or honor that their own mothers and grandmothers fought [and some died] to finally, defiantly, throw off the veil in the 1920's.

Sadly, this is relevant today. No matter how much we joke about what the Republican candidate is saying about women: calling them farm animals, sexually assaulting them and worse exhibiting contempt and disdain really this is no joke at all. We are trying to raise children here that have respect for all humans and by god this includes women. Guess he didn't get that memo.

Do we really have to go back to the time when women couldn't make private decisions with their doctors? [Reverse the roles and read that sentence with the word, 'men', see if it makes sense.] In essence, are the women who are voting Republican aware that they are in fact signing up to putting on the veil as well as the apron and be controlled by an out of control narcissist? Please take this personally.

No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her own body.       Margaret Sanger

I grew up in an era when contraception was difficult to obtain and it was quite a chore to get birth control pills. The Republicans claim that they are all for conception. If so why are they withholding the rights of women who want contraception covered on their insurance, why on earth do they want to shut down Planned Parenthood whose agency does 97% of it's work providing cancer screening and providing contraception affordably? Think! At the same time Viagra is easily obtained by any man who requests it and it is paid for by the insurance companies. Please take this personally.

Some of the members of the Republican party are in a state of de-volution

Two easy solutions to this problem. Stand up and be counted. Vote for Hillary, she respects women and her policies and goals are respectful of women.

Let's go forward--- let's come together in a spirit of compassion and reason. Lack of empathy for women isn't good for our country. Lack of empathy at best is a sign of narcissism at worst sociopathy. As a great sage once said, "compassion for our fellow man [woman] isn't a sign of weakness but instead is the mark of civilization."

susansmagicfeather copyright 2012 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

On Using Caution

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.                          Lao-tzu

One of the natural aids that helps to heal the hip after surgery is some technical assistance: a walker and crutches. How many times have I observed someone with crutches or on a walker and thought, well, basically nothing of it. I'm embarrassed to say, most of the time I would go on my merry way and not think twice about what the person in the walker or on crutches goes through. Then I took care of my nearly ninety year old mother for a week and revised my opinion about walkers. We bought her the Cadillac version, one equipt with a seat and a compartment to carry your belongings from hither to thither. We even joked about getting her a horn. "That's so nice for Mom," I thought.

My mother was so amusing about using the walker. She was even funnier about the cane she used prior to the walker. As I mentioned in a previous post when my sister accompanied her to fly to one of our nieces' weddings Mom had to ride in one of those golf carts they use at air ports. Mom brandished that cane like a sword. Up in her  cart-perch she waved the cane and shouted to all in front of her on route to the plane, "woo-hoo, woo-hoo, out of my way." Honestly, how embarrassing for my sister! Happily, Sis thought it was hilarious.

When she first acquired the walker due to several falls, Mother used to talk aloud to herself about it's use. "First I put the brake on, then I take a deep breath, then I stand up and center myself, then take the brake off  and I'm ready to go." Ha, I thought, how quaint and darling.
One of my tragic flaws is that I'm something of a show-off. This started from the time I was little. I loved to do cartwheels, one handed cartwheels, stand on my bicycle seat, hands on the handle bars, do an arabesque while flying down our little hill at age six. I also broke my arm by attempting to 'tightrope walk' on the top of a playground swing set.  Not a comforting thought for a mother but it never stopped me.

So, it had been three weeks since surgery and I was starting to exhibit some of my more obnoxious habits to wit, doing arm push ups on the walker. I did this for my husband's entertainment [he would say exasperation...] Thank god, he was in the bathroom waiting to dry my legs after a shower when the inevitable happened. I pushed myself up from the walker with my arms, my legs dangling and he wasn't quite ready with the towel so I did several more arm push ups and ----Oops! The walker slid out from under me. I didn't completely fall but fell with my back against the wall and my left leg protectively shot out in front of me. No harm to the hip [or as my home health nurse would say 'grandma's antique tea cup'].  I can only pray that my surgeon has absolutely no interest in this blog. I was fine, but I scared my dear Mr. G and myself to death. I actually shook throughout my breakfast.

I would love to report to you that I absolutely learned my lesson. I sincerely hope that this is true. I have been triply more cautious, but that I would take that chance with my new hip is really unconscionable. So the way I'm making amends is by being like my Mom. "First I brace myself, then I take a deep breath, then I center myself and then, I'm ready to go" I mutter internally. Same goes for the crutches. There are so many possible errors that can be made and I must be vigilant about not falling despite the pot holes in the road.

If you should happen upon me on my crutches, best to be cautious yourself around me. One never knows when I might decide that I can hop away with a flourish and fall right into you.

Me holding up the Bean in Chicago.

susansmagicfeather copyright 2012 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

The Home Journey

 As mentioned last post, all but one day in the hospital was good. However, that day when I was a projectile vomiting mess is when a dear friend came to see me in the hospital. I was so pleased but looking so grey/green that this dear friend came to check on me the next day. Truly, this is was above and beyond the call of friendship... I was grateful to see her again and she was greatly relieved to see that I was breathing.

Mom only succumbed to a wheelchair at the art museum in the last year of her life.

 Arriving home from the hospital I was greeted by two friends who brought good cheer and fabulous food, the perfect combo for recovery. This instantly energized me and this was just the beginning of my "home journey" toward recovery. Both of these friends know me well and sternly warned me not to over due and to follow all of the rules set forth by my doctor for the Anterior hip replacement. The next day came the home health nurse who is a very dear friend so it was palative in more ways than one. She said something that I needed to hear. "Susan remember that you've had major surgery and what has been placed in your hip should be treated like it is your Grandma's antique tea cup. Go easy and be careful." Then a really darling physical therapist has been urging and coaxing me to be slow and deliberate. I am not known for being slow moving or for being sedentary. Now I am required to be both. Not easy for me.

However, here it is exactly three weeks since the surgery and many good things have happened and many good lessons learned.

1. I learned to take the pain medicine prescribed so as to prevent the pain from causing acute discomfort. Did I follow that rule? Well no, and one night I didn't and paid the price, took me hours to get to sleep.
2. There are so many fabulous friends and good cooks in our small town. Mr. G and I have only cooked two meals ourselves in the entire time I've been home.
3. My husband, though quite the task master, is a superlative care giver and would be still getting up with me at night if I hadn't quietly just stopped asking for his assistance more than a week ago.
4. I have learned to unabashedly ask for help. I am usually the helper [and I like it that way] so this took some getting used to.
5. I am overwhelmed with gratitude: because I was able to have this operation; because of the friends; because of the excellent books that have come my way; because of the fabulous meals that have been brought to us; because my husband is retired and here for me constantly.
6. I am so fortunate that I had an Anterior total hip replacement [as apposed to Posterior] because there are far fewer restrictions on how I can move my body.
7. I absolutely lucked out with this glorious weather and have been able to sit out on our deck almost every day. I can't imagine how this beginning recovery would have been if I had been house bound.

So now my routine is to go down our road on crutches each day and do the exercises that the PT has helped me with. I have ventured into town several times and so many people ask me "what happened to you?" that I feel I should hang a sign over my neck that says, 'anterior total hip replacement right here'... A friend of mine said, "no you should just say,"when I was running with the bull in Pamplona, I got gored!" That is so much more glamorous than the truth about the surgery: osteoarthitis and genetics, but there it is. Being dull is never fun or glamorous.

susansmagicfeather copyright 2012 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved