Is It Possible to Reduce Violence?

Lights on, curtains down, the ringmaster's leaving town.                                    All his bullies patrol the grounds, plotting revenge even now.                                                                             Susan Grout 2021

Is this what happens in the U.S. of A.? We read the statistics that more than 20,000 are dead by guns this year, and almost half of that statistic by suicide. But how do we stop this preventable carnage? Have we become immune to the people that are dead or the ones wounded behind these numbers? Can we agree to stop this neglect now?

You turned your back then you turn the page,                           planting a hole in our soul.                                                          SRG 

 There is no question that we have a repetitive problem in our country and the world with violence toward our fellow humans. The amount of damage is grossly underestimated because every act of violence impacts so many people, not just the ones being attacked.

Why is it I keep writing about the subject of violence, most often--- domestic violence, over and over again? The answer: I'm very lucky in my life to never have suffered at the hands of anyone who took care of me or was close to me. When I became a psychotherapist in my twenties I was shocked at the stories I was hearing from my clients. I thought, 'really it couldn't have been that bad. Could it?' The dawn of awareness kept on coming, client after client with stories from their relationships or childhoods that were living within their skins and brains. This led me to help start 'Volunteers Against Violence' in our small community. I went to workshops and needed to learn everything I could about this very under reported, very misunderstood reality. 

In order to start a group to protect the victims of abuse and violence we needed to verify and find out how extensive the problem was. Two women friends and I went to the various Sheriff departments in our area to ask this question "How common is domestic abuse and violence in our county" and they all basically said, "oh it's not that bad around here. We usually just break up the fights". Of course this meant leaving the scene, no protection for the families no consequences for the abuser. This, to me, was horrifying---abandoning the women and children, the Sheriff believing that the families would "just figure it out." No help.  

Today, strengthened by our community with a department and salaries for the workers, the group is going strong. Fortunately our community now has the renamed 'Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services'. Also fortunately there are many other similar organizations though out many communities in the nation. The awareness has been raised because of a lot of hard work by many caring women and men.  We desperately need this intelligence to expand into the fabric of law enforcement. It's time to recommend the emphasis in the law enforcers needs to be on the abusers not on ignoring the families.  I keep reading about women who are being abused calling for help because they are afraid of the abuser. Worse many of these abusers have guns, guns and more guns. And sadly many times these calls are minimized or ignored altogether. 

Stunning crowds grew high on rage,                                                                       he left with a tarnished crown,                                                                               the circus is leaving town.          SRG

Even though de-funding the police has been unhelpfully touted as the best solution, reexamination on the tactics and methods used by the policed not only makes sense but is an obvious necessity.  This could start with less aggression used by the cops in making arrests. I'm curious, why not aim for a person's foot instead of their chests? Isn't that what sharp shooting is all about? Taser before bullets. Anyone have a good idea about that? How about using the very excellent social workers we have in this country to assist every police force? Then, how about paying those workers good salaries, as much as the police are given. 

I must give credit: we, as a country are making progress for women and on women's rights. Women are more protected and believed than when I started working on this problem of domestic violence in the '80's. The latest efforts are in the 'Me too' movement which is of course, years overdue. But it is progress. That's one reason why it feels demoralizing when the minimization starts up yet again about domestic violence.Example, is the January 6th,  sedition, which is of course was domestic violence encouraged and unleashed by #45 and his minions.

Why are people so afraid of giving our dear children lessons in kindness, compassion and love in the schools? In Denmark there is a program for children in compassion and caring. Why can't we have that instead of fighting about school prayer which conflicts with separation of Church and state.Why are some of the politicians afraid to stand up for the truth like teaching about inequality and racism and actual history that has been covered up for ages? Why are so many politicians and right wing newscasters in a rush to minimize the destructiveness of allowing citizens to carry combat weapons legally? Truly this makes no sense if we are attempting to minimize terrorism and violence. 

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Bring on the sun and the golden moon,                      return us to sanity from the gloom.                             Walk out proudly, feel the glee                             embracing peace for all to see,                                 embracing peace for the world to see.                               Susan R. Grout 2021

Isn't this what every human being wants, to be safe from violence, to be treated with respect, dignity and might I add, kindness? It seems to me if we were all following the wisdom of the many great thinkers of history we would all be actively promoting compassion, generosity, fairness, truth and love. 

susansmagicfeather 2021 Susan R. Grout