Memories and Coping with Missing Events

 

Silas and Lulu outgrew me...

Lately I've started fantasizing about what I'm going to do in the future, I'm sure you're joining me in this endeavor.  I envision many lush trips and large, large festive gatherings with my extended family. [That seems shocking right now with the dread Covid 19 still running rampant.]  A lovely truth: sometimes anticipation is actually more enjoyable than the actual event. This is sometimes the truth with trips to foreign countries but never the truth when we're so fortunate to visit with our sons and our grandchildren. The visits were always so soul satisfying and dear to us. 

Now during this pandemic I eagerly await the time in the future when we can again visit with these darling people. How we miss them! Face Time is great but in some ways it's only a sad reminder that we can't embrace each other. This leaves me with great longing and yet there is also the gratitude to be part of their lives.

surprise: a pair of eagles hanging out

In the realistic here and now, what always brings peace and joy to me and Mr. G are the trips and hikes to the ocean or a lake on a sunny day. It's nourishing for us and oh so rejuvenating and stimulating. Being outside gives us much more than nature gets. Although we do occasionally pick up the trash carelessly discarded by others to aid in caring for our planet. We indulge ourselves, breathing in the sweet air, drinking in the atmosphere and letting our minds wander in tempo with our footsteps. A side benefit to  these slow, methodical walks, it always helps me sleep at night. I gather in the beauty like an armful of flowers to revisit at my leisure.

Lauren and James

Let me be the first to admit that I shutter at the thought we may miss another carefree summer. Those two words: carefree summer, makes me shiver with delight. How about you? Shivering...? Now with eyes opened by the pandemic to the all freedoms we took for granted, don't we all cherish and feel enormous gratitude for the times we were able to gather with our loved ones, especially the grands. 

What we never, ever  imagined was the wallop of this pandemic in early 2020. What we also couldn't fathom was the failure of our leaders. They could have mitigated the incredible blow of the Covid 19 virus.  Sadly, scientists and science were unceremoniously thrown out the window along with common sense. A stupid move to say the least. More than 300,000 lives have been currently lost to the virus. Some lives lost for the simple reason people believed their leaders who said that the virus was harmless, just like the flu.  Then for others, who chose to go masks less which contributed to unnecessarily spreading the virus. Remarkably, there were even a super spreader events at the White House with the predictable results of more positive cases. Now there's all this damage, grief and heartache to families, victims of this dreadful disease. Because the virus has not been successfully controlled, there have been numerous forced shut downs and many small businesses all across the country have gone under. 

Happily, to the tune of 80 million of us, we just elected someone who supports competence and science. Biden has filled his cabinet with people who are competent and experienced, who respect democracy, who are people of all colors and ethnicity and are caring for the recovery of our country. Hope!  Huge sigh of relief.

After a long winter, there is always Spring

Let's all come together to celebrate the changing of the guard, the end of the pandemic, the "Here Comes the Sun" rejoicing that comes from that hopeful speedy recovery. We deserve that joy for our country.

susansmagicfeather 2020 copyright Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

 

Photo Review of 2020 [and a bit of cheating]

Yes, you're right, it's not the end of the year! However, I decided that perhaps I could hurry it up by posting the pictures that I normally post in January as a celebration of the year past. Frankly, until the election there was not a lot to celebrate.

Lake Zylstra

In my life there are a few years that I literally couldn't wait until they ended, and 2020, actually nine months of 2020 were really difficult for all of us. So I decided to include a few pictures 2019 as well.  As  mentioned a kind of cheating, to easier, more care free times, I confess I sorely miss.

Hello to 2021! Good riddance [with a couple of exceptions] to 2020. For the entire world the year of the masks and the pandemics. For the U.S in particular the home of inept, fool hardy leadership that led to thousands of unnecessary deaths. A grim sad time for the world and our country. Hello to breathing a sigh of relief and welcoming new competent leadership in the White House!

The most wonderful exception of 2020 for our family was the very occasional visits with our relatives, son and grandchildren prior to the necessary shut downs across the country and in the world.

sunset is now at 4 pm, sigh

 

Lulu, me, Silas 2019

Here are some of the highlights of the last year 2020, what I appreciate and have cherished. As mentioned I threw in some pictures from 2019 because that was the last time we saw our son Josh and Lulu and Silas.  The picture on the right is from 2019, now Lulu and Silas are considerably taller than their Nana.

Lauren off to college

the ever growing James 2020

if you look really quickly, you'll see a host of friends and relatives from 2019 but some from 2020

Barred owl on a fence post

 last year in Victoria after Xmas with James and Lauren

If this seems like cheating to add the 2019 pictures, it's merely to aid my tiny bit of self delusion that this dreadful pandemic will be over very soon. Then we can joyfully get back to physical closeness and loving interactions with the ones we crave to be with.                                                                                                             

A bubble of love and sanity with Lauren, James, Zach and Anne

What helped me daily, no surprise, was many walks to the ocean.  Below is the mystical alignment of Great Blue Herons like ballerinas in a line. Back when we were doing okay and there was a blip in the restrictions in our state and we had a visit from Zach, Anne, Lauren and James over the non 4th of July. Lovely.  

Great Blue Herons

Prior to the restrictions, for which I am eternally grateful, Dick and I got to go to Kauai. Another island with another ocean and it was our last trip prior to lock down.       

Also we had the great good fortune to be with Jim and Colleen Grout literally days prior to the start of the restrictions in the country.

Jim, Richard and Colleen came to the island

                                                                       

To keep my sanity and enthusiasm, every week I've been Zooming with our sons and their families. In addition another very fun zoom is the weekly zoom with sisters Sally and Trisha and three friends from our guitar camp. Of course we weren't able to attend camp this summer due to Covid. So each week we share good stories, good tunes and play a guitar piece of our choosing for the Monday Zoom group.  This is a very welcome addition to our lives and keeps me busy practicing guitar,  learning some songs and even  creating new songs.

So many of our fellow citizens have lost someone they dearly loved to Covid,  I am, now more than a year and a half later, still honoring my dear sister Kathleen who died in 2019. During this pandemic, I created this tiny altar to her in our bookcase.

                              

Each day I miss her, yet have a smile in my heart for Kathleen who was a feisty, creative, so alive little sister, with her incredible talent and beauty.  To all of you who are grieving, my heart is with you.   

Our extended family's deck, a lovely Thanksgiving dinner. World's worse selfie, no?

                                                      

Dick pointed out the heart shape. Love abounds, look around.

My therapy: hard work outside in the    garden and also the forest.

Working in the woods is a good, soul satisfying release of all things stressful.

 I am wishing all of you: not only good health but the safest best of health; a calm demeanor despite difficulties; kindness to all of our people; letting goodness and love be foremost in your interactions. Let's kick ass in 2021 for goodness.

susanfmagicfeather 2020 copyright Susan R. Grout all rights reserved 

PTSD: Prisoners of the Past, on to Recovery.

 This post I wrote is for the ones around the world that are combating PTSD. I'm attempting to answer why the recent surge in the amount of new cases of PTSD?

A liberal is a conservative who's been mugged by reality.  Anon

We were awaiting the results of voting across the country, it seemed to be a cliff hanger until the third day. So I waited with bated breath, some degree of anxiety and was at lose ends. This reminded me of clients over my many, many years in my counseling practice who exhibited signs of PTSD.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The characteristics are anxiety, fear, insomnia, heart palpitations, and either hyper vigilance or hiding from reality. I didn't have it but I know this pandemic has produced huge anxiety in millions of people who have lost their jobs, their security in their living arrangements, their child care, etc. This is reality for millions and must not ever be taken lightly.

This 2020 election was a very long haul and much of it very painful. Our country suffered some of the greatest numbers in the world of infections and deaths from the Covid-19 virus. Sadly it didn't need to be this way, many of these deaths were preventable. Our leader who contracted the virus due to his inability to wear a mask, [he's a known science denier], did recover by having every bit of the finest medicine and science had to offer, at his behest. Some grieving families ground their teeth in envy and sorrow for their dearly departed from the same disease who were unable to access such fine care. Hoards of our American citizens are suffering, grieving these deaths as they watched a loved one agonizing, crying out for comfort of their families. The Covid virus, being so contagious, made gatherings and care giving for families of the suffering victims impossible. The sleepless nights and guilt that followed soon overwhelmed them. 

In the book Trauma and Recovery author Judith Herman was able to show that victims of domestic violence share the same repercussions as the victims from wars. After her incredible, brave research into the subject, she got loads of horrified comments that challenged her on this tome. Much of the push back was from the victims of war who felt that label could only be applied to the most awful of symptoms from combat. Interestingly victims of gross domestic violence, sexual assault and sadistic parents or cults have the very same repercussions from their abuse. I believe that the families who watched their loved ones die with not a bit of family support due to the contagious virus,  now most certainly a degree of PTSD.

 Obviously, there are degrees of PTSD---from very mild effects to effects severe enough to cause a complete shut down of the mind/brain. This was first described as 'shell shock' from WWI.  What I believe is there must be an outpouring of understanding for the families that have suffered alone without the benefit of proper care for their loved one who is afflicted with this dreaded virus. Then imagine the torment as virtually no support was able to be given by the family who had to stand by in shock as their loved ones succumbs to the illness in loneliness. Then, after the eventual death, there is no memorial was possible for their loved. All for the want of a mask wearing and unwillingness to acquire the vaccine. 

Safety

Trauma and Recovery  recommends ways in which a person with PTSD  can recover and get on with their life. 

The first stage for recovery to take place is to be able to feel and be safe.   This requires establishing a safe place: in your living situation, in your relationships, in your community, in your mind and heart. I recommend taking the time for self care. Treat yourself as a very loved child and indulge in self soothing activities. 

Since this is the time of Covid obviously in person counseling is out of the question but there are a vast arrays of helping organizations and therapists on the internet. Are they safe? That requires some investigation. You can and I will look into that and get back to you.

REMEMBRANCE  and Mourning

As I've mentioned I feel so grateful that the timing of my dear sister's death was in April of 2019.  We were able to gather in great numbers to remember Kathleen in our lives, mourn her life and honor her in death.  This memorial really helped my entire family and started us all on the healing journey.  Covid has prevented this for right now. However, I urge you to make preparations now, for when we are over this dreadful plague, to have a celebration of the lives of those who've died since the start of the pandemic. It seems to me that the gathering of photos, writing down memories of the beloved, making an extensive guest list could possibly be helpful in the grieving process.  Don't rule out writing or recording exactly what happen during the time of Covid and especially focus on what it was like for you to stand helplessly by as your love one suffered. Talk to people you trust via phone, Zoom or Face time to express what happened. I believe this will alleviate some of the trauma. There are survivor groups on the internet for just this kind of thing  that you could check out for support. 

Become a Survival Hero

How can you join in helping this nation heal from all the this trauma, all of those lives lost?Can you help educate the ones who are rejecting scientists, refusing to get a vaccine, and with the on going [and unbelievable] denial of the importance of wearing a mask, frequent washing hands, distancing from all people by more than six feet, keeping a low profile and staying home? It is the eternal optimist in me that believes that we will be over this pandemic with patience and encouraging the reluctant to step up to kindness for our fellow citizens. Joking? No but I do think saying, "oops, you probably just forgot your mask..." is necessary and not shaming as some are suggesting. Let them know you've noticed. 

My humble opinion is don't give up. There is always good that you can do. Money can be donated to Feeding America, your local food bank, masks can be handed out and thumbs up to the ones who are wearing a mask and have been vaccinated.  Any volunteering at this time is so very important. We proved that in this last election when literally tens of thousands all across the country volunteered in helping with the election despite the risk of Covid. Brave dudes and dudettes.

Join me in this optimism and help out where and when you can.

susansmagicfeather 2020 copyright Susan R. Grout all rights reserved.

 

 

Pandemic Energy and Saving Sanity

 During this pandemic there's been a flurry of remodeling going on all over the country.  People, trapped in their homes and apartments have started looking around at their surrounding and wondering. I see them putting their finger to the side of their faces and internally saying, "hmm" as they view their territory.  "What can I change to make this a nicer in this place?"  I notice from looking recent at magazines and newspaper articles that the trend is toward redoing everything. Nothing is safe or left untouched. 

I am a big one for going all in and painting one wall of a room with a semi vibrant color as shown above with the mellow blue jean wall that holds my families lovely array of  paintings. Now it's November and though I feared the blue might make things look dreary in my rainy country, in fact this color looks comforting and homey. One wall and that changes the feel of the living room, to me at least. I'm fairly sure my dear Mr. G hasn't noticed the wall or any change at all. [I have often remarked that I could dye my hair black with nary a comment from my husband.]

Granted the "nothing left untouched mode", although it's extreme, there's  nothing wrong about it. This is the luxury: we're getting active and busy in the time of the plague. Since we're all in lock down in one way or another, we might as well make good constructive use of our time. For some this is a delicious exercise like mine--- walls that are dingy are getting brightened up, floors that needed attention are being fixed, projects like leaky faucets are being repaired. Some have even taken to remodeling their entire households starting with the kitchen.  The DIY's are rejoicing at the time and energy to revel in the changes. Truly a blessing in a weird times in all of our lives, worldwide. 

 Those of us fortunate enough to have a home are so blessed. Those without secure housing are in agony and fear and we shouldn't forget them. It's a time to be generous to those less fortunate than ourselves---do you hear me? oh you millionaires and billionaires? Taxes cut for those who absolutely didn't need it. Silliness has ruled for four years...

But now we're in the ninth month of what could have been a much less tragic and shorter pandemic in the U.S. It's so sad that the current administration made an issue of divisiveness instead of  cooperation. Literal life saving measures like wearing masks were  branded "unmanly" and disloyal to the big T. The President has held super spreader rallies, not only in violation of the Hatch act but at the cost of lives. He clearly doesn't care. It really angers me to know that literally we, the people, are paying for his rallies. Hopefully it will all end in January with a Democratic administration. 

It's a sadness and a shame that we can't seem to muster the attitude that our country had during WWII, "we're all in this together, no sacrifice is too small"!. People helped each other for the war effort. No, we've been harassed for the simple act of not spreading the disease by wearing a mask. Those in charge have encouraged discord and today, as I write the national guard is on stand by in many cities for fear of the right wing extremists, the ones who were described as "very fine people" by Mr. T. 

I'm trying not to hold my breath but I am longing for a soak in my bathtub with inspirational books as a distraction. I will turn into a prune but it's for such a good cause, my sanity. 

                         Holding up the world with strength and hope. 

    susansmagicfeather copyright 2020  Susan R. Grout  all rights reserved

 

Surviving and then Thriving

                     

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humor, the writing is on the wall.      Alan Bennett

Comedy is the blues for people that can't sing.        Chris Rock 

One horse laugh is worth more than ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is vastly more intelligent.                                                               H.L. Mencken

When I simply read all the news and listened to the radio I sometimes grow increasingly anxious and depressed. I'm relatively confident that I'm not the only one. I've concurred that most sane people are sick to death of COVID. It's so discouraging that some of our people refuse to listen to science and get vaccinated.  The current Biden   administrations has tried everything they can think of  to encourage people to stay safe, get vaccinated and not infect others.   

Rather than continually being discouraged I came up with a personal solution. Many mornings I've taken to watching the late night comics---for their take on the news. First of all, I end up laughing out loud and secondly they are vastly more daring and informative than most of the newspapers or the radio news because they are unafraid. It's their job to make fun of idiocy.  There's plenty of that going around.

Trevor Noah nailed the Supreme Court hearings with this bit of insight: "why bother with the confirmation process when each time they ask the nominee a substantial question it is as though they are talking to a toddler. Father: 'Did you take those cookies?'  Toddler: 'I don't know nothing about those cookies'." Sadly it was a forgone conclusion that the nominee would equivocate, dodge and evade any question about their obvious bias and prejudices. This is the truth. "No, don't know nothing about those cookies". 

Remember back to the  Presidential debates? Jimmy Fallon said the press gave Trump points for not being his natural rude, obnoxious self, "it's as though they were talking about a four year old behaving in church".  Melania wants that mute mike. No, Jimmy we all do.

They all make fun of the fact that T is desperately trying to find an "October Surprise". He keeps suggesting there is a scandal about the Obama or the Biden family. Where? Then the president's in-articulation about destroying the affordable health care and replacing it with--  what? No answer. The president though he has had four years to come up with an alternative has no plan. Furthermore, he denies that his administration is actively trying to take away the pre-existing conditions guaranteed in the ACA. As we speak the GOP case is before the Supreme Court trying to do just that. 

Meanwhile they are replaying all of the 'crazy Uncle' speeches that T is giving to his super spreader rallies all over the country. No masks, no problem. In those rallies he exclaims about how 'Joe is going to tear down buildings and replace all the windows with little tiny windows'...and 'wind mills cause cancer and are killing off all the birds'... and 'the shower heads don't give enough water to have a proper shower'...and 'suburban women please love me'...and he still doesn't understand that the song YMCA was a rallying cry for the gay men of America. Most deplorably, although he thinks he can, he can't dance. After watching that spectacle Trevor said, "he just lost every black voter in America".

During the debate there was the question of our president inciting racism and enabling division in America to which T exclaimed, "I am the least racist person in this room, well it's dark and I can't see everyone"... ! The man makes for comedy, at our expense.

I will get through the next two weeks with grace and some laughter. This is what I hope for you dear reader and that you will vote ASAP and put an end to this misery. 

susanmagicfeather copyright 2020 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved 

Are We Approaching PTSD as a Nation?

I am currently reading a book that I hoped, foolishly. would help me escape from this world wide pandemic. This Covid 19 has been pathetically,                          unnecessarily lengthened in this county by the inadequate, deceitful leadership from the White House and the GOP administration. 

I'm sick of war for many reasons, three of them will do:                                                                                                     It's 1815.    I am French.    and this is Waterloo.           Mel Brooks 

I'm sick of Covid for many reasons, three of them will do:

It's 2020.   I am American.  and this is the corona virus.  Susan Grout  

Although it's a very good read, unfortunately the book, Cher Ami and Major Whittlesey  is centered in the worst of World War I. The book is based on actual events although it's fiction. Cher Ami is messenger bird: a pigeon and Major Whittlesey is the brave man who tried in vain to save his regiment.  Reading this at night in my cozy bed has been a challenge because of the brutality and sheer idiocy of WWI. All of those dead and wounded young men, over 32 million by the war's end. Mustard gas that was used extensively in that war was/is so deplorable. Almost worse was the long, lingering debilitation from it. This and other poisonous gases gave life long consequences of breathing difficulties and skin problems to these men. You see where I'm going with this. 

Currently when our fearful leader contracted the corona virus [and unlike what any of us could expect if we caught the virus], he was given virtually every life saving device thrown his way, some even experimental.  Now he claims he is supposedly miraculously "recovered completely"! And to prove his prowess he's adding  "No contagion possible", and going out across the country as a super spreader. Of course if you believe this, by all means attend one of his rallies, mask less. Then stand next to someone in the crowd who is also supposedly not contagious and yell and scream and then breathe deeply. Then go home and hug and kiss the family and all your friends. After they are infected with the virus, see what treatments you and they are eligible for.  My oh my, how grateful you and they will be to you for bring them this surprise.

I believe many, many of those affected by Covid are in the throes of PTSD. Having lived through a nightmare that doesn't seem to miraculously disappear, now depression and worry set in overwhelming the survivors and their families. Brain fog, breathing difficulties, and in some cases, organ failure. In our country with more than 340, 000 deaths due to the virus, let's for a moment think about all those left behind. They either contracted the virus themselves and with difficulty recovered or watched from afar as a loved one got the virus and suffered all alone in a hospital and then died. Either way, there is going to be scarring and a residual torment for survivor or the grieving ones.

The aftermath of death from the virus for friends and families has been horrific. Because of  possible contagion there was no possibility of a large memorial or even allowing friends into your house for comfort. This is so profoundly awful.  I speak as a sister who is grieving my little sister. Fortunately for our family she died in 2019 and we were able to mourn as an enormous group and believe me it helped. How sad and sorry I am for families all across the world who have been unable to hold memorials.

This virus has ravaged the country. Sadly, if only that truth of how devastating the virus is/was acknowledged and we took immediate precautions our death rate would be a fraction of what it is. If only Trump acknowledged how virulent the virus, wore a mask to all important meetings and urged all Americans to do so, the numbers of deaths would have been a fraction of what is now.   How sad for those of us who lost a loved one to Covid, how sad that the country has continually been in lock down due to an inept administration. 

Tomorrow or soon, what are the best methods from recovering from the PTSD that is also now ravaging this country.

susansmagicfeather 2020 copyright Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

The Truth Unmasked at Last!

 

Many are in a conundrum. Why is there so much divisiveness in the country? Why does our President and his Republican party tear down people, ignore science, insult minorities and women,  threaten to disrupt the voting process when they supposedly want to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN? 

I believe I have the answer that's been true since the Obama administration: they want to make America white again; make America anti women and anti minorities again; and make America stupid again. 'Science, we don't need no stinkin' science!' Yet, ask someone why   they're voting four more years of this disastrous administration and they, to a person say, "I prefer their [GOP's] policies". What policies? 

 Truth: these policies are anti choice and white power. 

The latest proof that we have is the GOP Senators are in lock step going along with the egregious act of confirming a Supreme Court Judge despite all of them blocking Obama's choice for the office in 2016. Ruth Bader Ginsberg was the epitome of an excellent Supreme court judge. principled, courageous, fair, and who fought for equal justice for all. When she was dead one hour, the GOP administration announced that they were going to push ahead with the nomination, immediately. Just four years ago, high minded reasons were given for not allowing President Obama's choice for the Supreme Court.  "It's too close to the election [it was Nine months away] and the new President should have the right to choose the SCJ." Now amnesia and false justification has taken over and, guess what?The Republican party is most probably going to approve a Supreme Court nominee ONE Month before the election. The rage that some of us feel, this betrayal, over yet another slap in the face to integrity is overwhelming. When overwhelmed, I say ACT.

The nominee is Amy Coney Barrett a woman who is part of the group of Catholic women who believe that the "men are the heads of the household and make all the decisions".  [see the most conservative of views in the 1950's] Apparently,  this is the pick we'll be stuck with. Goodbye to Roe vs Wade that we worked long and hard to pass, farewell to the ACA so imperatively need in this time of the pandemic and forget about your concern about the environment, the laws will continue to be sabotaged. 

As I have mentioned in previous posts, when abortion was illegal, women died in desperation. The women and sometimes young girls had no choice to safely terminate an unwanted pregnancy. I, myself had a legal medical abortion many years ago. A baby I was carrying died inter utero at four months. Had it been just five years earlier, 1972, I would have been required to carry that baby to 'spontaneous abortion' which could have cost me my life. 

Let's reverse roles here. Wonder if women were cruel and had the power of the laws behind them and wouldn't allow a man to have a choice of what to do with his reproductive rights. The husband comes to her and says, "I've been diagnosed with testicular tumors, probably cancerous, can I please have an operation to free myself from worry and pain?". The woman coolly appraises him and says, "NO, that might interfere with my right to have more babies, let nature take it's course!". That's the position all women were in until 1973 when they won the right to have say over their own bodies. The right to privacy with their physician was a hard fought battle. It still is in many states, a very hard fought battle. 

Another truth: a woman can get pregnant once a year at most. Ironically a man can impregnate many thousands of women, if he chooses to in one year. Why is the pregancy burden always on the woman? That is some pretty fancy footwork to blame the woman. As we all have seen, people piously and obnoxiously stand outside the abortion clinics waving signs and begging women to not abort. Ah, but where are these pious people when that child is born? I can state emphatically--- they're not there to help that woman. Her reasons for the abortion are many. It might be that she couldn't either afford the child, or was in ill health, or was so very young and ill equipped to raise a child.  Good reasons. The pious and obnoxious ones are actually only pro birth, not willing to aid or give any help to that woman or girl after that child is born. Couldn't we agree to shift the blame. WHO got that woman pregnant?  Why isn't the emphasis on the men? 

Years ago I'd go into the high school and talk about the dangers of drugs and alcohol during the teenage years. Inevitably the subject of girls drinking to drunkenness would come up. Some cocky boy would smirk and I would lead the discussion about the the responsibility of boys having or attempting having sex with an impaired girl. What about responsibility? The consequences of having sex?  I let them know that the lowest incidents of teen pregnancy in the world were in Japan. Also, at that time, the only form of birth control in Japan was the Condom.  A hush fell in the room,  No one but me was willing to speak to the obvious: it's clearly not just the woman who can do birth control, Japan proved that.

We all want loving relationships, don't we? We all want our children loved, fed and taken care of. Don't we also want truth, justice and the American way?  What has become of the American way? For parts of this country the American way is thought to justify racism, ignore the unfair advantages given to people of wealth and allowing women, minorities and people of color to be discriminated against. This had got to stop. I urge you to take action. Vote the rascals out, donate to the Democrats and at least we have hope that this country can become, again the admired country. Right now we are a grieving country and our leaders have failed us miserably. 200,000 dead. The worst in the world, and why? Because someone doesn't want to tell the truth and, oh yeah, muss his hair. 

susansmagicfeather 2020 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

Pandemic insights

Swimming is always good

During the Pandemic, starting in March, I realized that we were probably in this lock down for a long time. Our Governor urged: stay at home for the long haul; wear masks; and wash your hands thoroughly. All of this was for the benefit of  the most vulnerable and so we weren't spreading Covid. Masks have been proven to stop the threat of the virus. How I wish that this nation agreed with Inslee and me. Instead of a rather quick recovery, as witnessed in many parts of the world, we are going into our sixth month with no end in sight. Maskless idiots are ruining our chance for a "Get out of Jail Free" card.

Being an optimist I firmly, ha ha, believed that people would also want this stay at home order to end as quickly as possible. Erroneously people believed the nay sayers about staying safe, wearing a mask, washing hands carefully etc. and took to the beaches and bars and spread the virus far and wide. No help from the White House as Mr. T didn't want to muss his hair with a mask. Despite every evidence to the contrary, especially lessons learned from foreign countries that it was effective, T urged his followers to "liberate" themselves from the restrictions, be out there and party! 'Oh, no,' says I--- and about forty million rational people, 'here we go'. We're now at 160 K deaths, expected to go to 200 K in a couple of months. This is an outrage, unnecessary and the buck does stop at the White House. In sorrow and with great love,  I think of all those people and their families affected in that grim statistic and how they are mourning their loved ones. Because of the virus they aren't able to embrace each other safely or gather in large groups. 

One of the many revelations that I have had during this lock down was that I firmly believed I was an extrovert. I thought that I needed  a bunch of people to replenishes myself in times of stress. I found out differently. I am more introverted that I knew and am able to rejuvenate at home with my Mr. G, books, movies and guitar.  Taking matters into my own hands for the long period of few contacts with my friends and family, I decided to have this period of my life become meaningful and rich.

One of the things I vowed to do was read some of the books that I've collected over the years. One particularly beautiful book was The Renaissance. In this glorious, art filled, coffee table book each chapter was written by a different scholar, an expert writing about that period. This lovely tome weighs in at about three or four pounds and is huge. I could never read this book at night in bed, it would crush my chest.  

I started out most enthusiastically and roared into the 14th century thinking, "ah this will be such a reprieve from the pandemic"!  How wrong can one be? The Renaissance, from page one was filled with stories of the plague, constant wars, graphic brutal murders, political intrigue and many assassinations. Oh me or my. You can run but you can't hide. We are so not unique in history. 

Supposedly we are smarter than the citizens during the 14th to 16th centuries,  but some of  the United States citizens have proven that's not true. We have more sophisticated science, labs, literature and information but at this date, yet we haven't found a single vaccine and many of our citizens disbelieve the scientists and doctors. Exactly what century are they embracing? Alas we are stumbling along in the dark with this clever virus that is apparently,  always, ten feet ahead of us. 

What to do to avoid constant anxiety about the pandemic? Well, for one, set up a schedule. I read a column in the New York Times about women who went into space and were without human contact for more than a year. How on earth [tee hee] did they survive, even thrive in this isolation?  It turns out to a person they had a hearty schedule. Granted they were rigorously trained  for this extensive experience and they had important work to do. Some of you have the most important job in the universe: raising children. I am a mother but also a Grandmother with great longing to be near my grands, one of whom is starting [fingers crossed] college. [She is flying away but in actuality, really driving away.] So I started writing letters to each of the grands and have gotten three replies, not perfect, but I'll take it. One of my dear sisters and I have been exchanging letters and that has been wonderful. Receiving a letter in the mail is a delight. Now with the Threat of Starving the Post Office! by Mr. Cheating T, we are all in anticipation of theft by deprivation and a slowing of the mail so he can claim victory in November. Makes me sick. 

My schedule is nothing shocking or revelatory. My daily routines are fairly pedantic such as cooking meals although I try to make the meals varied and interesting, rarely boring.  I have a small garden that could overtake the world with cherry tomatoes. Who knew that they were as bad as over planting zucchini? Then I make a deal with myself to exercise each day knowing my reward is to be able to eat most anything I want. I schedule playing guitar and singing most days at 4 pm which I just read improves sleep and, for those of you who snore, one half hour of singing just might take that away. I relish all the time I can read especially at night in bed. Supposedly that is a no-no but I have always derived great pleasure being in bed with a good book. Then for the things that are only occasionally attacked like writing this blog, journaling and composing songs, I am an unfaithful attendant. I am a faithful attendant, and can take no credit, though I  value it deeply,  to the weekly zoom that I do with two of my sisters and three men from our guitar camp. We have a topic do discuss each week like "what is your favorite day of the week" and tell stories from our lives. Also each Monday Zoom includes a song that we perform from the topic at hand. This week the topic is HOPE and the song selection is Blues. It's always entertaining and enjoyable and I look forward to it. My husband and I watch movies at either educate or tickle us. Humor and education is very important at times like this. Weekly I do a bit of volunteering for the local Democrats group and hustle to get out the vote for various candidates. In ordinary times I would be volunteering with children at our local grade school or once most charmingly with a family that had triplets and a toddler.

Yikes the conquering tomatoes

That's what I've come up with to keep me sane and smiling. To reach the people I love we do Zoom and Face Time, of course it's not enough. So people, my plea to you is simple, please follow the guidelines that have been successful for so many other countries and let's get out of jail, free.

susansmagicfeather  copyright 2020 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

Bullock  Oriole stops by 

Trust Your Gut and Ignore the Liars

There's a pig in the White House and in the air

Law and Order is like patriotism---anyone who comes on strong about patriotism has got something to hide; it never fails. They always turn out to be a crook or an asshole or a traitor...

Bill Mauldin

 Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.                                                 Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche 

How about our current president is all three: crook, AH and traitor,  #45 and  this awful GOP administration.

As we have all seen, last month the Constitution of the United States of America was being tear gassed, the rights of citizens for a peaceful protest suddenly taken away from them for a photo opportunity by #45. Even the Marines head officer said, "there was use of excessive force" against the protesters and literally that has become a super aggressive and excessive force against the protesters in Portland, Oregon and now Seattle. These are men from the Black River militants who are owned by Betsy de Vos's brother and believe it or not hired to be militant. Who profits from all the chaos of unwanted militants sent into the Democratic cities? Why Betsy de Vos's brother of course. There is great profit in war for a very few...

Many of us fear mightily that before our eyes the country is losing ground to these right wing nut cases. Don't believe it. We need to keep uniting in our shock and disbelief that our own government could turn against us, the citizens. This is the mark of someone, I wonder who, wants to be a dictator. And who among us wants a liar, traitor, thief . I believe it's called grifting, one who  profits from being president and made all of his family rich at our expense.  That my friends is also called theft.

T's distraction and farce is suggesting that "we should postpone the election". Jimmy Fallon suggested that "what, like Republicans vote on Nov. 3rd and Democrats, TBD at a later date?" More ramblings from a very unstable idiot. Now he's attacking the Post Office, a treasured place to all of us, wishing to  destroy it hoping that will sway the election his way. This is not love for country instead it is love for self above all else.

Egomania in the hands of an ordinary man, while it is certainly irritating, is nothing in comparison to egomania in the hands of the man in the highest office in the nation. This folks is cause for grave concern. Speaking of grave concern, he "takes no responsibility" for botching the Covid recovery that we all deserved and didn't  get. I just read that Bret Stevens said "the important thing is for the GOP  to take such a shellacking in November that it will be as the political equivalent of an unsedated colonoscopy." Here, here! and hopefully everywhere the people will rid us of this nightmare of the #45 administration we've all been living for the past three and a half years. Please! I'm asking nicely and most sincerely. Vote them out.

Need I say more?

susansmagicfeather 2020 copy write Susan R. Grout all rights reserved