My Journey to Surgery

Hopefully she has some good people for her recovery

As I said in my last post [9/9/12] I never casually sign up for voluntary pain. That's one of the reasons that I fought and fought hard to not have total hip replacement surgery. Here's a brief list of the methods I employed to fight the inevitable:

1. I read and re read Sarno's book Healing Back Pain in the belief that I was faking it.
2. I distracted myself from the pain mentally with loving thoughts, ignoring the the pain, pushing through the pain, giving myself stern talkings to...
3. I distracted myself physically with breathing techniques, yoga, acupuncture, bike riding, hikes and physical therapy.
4. I took copious vitamins, herbs like tumeric, rubs like arnica, pills like aspirin and aleve.
5. I saw doctors: my primary care physician, a Rheumatoligist.
6. I submitted to X rays and a cortisone shot in the hip [ouch x3].
7. I got two professional opinions from orthopedic surgeons.

I finally faced the truth, as my chosen surgeon said, "nothing you could have done and nothing short of the total hip replacement is going to take the pain away," from my poor little degenerated hip bones. So I scheduled surgery.

Once I had the date for surgery I was handed a three ring binder called "My Joint Journey" [I am not making this up]. In it was the lush detail of how to prepare for surgery, how to prepare your house, the exercises that they recommended prior to surgery and  after surgery. Not exactly stimulating reading unless you're about to voluntarily go under the knife.

Things changes. I went from the most reluctant candidate for surgery to the most impatient. Not being able to walk very far greatly influenced my turn around. I was reminded of this when I witnessed my cat who ordinarily turns tail and runs at the sight of the cat carrier, actually walked into it after his last fight with the local bully racoon. The very good Mr. G took him to the vet to get patched up with hardly a gutteral meow. Goes to show that when you need care, you want it ASAP. I lucked out and someone cancelled and I got in for my surgery three weeks earlier than was originally scheduled.

I knew that I was in the best of hands, I had researched well [with the help of my daughter-in-law] and my logical brain finally kicked in to comfort me. This happens when I board an airplane, I always say to myself, "I can't fly this plane so I surrender all control to the pilot." My surgeon, a jewel of a man, radiated enthusiasm and confidence. Believe me that helped enormously. He was my pilot, I surrendered control to him.

The night before surgery we got to stay with my son's family and that was a treat and comforting. My grandson flings himself on me and is "my blanket" and my granddaughter hugs me and pats my back saying "you're going to be fine." My daughter in law [who is a Physical therapist] had many words of wisdom and reassurance. My son, as usual, was darling and dear to me.

The hospital experience was excellent in that it is a well oiled machine with caring professional nurses. I kept jokingly saying to the nurses that this was "my spa experience" and part of me was absolutely serious. OK, no mani/pedis or facials or massages but loving attention and concern about me and my experience in the hospital.

Only one day was atrocious and that was the day after surgery. I had a violent reaction to the Oxycontin and barfed not only on my nurse but also on the PT. The determined PT really wanted me to get out of the bed and god knows I made an attempt but the black dots in front of my eyes got in the way. My BP had dropped down to 62/48 with all of the barfing. Thankfully they quickly figured out it was the meds, and once those dreadful pills left my system I was truly better. My son and family showed up that evening and I was able to revel in my grandson projecting himself all over the room, Superman fashion, on the nurses rolling stool.  My granddaughter made a game of the walker and son and daughter in law brought treats. There is no question in my mind that the most welcome ingredient for a fast recovery is loving attention.

Tomorrow I will talk about another essential ingredient in recovery.

susansmagicfeather copyright 2012 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

Anticipation, ADD and Adaptation

A painting my Mom did of the county fair

I am close to having a total hip replacement and am attempting to be calm and philosophical about the entire experience. Ha. It's like there's a small circus living under the back of my skull, distracting me from today, riotously projecting me into the future.

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

When I have a big event in my life my latent form of ADD takes over. I found myself diligently scrubbing my soap dispenser when that awareness hit me. After wiping down the cabinets, making a pie, doing two loads of wash and cooking breakfast, it's all I can do not to redecorate the entire house. Also, in my pre-operative state, I forget to eat and am easily distractable from mundane tasks. Last night I was going to have a glass of wine, but the bottle wasn't cold enough so I put it in the freezer and then set about making a shrimp/pasta/veggie dish for dinner. Lo and behold, when I went to get a few ice cubes this morning, there was my Chardonnay Popsicle. O dear.

I guess that there plenty of up sides to this ADD, the house is in order, the clothes clean, folded and put away. I'm quite ready for my surgery physically. Emotionally, hmm.  I wonder if I'll ever be ready to go into the hospital, voluntarily, to get cut. This is the main reason that I fought this hip replacement for almost five years. This is also the reason that elective plastic surgery absolutely baffles me. Signing up for pain? No, thank you, that just sounds silly to me.

In analyzing why I was so recalcitrant about the hip surgery I came up with a number of reasons.

1. My husband hadn't retired until April and I guess that I felt insecure about asking friends and relatives to be available to take care of me.
2. We had insurance that wouldn't allow me to choose my surgeon myself.
3. I was able to ride my bike literally anywhere I wanted to go in our small town.
4. I was inconvenienced by my hip but wasn't in pain until seven months ago.
5. I was deluded into thinking I could get better on my own.
6. My Grandma died after her hip surgery, [however, she was 86 years old...]

All of the above sounds semi ridiculous now as I write it. But they were contributing factors to my reluctance. That all changed with the negative: the advent of pain, and the inability to walk more than a couple of blocks. And the postive changes: my husband's retirement and our new health insurance. Then seeing the x ray of my poor little bone-on- bone hip made the decision easier.

Let me remind you, I'm very grateful to have this operation, I just wish I was on the other side and well into my recovery. O well.

Wish me luck and a speedy recovery. If you're inclined to pray, please do so, if you're inclined to sweet visualizations and sending healing energy, fling some my way. I'm confident I'll be fine and recover quickly, but there's this small circus...

susansmagicfeather copyright 2012 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved