PTSD: Prisoners of the Past, on to Recovery.

 This post I wrote is for the ones around the world that are combating PTSD. I'm attempting to answer why the recent surge in the amount of new cases of PTSD?

A liberal is a conservative who's been mugged by reality.  Anon

We were awaiting the results of voting across the country, it seemed to be a cliff hanger until the third day. So I waited with bated breath, some degree of anxiety and was at lose ends. This reminded me of clients over my many, many years in my counseling practice who exhibited signs of PTSD.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The characteristics are anxiety, fear, insomnia, heart palpitations, and either hyper vigilance or hiding from reality. I didn't have it but I know this pandemic has produced huge anxiety in millions of people who have lost their jobs, their security in their living arrangements, their child care, etc. This is reality for millions and must not ever be taken lightly.

This 2020 election was a very long haul and much of it very painful. Our country suffered some of the greatest numbers in the world of infections and deaths from the Covid-19 virus. Sadly it didn't need to be this way, many of these deaths were preventable. Our leader who contracted the virus due to his inability to wear a mask, [he's a known science denier], did recover by having every bit of the finest medicine and science had to offer, at his behest. Some grieving families ground their teeth in envy and sorrow for their dearly departed from the same disease who were unable to access such fine care. Hoards of our American citizens are suffering, grieving these deaths as they watched a loved one agonizing, crying out for comfort of their families. The Covid virus, being so contagious, made gatherings and care giving for families of the suffering victims impossible. The sleepless nights and guilt that followed soon overwhelmed them. 

In the book Trauma and Recovery author Judith Herman was able to show that victims of domestic violence share the same repercussions as the victims from wars. After her incredible, brave research into the subject, she got loads of horrified comments that challenged her on this tome. Much of the push back was from the victims of war who felt that label could only be applied to the most awful of symptoms from combat. Interestingly victims of gross domestic violence, sexual assault and sadistic parents or cults have the very same repercussions from their abuse. I believe that the families who watched their loved ones die with not a bit of family support due to the contagious virus,  now most certainly a degree of PTSD.

 Obviously, there are degrees of PTSD---from very mild effects to effects severe enough to cause a complete shut down of the mind/brain. This was first described as 'shell shock' from WWI.  What I believe is there must be an outpouring of understanding for the families that have suffered alone without the benefit of proper care for their loved one who is afflicted with this dreaded virus. Then imagine the torment as virtually no support was able to be given by the family who had to stand by in shock as their loved ones succumbs to the illness in loneliness. Then, after the eventual death, there is no memorial was possible for their loved. All for the want of a mask wearing and unwillingness to acquire the vaccine. 

Safety

Trauma and Recovery  recommends ways in which a person with PTSD  can recover and get on with their life. 

The first stage for recovery to take place is to be able to feel and be safe.   This requires establishing a safe place: in your living situation, in your relationships, in your community, in your mind and heart. I recommend taking the time for self care. Treat yourself as a very loved child and indulge in self soothing activities. 

Since this is the time of Covid obviously in person counseling is out of the question but there are a vast arrays of helping organizations and therapists on the internet. Are they safe? That requires some investigation. You can and I will look into that and get back to you.

REMEMBRANCE  and Mourning

As I've mentioned I feel so grateful that the timing of my dear sister's death was in April of 2019.  We were able to gather in great numbers to remember Kathleen in our lives, mourn her life and honor her in death.  This memorial really helped my entire family and started us all on the healing journey.  Covid has prevented this for right now. However, I urge you to make preparations now, for when we are over this dreadful plague, to have a celebration of the lives of those who've died since the start of the pandemic. It seems to me that the gathering of photos, writing down memories of the beloved, making an extensive guest list could possibly be helpful in the grieving process.  Don't rule out writing or recording exactly what happen during the time of Covid and especially focus on what it was like for you to stand helplessly by as your love one suffered. Talk to people you trust via phone, Zoom or Face time to express what happened. I believe this will alleviate some of the trauma. There are survivor groups on the internet for just this kind of thing  that you could check out for support. 

Become a Survival Hero

How can you join in helping this nation heal from all the this trauma, all of those lives lost?Can you help educate the ones who are rejecting scientists, refusing to get a vaccine, and with the on going [and unbelievable] denial of the importance of wearing a mask, frequent washing hands, distancing from all people by more than six feet, keeping a low profile and staying home? It is the eternal optimist in me that believes that we will be over this pandemic with patience and encouraging the reluctant to step up to kindness for our fellow citizens. Joking? No but I do think saying, "oops, you probably just forgot your mask..." is necessary and not shaming as some are suggesting. Let them know you've noticed. 

My humble opinion is don't give up. There is always good that you can do. Money can be donated to Feeding America, your local food bank, masks can be handed out and thumbs up to the ones who are wearing a mask and have been vaccinated.  Any volunteering at this time is so very important. We proved that in this last election when literally tens of thousands all across the country volunteered in helping with the election despite the risk of Covid. Brave dudes and dudettes.

Join me in this optimism and help out where and when you can.

susansmagicfeather 2020 copyright Susan R. Grout all rights reserved.

 

 

Pandemic Energy and Saving Sanity

 During this pandemic there's been a flurry of remodeling going on all over the country.  People, trapped in their homes and apartments have started looking around at their surrounding and wondering. I see them putting their finger to the side of their faces and internally saying, "hmm" as they view their territory.  "What can I change to make this a nicer in this place?"  I notice from looking recent at magazines and newspaper articles that the trend is toward redoing everything. Nothing is safe or left untouched. 

I am a big one for going all in and painting one wall of a room with a semi vibrant color as shown above with the mellow blue jean wall that holds my families lovely array of  paintings. Now it's November and though I feared the blue might make things look dreary in my rainy country, in fact this color looks comforting and homey. One wall and that changes the feel of the living room, to me at least. I'm fairly sure my dear Mr. G hasn't noticed the wall or any change at all. [I have often remarked that I could dye my hair black with nary a comment from my husband.]

Granted the "nothing left untouched mode", although it's extreme, there's  nothing wrong about it. This is the luxury: we're getting active and busy in the time of the plague. Since we're all in lock down in one way or another, we might as well make good constructive use of our time. For some this is a delicious exercise like mine--- walls that are dingy are getting brightened up, floors that needed attention are being fixed, projects like leaky faucets are being repaired. Some have even taken to remodeling their entire households starting with the kitchen.  The DIY's are rejoicing at the time and energy to revel in the changes. Truly a blessing in a weird times in all of our lives, worldwide. 

 Those of us fortunate enough to have a home are so blessed. Those without secure housing are in agony and fear and we shouldn't forget them. It's a time to be generous to those less fortunate than ourselves---do you hear me? oh you millionaires and billionaires? Taxes cut for those who absolutely didn't need it. Silliness has ruled for four years...

But now we're in the ninth month of what could have been a much less tragic and shorter pandemic in the U.S. It's so sad that the current administration made an issue of divisiveness instead of  cooperation. Literal life saving measures like wearing masks were  branded "unmanly" and disloyal to the big T. The President has held super spreader rallies, not only in violation of the Hatch act but at the cost of lives. He clearly doesn't care. It really angers me to know that literally we, the people, are paying for his rallies. Hopefully it will all end in January with a Democratic administration. 

It's a sadness and a shame that we can't seem to muster the attitude that our country had during WWII, "we're all in this together, no sacrifice is too small"!. People helped each other for the war effort. No, we've been harassed for the simple act of not spreading the disease by wearing a mask. Those in charge have encouraged discord and today, as I write the national guard is on stand by in many cities for fear of the right wing extremists, the ones who were described as "very fine people" by Mr. T. 

I'm trying not to hold my breath but I am longing for a soak in my bathtub with inspirational books as a distraction. I will turn into a prune but it's for such a good cause, my sanity. 

                         Holding up the world with strength and hope. 

    susansmagicfeather copyright 2020  Susan R. Grout  all rights reserved