Sex and Women: An American Dilemma

           

 In shallow shoals, English soles do it,                                                                                Gold fish in the privacy of bowels do it,                                                                          Let's do it, let's fall in love.                     Cole Porter

Falling in love is easy, staying in love with a worthy opponent is difficult as our divorce rates prove. Some of this incompatibility is due to mates having wildly different interest in sex, affection, attention and respect.

remember the fig leaves

Let's look at some of the influences to our views of sex through the ages. Timothy Egan, who walked across Europe, points out the revelation he had on his journey:

As saturated as this walkway is with the artistic and spiritual glories of Christianity, it is also thick with evidence of a confused and conflicted view of sexuality.                                                                                 Timothy Egan   A Pilgrim to Eternity

Amazing, isn't it, that we even have to wonder about other people's sex lives. Humans are a curious sort and comparisons are odious but still there is this buzz about "am I normal"? Part of this is due to our upbringing, our religion or lack thereof, our parents, our lovers, and our view of ourselves.  I'm putting the focus on this country because this nation has some rather strange notions about sex, sexuality, ageism, body image, women and human interactions. 

It's only Premarital sex if you're going to get married.   Anonymous

I was raised Catholic and told to believe that sins could render me ruined in "thought, word and deed" if I thought about sex, requested it and then did it. Three with one blow! So like many a girl before me I had confused notions about my body and sex. It was certainly not presented to me as good, natural, comforting and down right fun. It was especially scary and dangerous for young women.

My mom as a baby

This is brought home to us right now because of the horrible restrictions approved by the Supreme Court. Sadly, many states are restricting a woman's right to privacy with her doctor, and a woman's right to choose if she is willing or not, or even able to carry a fetus to term. Of course one of the reasons for these restrictions of women's rights is that many churches became overly involved with the pressure to control women's bodies, They definitely wanted many babies--- but only from a married woman.  Back in the 50's some of our neighbors were encouraged by the Catholic Church to use the 'rhythm method'. My mother often said, "I had six beautiful children by the rhythm method".  In other words, a fairly useless method of birth control.  In our neighborhood many women gave birth to as many as 12 children. Rarely do owners let horses propagate that often. Puppy mills use this form of torture on these poor female dogs. Guess they wanted the same for these women. No concern to their mental or physical well being. This cruelty ruined many lives and basically led to poverty. However, one baby after another  means more people in the church equals more revenue. The Mormons are supremely guilty of this way to thinking if not more so: women as brood mares, cattle are better treated in the many wives, sister wives, etc.  Also, birth control was forbidden which is as nutty as it comes for a young woman or any woman. The emphasis was on destroying choice of whether or not to have a child was their mission from on high and Planned Parenthood became enemy #1. Just know this isn't about love of women and children, in fact if you think about it, quite the opposite.

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.      Matt Groening

Imagine if we reversed that statement and men could have babies and no birth control allowed, no privacy from their doctors.  Do you honestly believe there would such restrictions in place for the men? Would they put up with a baby each year? 

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were twenty-two with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience.                            Shelley Winters

I believe there's a link from our warped perception of what we consider is OK for visuals about human bodies. Think about it, in the U.S, our movies will allow all kinds of horrific graphic violence, torture, murder, blood and gore to be widely shown to the viewing public--- and will only acquire a PG 13 rating. But, God forbid, if a breast, pubic hair, or a penis is on the screen even for seconds, then that movie automatically gets a "R" restricted rating. Don't want our children exposed to the human body.  As a parent I always said I wanted our boys restricted from the most putrid and graphic violence, however [I still think] naked bodies were fine and educational for them to view. This is apparently down right un-American. 

When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch.                                                               Bette Davis

In the good old US of A there are places in this country that won't allow a mother birth control or to breast feed her baby in public. Think: a baby nourishing herself from her mother's breast is one of the sweetest expression of love we can see. Yet, bottle feeding in public is not restricted, therefore it has to be the bare breast.  I remember the contortions I'd go through while breast feeding: throwing the blanket over the other shoulder and hoping I could avoid the frowns of disgust from the [mostly men] who couldn't let their eyes be sullied by my lactating breast.  How does this honor women and babies? 

Here's from a song I wrote called 

Be a Lady                                                                 Susan R. Grout 2022 all rights reserved

A lady never wrinkles, a lady never farts        

A lady never has grey hair or dresses up like tarts

She’s never bawdy, never rowdy, raunchy or rough

She never swears, snorts, burps or appears tough

These results so boring, I soon was snoring

But that’s the price to pay to be a lady. 

Could someone, anyone, give me an example of rules and restrictions we currently have for men that are even somewhat equivalent to the restrictions we have for women? I'm as eager as the next person to have a bounty of $20,000 on the men who rape, impregnate women, batter women, children and babies and fail to step to their responsibilities or suffer any consequences. How about it, we even these things out. Bounties on men, starting now. Fair is fair. Oh and they might have to drive to other states to escape this, poor dears.

susansmagicfeather 2022 Susan R. Grout