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| We are very good at celebrations and owe this to Mom and Dad |
Today would have been our parents, Bob and Jane's, 69th Wedding Anniversary. Up in the heaven of my imagination, can't you just see them dancing the fox trot with Dad cracking wise making Mom laugh? Happily for all of us, she was not only amused by him but grew to admire and love him. When first they met, he was twenty one and she twenty and Mom was initially put off by his wildness. She was working in downtown Chicago as an artist and he was in the family's Chicago restaurant and they met through mutual friends. She told him he drank too much and more or less dismissed him. The man was persistent and soon his other shining qualities won her over. He had out grown the goofy, gawky stage and his kindness, intelligence, wit and business acuity became more of a draw. Mom decided to take a chance on him and despite WWII they married on December 11, 1943. Thanks to our devoted and caring sister Trisha I have an 8 x 12 of their wedding photo hanging on our wall. Thanks again Trish!
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| Here are a few of us at another wonderful celebration |
Growing up in the chaos of his family*, it's a semi miracle that our Dad was so loyal and true. That was certainly not the role model our paternal Grandparents projected. He must have learned faithfulness and trustworthiness from the unfaithful and the not trustworthy. Sometimes people do that, but most commonly and unfortunately they become similar and not the whole opposite of their parents. I have worked with plenty of adults that have grow up in chaotic and/or violent homes who became organized, responsible and wonderful peacemakers despite the odds against this. Our Dad's flaws were the anxiety and that he studiously avoided conflict to the point of withdrawal in our home life. Hence the famous, "you're punished" refrain whenever Mom would ask him to help with disciplining us. For all I know, I'm still punished.
Lots of the credit for a stable home life and marriage goes to our Mother. Mom had good role models. By contrast to his chaotic upbringing [Dad chose to live with his mother who benignly neglected him] Mom's family, while not exactly peaceful [Grandpa Webster: "Florence if I say white, you say black, ..."] was stable and loving. One strike against her was she had six kids under the age of ten. Some people thrive with many children, this was not our Mom. Another reality was Dad--- though he was an excellent provider, he was fairly useless with the kids until we were old enough to work along side him. Mom managed to keep us in line, drive us to and fro, provide meals for us and copious relatives, and on rare occasions, able to produce something artistic for herself.
So, simplistically, Dad was the fun and the workhorse and Mom was the drill Sargent and the ballast for the family.
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| Sibs plus cousins |
I seem to be skipping over all of the fun times we had as a family and there were many. Most of it centered around food, singing, the extended family, the lake and the few vacations that we took. It was/is a loving family and we have to credit Bob and Jane for creating a wonderful crew. I feel especially grateful for the transformation that Mom did after Bob died in 1987. She became funny and fun to be with, kinder and very generous. Yes, we do have a lot to honor. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!
*see one of the early posts on Anxiet and Drinking...
susansmagicfeather copyright 2012 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved
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