Do Domestic Terrorism and Domestic Violence Have Anything in Common

 I was in tears. As I and the world watched the violence of that angry mob storming the Capitol building. They were attempting to undo our Democracy egged on by the president, to deprive us of our lawfully elected Joe Biden of his presidency. Yes, I was appalled, sickened but frankly not surprised.  The soon to be ex-president had been fanning the flames of violence throughout his entire four years in office. "Beat up the reporters!"  Rep. Norma Torres of California who was in the building getting ready to certify the election said, "It's horrible that this is America, the United States of America and this we have to go through this because Trump called his homegrown terrorists to come to the Capital and invalidate people's votes."

It's very important to see that this terrorism can begin at home, it is domestic violence. I'm betting that most of the violent protesters have either been victims of domestic violence or, more likely, the perpetrators of domestic violence.  It wasn't until this episode that some of the presidents most stalwart, impassioned apologists [Lindsay Graham saying, "enough is enough"] were now the victims and then feeling the terror of the domestic violence scene unfolding before them. There is terrible fear that accompanies domestic violence and with that gut punch these Republicans finally, finally came to their senses. They experienced first hand what it means to encourage and support a man who has no empathy and will do anything, tell any lie, to get what he wants. He encouraged violence and conspiracy theories and lie after lie to undo the votes of the people and it did come to this. 

I wrote this in 2017:

The Anti-Defamation League’s Center on Extremism has found that right-wing extremists — including white supremacists, sovereign citizens and militia members — were responsible for 74% of the 372 extremist-related murders from 2007 to 2016. And of the 45 police officers killed by domestic extremists since 2001, 34 were killed by right-wing extremists.

So where are the much needed anti terrorism efforts to combat this ugly situation now? Clearly with a right wing, conspiracy believing, unprincipled man in the White House, exactly nowhere.

These numbers demonstrate the importance of promoting anti terrorism efforts in the U.S. The new office of anti terrorism must be broad enough to tackle the wide range of extremist beliefs that have taken root in our country. We also must address the proliferation of radicalizing materials that are readily available to anyone with an Internet connection. These screaming, blatantly false proclamations have embolden both white supremacists (Dylan Roof, for example) and all forms of right wing extremists alike.

The reason this is so very important is that the whole world witnessed on a grand scale the ugliness of the mob breaking into the Capitol building on 1/6/21. The leader bully, the president, encouraging other bullies to break the law and foul up our democracy.  From what I read, some of the cops were taking selfies with the thugs at this "rally".  This also might suggest that some of the more frightening and egregious bullies have drifted into the ranks of our police force. There does need to be some accounting and weeding out of the bullies and abusers.

I wrote this in early 2016:

Sad but true bullies [the abusers] revel in being on top, frightening people and creating confusion so they can seize the upper hand. [Think Vladimir Putin and Trump] They've learned that bullying has its own rewards: people become frightened and tend to do what the abuser says or wants. A really funny example of this is the dentist in "Little Shop of Horrors".  Steve Martin's over the top portrayal of a sadistic dentist, terrifying his lab assistant. He's a good example of an abusive bully and this certainly strikes a chord [a poor pun]. However, he perfectly skewers the stupidity of being a bully and he certainly gets his just desserts in the end. In real life abuse is anything but funny.

This is why yesterday my thoughts turned to all the women I worked with over the years who were victims of Domestic Violence.  What was proven true: until a person is witness to the extremists and subsequently threatened by them, they tend to make light of the situation that anyone who is a victim of abuse and lies [especially women and children] suffers. Now they know, domestic violence and domestic terrorism have the exact same roots.

Our country is going to need more than debriefing and soon. The further we get away from this horror the sooner the bullies of our world will descend on "oh, come on, it wasn't that bad..." In my thirty years as a therapist, I heard this comment over and over again from the abusers. Minimizing to absolve themselves is commonplace and perpetuates the crimes. 

Let's learn from this example of minimizing the lies of our president, ignoring what could happen when we elected four years ago  a person who has a history of cheating, bilking innocent people, deceiving people, outright grifter and a very immoral person. That man doesn't understand that truth is imperative. Character does count. 

 

Let's heal together, the New Year is still coming. It is January 20th, 2021.

susansmagicfeather  copyright but go ahead and share this if you'd like, 2021 Susan R. Grout