The Balancing Act

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.        Plato

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.  Victor Hugo

The very balanced and well loved Rufus T. Firefly

Time and the lush gift of being able to spend the day the way I want, adds a certain sparkle to life. I'm the most fortunate of women because I enjoy this gift quite frequently. For some this can only happen with retirement, for others of us it can happen every day, especially those of us who love our jobs, our families, our friends, our pets, our dwelling and ourselves. I'm not going to pretend that this is my blissful state each day because life has a funny habit of throwing enormous kinks into what we desire--to have everything go our way.

This weekend would be an example of that. I always cherish time with my husband because he's only home for the weekends and lives in another city during the week. So we have a lovely homecoming. We usually start off having a great meal and time to talk face to face and enjoy each other's company over good food. That got disrupted abruptly when my niece, called to say "the brand new baby [my great niece] and her parents were on their way to the emergency room off island." Zoom, I packed a bag. While I was anxiously awaiting whether we were going to be on the next ferry, I made dinner.

Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.     Benjamin Franklin

When I'm upset, I cook. Something simple? No, never. I cook something complex enough that I have to pay rapt attention to what I'm doing. [In this case it was a prawn fettuccine with a lovely cream, wine, herb sauce plus blanched and then cooked green beans with a garlic butter reduction.] Crazy? Well, for others, it works for me to roar back to the here and now. Very Zen. I wish I could report that along with this intensity of cooking which absorbed me that I was as lovely to my mate as the dish I was concocting. Sadly, not so. Can't have everything: he got a great meal but a very troubled, preoccupied spouse. Happily for me he is patient, tolerant and not easily offended. Oh, and he loves me unconditionally. He is remarkable in that he does well in the tempests of life, some of which I create. Somehow he manages despite his bifurcated life to keep things in perspective, in balance.

Know thyself.   Plato

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.        Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have learned through a lot of hard internal and external work to create a  more balanced life. As I think I have explained in previous posts I believe that there is a continuum of people's reactions to life. Some are like calm Labs, some like amped up terriers. I'm tend to be more of the terrier variety so I continually work toward serenity and a peaceful attitude. I know myself: I'm hypersensitive to gore, violence, misogynists, racism, cruelty to animals and people, exploitation of the poor, weak and underprivileged. So I really limit the news, and topical information. I can read it, but it is hard to listen to though I do to keep myself informed. I stopped watching network news when Ronald Reagan got re-elected. [I still contend he had Alzheimer's throughout his second term.] This helps me to cope with the counseling practice by not overloading my ears and eyes. Mr. G always enjoys it when I go away because he rents movies I'd never consider watching, usually they have war in the title. War and gore-- I'm against it.

Though I was prepared for any eventuality that week end, I didn't have to go off island to the emergency room. Sadly, the baby ended up at Children's Orthopedic. We are all still very concerned but she couldn't be in better hands. Letting go is easier when the experts are handling things.

Enviable balance takes loads of practice

You have to study a great deal to know a little.  Charles de Secondat

Just today my balance got tested again, this time by a snow storm. I'm in the country, only three measly miles from town and I'm from Chicago, use to driving in the snow. So seeing as there were only a couple of inches of snow at my house, I set out. My road became increasingly snowy [6" or so] but I figured it was too late and near impossible to turn back. "Wish that I had thrown the chains into the truck" I muttered as I drove along the gorgeous road at 4 MPH. I made it up the first hill congratulating myself all the way and then when I was gently driving down the second steep hill, behold! an enormous truck was stuck at the bottom. I had to put on my brakes and yes, I did go skidding into the ditch. However, it was my great luck that with that enormous truck, helping the driver, was the local tow truck and its friendly owner. Instead of getting mad or frustrated ["I would've made it if he hadn't been in the way..."] I jumped out of the truck and promptly slipped on the snow and landed on my hip. More Lucille Ball than ballerina, I picked myself up and gave into the inevitable. I walked uphill for a signal and contacted all my clients, explained what happened, and canceled all of the appointments. Then I kibitzed with the tow truck owner [which I'm sure he really enjoyed], and he easily extricated my truck from the ditch, parking it by our mailboxes near the main road. Problem solved.

Perhaps maturity has raised it's ugly head. [I certainly hope so--I'm in my sixties.] The truck in the ditch, didn't phase me one bit. I have laryngitis today and probably should have canceled my clients anyway. But I'm stubborn and determined. If I give my word I'll be somewhere, I show up. Since I couldn't show up I walked the mile home to my house in the breathtakingly beautiful snow. A day at home with my cat, books, hot chocolate and soup, watching the snow pile up. Not too bad. It's going to be a good day.

susansmagicfeather copyright 2012 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved