You're only young once but you can be immature forever. Germaine Greer
There are no old people any more, you are either wonderful for your age or dead. Mary Poole
It's no secret that I've aged, I live in a small town and everyone I used to consider old is now dead. Years ago at a New Year's eve party a bunch of us in our 30's and 40's were lamenting that some of the 'old timers' [who I just realized were only in their mid sixties or early seventies] were starting to die off. These people in my town were salt of the earth, kind, good people and real amusing characters.
One of my favorite characters, Marge, was from a family that lived in our town for generations. Then, due to her age, her sons and daughter moved her into a nursing home nearer to them, sadly, quite a ways away. This older woman Marge was glorious. She used to set out a chaise longue in front our local drug store, where she worked part time, adorned with her ruby red lipstick, her seasonal clothes and earrings ["it must be Christmas time if Marge has on her bells and holly."] Marge routinely would greet everyone in town. She could play at parties a vigorous honky-tonk piano and held her nose when she laughed. Marge reminded me so much of my Grandma Florence who was fun, fun, fun. Both these gorgeous women were portly and seemingly unconcerned about the extra padding they'd acquired over the years. That just wasn't in their radar.
Sadly most women I know are overly focused on their bodies, size, shape and limitations. Take me for example. This morning I woke up convinced I'd gained several pounds since Thanksgiving and I was stewing about it. With trepidation I hopped on the scale only to see that my weight was exactly what it always is and I hopped off smirking at my silliness. Now, if I had gained these fictious pounds I honestly would have been perturbed and a bit discouraged. Foolish but true. Would Marge or Grandma Florence ever, in their wildest dreams, be so overly concerned about a few pounds? Not on their lives. And they lived good long lives.
Most of the people in my generation are appalled that we have limitations with aging. When we get together we discuss these pesky aches and pains as if we deserve a refund. No! Let's sue! Rarely does the talk of gratitude enter into our discussion of being alive, surprised we've lived so well this long. We need conversations about our latest curiosities, of how to live fully and plans for how we're going to enrich this world. Open hearts and open minds can help towards aging well.
I'm listening to Becca Levy's book Breaking the Age Code, her research is about how negative perceptions about aging seriously affect how we age. As Levy did in her study, she had all the participants respond to this question: "Ask yourself what are the first five words that come to you about aging?" If the words you came up with are all negative words and views, oh oh. You better change your attitude, it can definitely negatively affect how you age.
All those years ago the old timers didn't have the quality of life we have now and they definitely weren't obsessed with fitness. They were working too hard on making a living: farming, logging, running a business. They laughed heartily at joggers, ate mostly unprocessed food and tended to walk everywhere. They expected to age and to have fun along the way, at least most of them did.
I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that happened to someone else. George Carlin
At least wrinkles don't hurt. Terry Hiroto
Imagine my surprise when I realized that the physical limitations in my case were not going to vanish without surgery. I have arthritis and it is certainly a limitation but thankfully it's not fatal. Because of it I had my first hip replaced ten years ago and that was a dandy decision. Recently I had to have my other hip replaced with hardware because that hip was cranky, keeping me from hiking and causing me abundant pain. It's been a blessed relief to be out of pain. However, the mirror is starting to bug and insult me, I say to myself, "at least wrinkles don't hurt." But, where is that portrait of Doriana Gray now that I could use it? As my sainted mother said, "out of these eyes is a 35 year old woman." Now, sincerely, I'm joking because as a grandmother of four young adults how ridiculous would it be for me to obsess about lovely youthfulness when I'm surrounded by lovely youthfulness.
