SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON FAMILY AND SAVED LETTERS

 

Zach can be fun, at our Mom's Memorial

Zach's family ten years ago

The letters in my files were from the sons who were starting their lives after college. Our oldest son, Zach was a man of few words. During college in one letter he requested funds for something he was interested in doing. After the request for money he said, "I realize that you'd like to hear more but..." So be it. It made me chuckle. Zach, since that era, has frequently written very lovely cards for mother's day, father's day and birthdays to me and my husband. Always a treat.

Josh, years ago, holding his newborn son

Our son Josh went fishing in Alaska after college and vividly described the beauty and many experiences that fishers have. In one adventure, he was wrestling with 60 pound salmon in precarious weather. He described other indelible scenes like fishing with humpback whales for company. Other  stories were tales of his travels after college. Josh reported absolutely hair raising events---like the mother-shocking-incidents he described in Greece, involving a huge motorcycle he rented. He took to riding around the twisty, dangerous Greek roads at top speed. He was 6,000 miles away and there was nothing we could do about our terror here at home. Besides, by the time the letters arrived, he was on to his next adventure. 

The award for most letters written to me were the tender, love filled letters written by my mother and when he retired also from my dad. Interestingly, mom in real life was not all that demonstrative or cuddly, but on paper she would express her deep feelings, love, encouragement and sometimes fears for me. Our mother was widowed at 65 years and the shock reverberated off the page of how she was left to forge ahead after their 44 years marriage. I felt saddened yet honored to receive her outpourings of grief. Now I know how truly young 65 was and discovered how loving and tender was her relationship to my father. Interestingly, mom became much more fun to be around after she picked herself up from the hard work of grieving. She then became the funny, outspoken woman she always was. Turns out she was overshadowed by my very charismatic father.

WWII airplanes in New Orleans museum

Sally's and Trisha's packets of letters that they took home after Mom's memorial, contained the letters written in WWII from our Dad to our Mom. They were filled with his passionate love and longing for our mother. Dad was stationed in the "worst theater in the Pacific---Okinawa." He never let on that this was his nightmare experience. Instead he told us far fetched tales. He claimed he "dug latrines for two years." Instead of depression, fear and anguish, his letters were filled with humorous incidences and the comical people he'd met in the Navy. My father and mother were truly just a little bit affectionate and never overtly demonstrative with their love in front of us. What a treat it was for all of us to hear how deeply smitten Dad was for our mother! Oh, how our mother cherished those letters. And now we get to be delighted with these hand written missives.

The sisters

My sisters have been well represented in these folders, with years of outpouring of love and affection. You should envy me for having such talented, smart and devoted sisters. All of us have written many songs and two of us have written books, soon to be three of us. Especially in our early twenties and thirties when raising out children we would reach out by mail. Many of you will laugh at this but back in the day the telephone was a luxury and a call expensive to those who didn't have fortunes. Letters were a necessity if you wanted to keep in touch. And oh the tales and surprises and grief and joy that would come  in an envelope. My sisters most lovingly expressed their thoughts on what was current in their lives. The best ones were funny, and always loving, supportive and complementary. I do love these sisters.

My Niece, my sister missing from the above picture, my nephew, and three grandnieces

Among the letters to my husband and I, were from our lovely niece. These letters described her family of four's adventures in Taiwan. We missed this little family and especially the little girls. It was delightful to reread them all. We were overjoyed when the Hu McClure family decided to settle on our island. Great company! 

Granddaughter holding a letter

Friends enjoying a letter

I cherish so many of these letters that I can today hold in my hand and laugh or weep over. It's both touching and beautiful. I have decided to start writing letters to my family once a month just because. I'm hoping some of these letters will be eventually meaningful for them. If I hear back that's fine but what I truly desire is that my family gets to hold something in their hand that pours forth my love.  These real feelings just aren't the same when expressed in an email or text. It takes a piece of paper to make it literally more tangible and enduring.

Give the old lady a thrill, write
 

susansmagicfeather 2026 Susan R. Grout

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON RAISING SONS

The best letter writer by far was my mom

 I found this old blog post that I'd never finished. It inspired me to write. It also started me on the road to purging some old files.  Ah, but I'm sentimentalist and saved many letters and cards from my entire family for many moons. I'm not alone in this project. My mom was a secret sentimentalist and saved our drawings and some of my letters from camp at Lake Windego. "Dear Mom, all the other kids get letters every day and I get none! Write soon..." Okay, I was 10 years old and, in her defense, she had five kids at home.

After she died in 2010,  we had a grand memorial. Rather than sitting around, my siblings and I cleaned up her "aerie." We found so many little treasures and a vast amount of letters she saved. We decided to split up the many letters and each of us six kids took home a packet that contained letters, drawings and pictures. Our job was to read, or save, or toss.

For the past several hours I've had the pleasure and privilege of going through three big files of family letters, including my share of the packet of letters that mom saved. Reading these treasures from our families' combined history found me sometime in tears, sometimes laughing. Truly, most of the time I spent thinking about the family member and then missing the authors of these delightful missives. In my packet there were letters to my mom filled with gratitude from all of us. We told tales of ordinary life pleasures, like the joy of raising little ones, perils of raising sons, the funny things that small children do and the delightful events of celebrated holidays when we siblings and our families would get together. For many years, none of my siblings and I had much money and we lived great distances apart. So those letters back and forth were cherished.

The favorite letter that my mom saved from me was written in the '80's. I had to read it aloud to my husband who needed to share in the... joy? From the letter:

My mentor Laurie and I were asked to speak at conference in Victoria on the subject of 'Children of Alcoholics.' This was quite a thrill and we got a stand ovation. That was about all we got for our speech...except, they paid for our hotel rooms. Laurie took her son Tyghe and I had Zach and Josh with me, the boys got their own room. Since we were going to be without a car, we asked to stay in Victoria proper, and oh, was that a mistake. We were right in the thick of the bar district during the full moon and the day the unemployment checks came in the mail. Grown men howled from 10pm until 2am, revved their cars and had fist fights approximately right under our window.  At about 1 a.m. I hear this drunk yelling up "jump! jump!" and piercing the night, over the din below comes a recognizable voice saying, "How much will you give me?" It was Joshua. I furious and indignant. I leapt out of bed, rushed down to the boys room to find him leaning out the window, pleasantly bantering with the scene below. Naturally I lost it, and growled all kinds of reproachment to the boy. His reply? "You didn't say we couldn't." True, one doesn't think to tell the children, "Now don't yell out the window to the drunks..."

The next day when I was only slightly less angry I said to Josh, "If you think I got angry last night imagine what your Dad would have done." To which  he answered, adding insult to injury, "If Dad was here I never would have done it."

Several paragraphs later in the letter: "We are now well and fine. However, Thursday night Zach was jumping on a trampoline and hurt himself badly enough that he had trouble driving home. I put him in a hot bath...and he almost passed out. Our neighbor (he's an EMT) came over on his tractor and said he couldn't see any damage but we decided to take Zach to the doctor the next day. Meanwhile Dick is picking up Josh and his friend from school. When driving down the road, suddenly a shot rings out. The rear passenger window is shot out and Josh starts yelling in pain. D not knowing what's going on, turns the car around and roars to the Sheriff's department. Fortunately Josh is more scared than hurt, but the window crumbles, as temper glass will, and falls into our brand new car. Josh had quite the bruise and fortunately we were taking Josh to an Orthopedist the next day for his knees.  After the cortisone shots in his knees, I had Dr. Woo look at the pellet bruise on his back and while he was at it, examine Zach's muscle on his back. Pellet wound for Josh and pulled muscle for Zach. Quite sincerely at the end of the doctor visit, Dr. Woo looks and me and says, "You don't have any more sons I hope."

Happily our sons matured and through the years we've gotten many wonderful cards, phone calls and even letters that I cherish from our sons.

I have an idea, would you consider indulging me and writing any funny stories of raising your sons or daughters. I'd love it and believe everyone needs a good laugh.

Give the old lady a thrill, write 

susansmagicfeather 2026 

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON CHANCE ENCOUNERTS

Spring flowers on Mt. Young

 It seems that sometimes serendipity is floating in the air. It's hard to prove this phenomena and yet I try. Some scoff (behind my back) and some just look at me curiously. But here's a few examples of recent little surprises that have delighted me.

My husband and I went for a walk up Mt. Young and when we got to the top along came a party of 10 hikers. My husband heard and noticed that one of the young women in the group had a pronounced brogue. He asked her where she was from. "I'm from Ireland, as is my sister over there." "That's so nice that you've arrived on this lovely spring day." I said. They told us, "We were in Vancouver for a half marathon," she explained, "and we decided to come to the states and see your beautiful island." Then she mentioned, "The rest of us are from Australia and England."  We chatted for a while and then the woman with the lovely brogue noticed that my husband's T shirt had a logo on the front from Lahinch Surf Shop. She exclaimed, "Where did you get that shirt?" and my husband said, "This was my good friend Brad's shirt, he bought it in Ireland when he and his wife traveled there many years ago. His wife gave away, at Brad's memorial, all the many shirts Brad collected from their travels."  Another woman said, "I know that shop it's on the west side of Ireland near where I live!" He then turned around to show the back of the shirt with a huge logo of Lahinch Surf Shop. They proceeded to take pictures of the back of his shirt. We all laughed at the coincidence and then we talked about Ireland and added that my husband's grandfather was born there as was my grandmother, Gertrude Byrne. One of the young woman in the group said that Byrne was her last name. I said, "You never know, we could be relatives, ha." We then told them where some of the bright spots were on our island and pointed the way to a good restaurant that they might enjoy. We left and went down to our car. I positively glowed with appreciation of the tiny special things that can happen in an ordinary day in May.

Interestingly, a couple of years ago--- in that exact same spot, we had a similar occurrence. We hiked, with my brother and sister-in-law Jim and Colleen, up to the top of Mt. Young.  We were telling them, how one of the men on the island, who is in his 90's, hikes up there every day. That amazed them, but nothing compared to what came next. Up walked the nonagenarian who we were just talking about!  He pleasantly greeted us and by the way, he was not out of breath. We introduced our travelers from Vermont and our friend said, "Oh, I lived in Vermont many years ago." They exchanged pleasantries about that beautiful state when he added, "I started the Killington Ski Resort." It just so happens that our nephew lives several miles from that ski resort and skis there all the time. It was kind of jaw dropping experience and again, a delight.

The last little tale happened a couple of weeks ago. I'd been working on a booklet for our grandson which I filled with stories from his birth to his soon to be graduation. I went to the marvelous printshop on the island to pick the booklet up which now had been bound, at long last. It was months in the creating and rendering and I was quite pleased with all of the pictures that I'd found to accompany the text. (It pays to keep journals!) I was walking out of the printshop, 

Silas and Lulu at Train Town

with the results of my efforts, so pleased and smiling with the little booklet in my hand. Then I got a call on my phone, it was the soon to be graduate, Silas.  What's interesting is that, to my knowledge, Silas had never called me before. We'd talked via FaceTime many times but the calls were always initiated by us. I was thrilled about the timing and answered enthusiastically. "Silas! What an incredible coincidence! I just finished picking up something I wrote for you..." "Yeah, yeah," he said, "I just need your address to send you a graduation announcement." He was so unimpressed by the marvelous timing and serendipity of the call. I am still tickled by him and his casual response.  We did manage to have a nice talk about his life at school, who he was dating and his classes.

I guess what I'd like to underline with an exclamation point is that life can surprise you, delight you and leave you hugging yourself with the chance encounters.

Be aware and amused at all times, it brings sparks of joy to unusual encounters.

Twins visiting: surprise!

susansmagicfeather 2026 Susan R. Grout

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON CHOOSING SIDES

 

The world can feel comfortable and secure if you believe that you've chosen, what you consider to be, the right side. But wonder if that side was based on deceit and lies? Wonder if that side is not interested in your  well being.

I read an article by Danny Westneat in the Sunday Seattle Times. He interviewed shocked farmers who are losing their farms. Westneat stated, "It looks like farmer's are starting to have some buyer's remorse." This is due to their best workers being thrown into detention centers (aka prisons). These workers are good people who never had any marks against them. The farmers were told by the current administration that only "the worst of the worst" were going to be targeted. Then the current administration, T at the helm, said to his constituents, and the ICE people "arrest them all." And they have.

Unfortunately, according to social media, the comments have been very much toward, blame the victim. "You voted for this, work the fields yourself." etc. I wish they had added, "you put your trust in someone who has proven to be deceitful, come join us in the protests against this would be dictator." Blame the victim isn't necessary. They were bamboozled.

Sometimes people put their faith in someone who is found to be unfaithful, someone who is a narcissist and only cares about himself. When I was working in my counseling office I saw many people, especially women, being fooled into thinking that the person that they believed in and chose was worthy of their devotion. Then the beatings started and/or the verbal abuse. It is very difficult to extract yourself from someone you have literally bound yourself to and continue to have hope when "he said never again!" Kapow! It happens again.

Good silly fun

This is the position were are in as a country. Good, decent people believed a chronic liar and the consequences are devastating. He promised that they would have lower prices in the grocery story and at the gas stations. He promised no wars. He promised he'd only deport criminals. Basically he lied on all counts. 

Arrests of undocumented people with no criminal record is up eight fold. They, the farmers, and some MAGA people, chose the wrong side and have regrets, but they also have their dignity. To shame these people is not necessary, making fun of them not a smart tactic if you'd rather have unity. Inflatable frogs and dinosaurs make more sense that hate rhetoric.  My refrain now is come join us! Republicans and MAGA invited. 

People can make a huge difference via elections. This just happened in Hungary who got rid of their dictator, Victor Orban. Orban was at the helm for sixteen years. It took people taking to the streets and shouting for and demanding change and, of course, they voted. The change was a landslide for Peter Magyar who declared "together we overthrew the Hungarian regime, not by a little by by a lot." They got rid of cronyism and corruption. We can too, but we need cooperation by the ones who are bruised. I know in Minneapolis they started singing a song "It's Okay to Change Your Mind." This song was sung to the ICE people. I have no idea if it was effective or not but, what the heck, worth a shot rather than hurling the barrage of hatred which has not worked. I know that people standing together and supporting their neighbors has worked. I also believe brave Governors and mayors around the country have upped the repercussions for ICE by outlawing masks. Then these abusive ICE agents can be prosecuted for assaulting innocent citizens.

Greed and power define this administration

One of the methods that the people in the right wing media have tried to keep those of us who are protesting quiet, is by shaming us for "overreacting" to the current administration's illegal actions. They, Fox News and other right wing outlets, are calling it TDS: Trump Derangement Syndrome. I have a hard time thinking that anyone who is protesting against an unauthorized war is deranged. Isn't that protecting and fighting for the Constitution and the rule of law? Is it deranged to speaking out against T's stealing and bilking, last count, over 1.4 billion from the U.S. people and our programs? Isn't T being in the Epstein files, thousand of times and then lying about it deranged? Isn't T hiring Elon to fire many important government workers and then to decimate many of our vital social agencies deranged?  BTW Elon further enriched himself with government contracts. Finally, what is deranged is anyone going along with a president who you know very well in your gut is nuts. Many have pointed out his dementia and increasingly idiotic statements on his Social Media platform. Ironically, many were angry that Biden wasn't removed from office when he was declining. Trump is not only failing but continues to create havoc even wars! and is also a cruel, sick man. His goal all along was to enrich himself and his family and friends. 

Then he's slashed the many programs for the hungry and the poor. Who, really is deranged? 

We can be effective, passionate and angry with the objective that we are fighting for our Constitution and Truth. We must stand up for goodness, decency and honesty. Chose the side that cares about humanity.

susansmagicfeather 2026 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON WHY I'D RATHER HAVE DOLLY

 I feel passionate, as you might have noticed, that we must keep paying attention to what is happening in this country.

I'll get to Dolly, I promise, in a minute.

 

So much of our security, happiness, and stability rests on a robust economy, and also rests on our ability to elect people who actually care that our country is thriving. Do not confuse that with the billionaire class who have proven to be hopelessly addicted to their wealth and the power that goes along side of the money. Do the majority of billionaires care about the average citizen in this country? Sadly no.

 Isn't it hilarious the billionaire class took so many of us in with the notion that the billionaires were actually good for our economy!? That nonsense started in the Regan administration with the 'trickle down theory' which of course was a lie. Regan claimed that the people at the top of the food chain, (at that time they were just lowly millionaires) were going to generously help the working class with higher salaries, robust benefits and 401Ks. Guess what? That didn't happen then and it's certainly not happening now. Instead, cleverly they got many of the citizens in the U.S. to hate thy neighbor, especially those who were black or brown and to denigrate people who were homeless. This was a distraction. As you probably know by now, it was a gigantic ruse to fool people into distrusting the poor, the homeless and to fear the immigrant. Flagrant fiction folks! And what wonderful contribution have the preponderance of the billionaires done for this country? Nada. It's all investing in AI and who gets the benefits of that? Certainly not the working class. It's the very rich.

There are exceptions! There are terrific exceptions to the power and greed addiction. The prize winner of who has donated the most in the shortest time period goes to MacKenzie Scott. She has given away most of her Amazon shares in the past seven years. She hired a team that investigates and then funds worthy causes. She currently funds colleges, schools, LGBTQ+, racial equality, democracy and climate change. Hooray!

Warren Buffet is a fabulous and noteworthy philanthropist who has donated billions over a much longer period of time.

Both of the Gates, Melinda and Bill are important donors, especially in the world where few have given before. 

However, from a Forbes article I read, "women tend to give more faster."

There are lots of women who are quietly giving every single day to people and organizations across the country. One woman I admire is Taylor Swift who gives vast sums of money to Education (Education for Girls), Food Banks, Fire Departments, Feeding America, American Heart Association and $100K to families of shooting victims.  It's said that every town and city that she has performed in has benefited from her generosity. 

Then there is another star: Oprah Winfrey. Her donations are well over $400 million to various causes through her foundation.

Billie Eilish is also at work giving millions away. Plus she famously scolded the billionaires who don't/won't give to good causes. The billionaires are the ones are suffering from a hoarding addiction.

Reading to children is so important

The reason I starting writing this post was because I wanted to sent my love and admiration to Dolly Parton for many reasons. First and foremost I greatly admire Dolly's incredible charity work.  This is a woman who has single handedly given away billions and most of it to little children though the Dollywood Foundation. This charity of Dolly's focuses on education and literacy with the Imagination Library. This is just part of the good work she does, it's been every day since 1988.

Probably many of us have forgotten that Dolly contributed millions to the COVID-19 vaccine research and disaster relief. I am still grateful. I was very worried about all of us over 70 years old. Do you remember in 2020 the older folks were dropping like flies? Most of the  deaths occurred in the South, where there's high poverty rates, limited access to quality food and little health care available. Interesting that the current administration has it's emphasis on funding war, cutting services and monies for the poor while enhancing the billionaires of the world.  I believe that the current administration is purposely bilking our treasury and I know that this is against the law and our constitution. We the people demand a refund! Do I believe T and his minions will dutifully pay back the money they've swiped? No I do not.

 I wish we had some Dolly's, Oprah's, Taylor's and MacKenzie's in our current government. We need kindness, decency, enlightenment and generosity in our government. Sadly, instead we have completely unqualified people in the administration. An example would be RFK and his band of misguided anti-science people, out to eliminate vaccines.  Take measles, please! 1,500 cases currently in the U.S. Sad but true. 92% caused by lack of vaccines. Help us Dolly!

Currently in this administration we have corruption, deceit, incompetence and theft. How is it that most of the administration has made millions of dollars. Where are these funds coming from? I believe it's from bilking our government out of billions. Then they turn around and tell us they don't have money for health care or education. Is there anyone out there who actually believes that's true? What do they have plenty of money for? War! Argentina! Venezuela! Netanyahu! Ballrooms of Gold! Hidden Bank Accounts in Off Shore locations! This is clearly corruption, and addiction to power and greed at it's finest.   

So why did we attack and then kill the very awful leader of Iran? He was a cruel dictator but if you do a simple comparison to our own president:

Very similar but without the turban

.

Happily our country has awakened! We are gathering in the millions, more than 8 million, last count at the NO KINGS  protest held on March 28th across the country. People rose up in a peaceful protest. Not one arrest throughout the protests. We vow to continue until there is a regime change in this country.

Keep up the good trouble for the regime change for our country! Even the Pope in his Holy Week homily has weighed in. He warned that there is no justification for declaring an unjust war. He said to remember "Jesus was a man of peace, love and caring." Those who created this war have done so against the Constitution, the wishes of our people and Congress. They have blood on their hands. 

Be inspire by the brave people of Minnesota, and now the diligent hero's who are spreading truth, love and insistence that we continue to protest until the corrupt ones are gone. Vote them out, show up and, if you can, give to the candidates who will stop the nonsense that's going on in Washington, D.C.

We all can't have Dolly, Taylor and Billie's talent but we can have their business skills, smarts, goodness and generosity. 

susansmagicfeather 2026 all rights reserved Susan R. Grout 

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST'S RED HOT TIPS

 

This beautiful photo was taken by Nate Ross

I self published a book through Barnes and Noble* on December 9.  We had a little ceremony at our library because I'd gotten so much help from Anthony, the librarian. I told the audience, the friends and family I'd invited, "It was so simple, all I did was push this little button on my computer and boom! it published a book." Ha ha. The reality is the book was in the works for many years. 

I started writing my ideas about my life and my counseling practice in a blog, susansmagicfeather.blogspot.com, in 2011. That blog is still ongoing. In the blog are stories, some autobiographical, some about the techniques I used in therapy sessions, some about why I became a psychotherapist. I wrote what interested me in life and what was helpful to my clients---what techniques worked and what didn't. It is still my sincere desire to continue helping people be happier and healthier.

Then the pandemic hit in 2020. Remember, at first we had no reassurance that people were going to survive the plague and no vaccines to prevent getting Covid. I kept thinking, "What's going to happen to all my work if I'm dead and gone?" So during the pandemic I reexamined the blog posts and selected the best ones, the ones most pertinent to my work as a counselor. I kept writing and rewriting my thoughts and ideas for a happier, healthier life. Then it became obvious that I was actually writing a book. The tips that are in the book, I believe, were helpful to my clients, and to me as well. They just might be helpful to anyone who reads the book.

Being a psychotherapist in a small town is different than being a therapist in a big city. For example, it was not unusual for my clients to stop me on the street to either arrange a meeting or just to chat. Sometimes clients would stop my husband in town and give him a check.  "Give this to your wife," they'd say, even though he hadn't a clue that I was seeing them. Apparently, they didn't care. Of course, confidentiality was imperative for me but the clients could make their own choices. 

My clients were great. They gave me hope, inspiration and kept me hopping. I had to constantly and diligently increase my knowledge because there weren't many other therapists to refer people to. I had to keep myself abreast of the newest and most effective techniques for the benefit of my clients.

Here's a recent slice of life in a small town. I was in a store and my sister saw me and was all excited that I'd gotten my book published. She exclaimed, "Aren't you telling everybody about the book?" The man who I'd been conversing with said, "What book?" So I told him the title, Small Town Therapist's Red Hot Tips. Over in the corner of the store was a friend who'd overheard, sort of. He called over and said, "Red Hot Therapist?" We all laughed. I quickly repeated the correct title. In a small town that wasn't an unusual interaction.  Funny and joyful. Amen to small towns.

*If you'd like to obtain a copy of the book go to barnesandnoble.com and search for the title, Small Town Therapist's Red Hot Tips. 

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON CREATIVITY

In our dear county sometimes things change. People can be persuaded that nonsense is sensible, if you get my drift. It's the A with the I. In this post I will be curving a new verbal path that might require some translation but I am confident that my intelligent, kind and good readers will catch that drift, slide into it and enjoy it.

 Some people, who are not men, believe that men are the heads of the household and make all the decisions. That's fine except when said persons are in a very high position in---rhymes with--- the cream fort. Then some people also found that another person in the fort...is a-- rhymes with-- fire.  The fallout was goodbye to-- rowing your own personal boat. The sad truth is many of us worked long and hard for many years to get that-- rhymes with-- saw, passed for women's---rhymes with-- kites. ( See the picture below of two noble women in their nineties who fought the good fight.) Now it's possibly farewell to the "Affectionate Car Act," AKA Yourmama Care.  Please forget about your concerns about the-- rhymes with-- worth. The laws protecting the land, water, air, animals and us, are being-- rhymes with-- hut. Is this what all voters want for our future generations? Personally, I'm rather fond of our public lands, clean air and clean water.

Louise and Lee faithful heroes to all women, and people
and their rights

Currently, we are now getting a refresher course on when-- rhymes with-- proportion was illegal. In the old days, women--- rhymes with-- fried in attempts to end a pregnancy and that is sometimes the situation today. The women, and sometimes very young girls, in states where is no-- rhymes with-- proportion, have no choice to safely save themselves.  Where is our protection for equal rights under the law? That's the 14th Amendment to our constitution.

Let's reverse roles. Wonder if women were--rhymes with--tool, had the power of a cream fort behind them.  The husband comes to his wife and says, "I've been diagnosed with---rhymes with --humors.  Can I please get an operation to free myself from worry and pain?" The 'not man' coolly appraises him and says, "NO, that might interfere with my right to have more babies. Let nature take it's course!" That's the position all 'not men', were in until 1973 when they won the right to have a say over their own bodies. The right to privacy with their physician was a hard fought battle. Now in many states it's still a very hard fought battle. Don't give up!

Another truth: as we've seen---rhymes with--self-lightous people standing outside the-- proportion clinics, waving signs, harassing women. Ah, but where are these--rhymes with--bias, people when that child is born? They're no where to be found. Help that woman, or girl? They declare is not their problem. In fact, the R's are busy eliminating the very programs designed to help any mother and child. This is deemed necessary from the R 2025 Project, to generate more "American" births, you know, the ones the who are--rhymes with---sight. 

These people are actually only pro birth, not pro child. Couldn't we agree to shift the responsibility. WHO got that woman/girl pregnant? 

On that topic of men, especially young men, I had some experience with disseminating information about birth control. Many years ago (in the 1980s)  I was asked to talk to teens about the dangers involved with drugs and alcohol. Fortunately for me, this was well before the very dangerous drugs were in the high schools. Inevitably, the subject of girls drinking to excess would come up. Some boy would smirk and I would lead the discussion about the the responsibility of boys having, or attempting to have, sex with an impaired--rhymes with--hunk, girl. What about responsibility of possible impregnation? That certainly is one of the consequences of having unprotected sex. What about--rhymes with--cape?  I surprised them by stating the lowest incidence of teen pregnancies in the world-- at that time--- was in Japan. Also, at that time, the only form of birth control in Japan was the condom.  A hush fell in the room.  All those years ago no one, to my knowledge, was willing to speak to the obvious: it's clearly not just the woman who can do birth control, Japan proved that.

We need a refresher course in creating empathy in our country. Denmark does this and it's highly successful and it starts in childhood. That used to be the American way. Now there's people attempting to justify---rhymes with--caseism, ignoring the grossly unfair advantages given to people of wealth and allowing women, minorities and people of color to be discriminated against and even removed from this country. Empathy? None.

How I wish we had voted the rascals out! It is unbelievable that some in the country are  siding with the 'wanna be'--- rhymes with--- fixtator.  Do we really have to fall so much further. With the Democrats we mostly had hope, kindness, fairness and competence. That said, never doubt we can rise again. This country can become, again, the admired country. Remember, it was constant protests in the late 1960s and early 1970's that stopped the war in Vietnam. We took to the streets. 

Right now, we are as a country, very concerned about our new "leaders" who have a 'reverse Robinhood' philosophy. "There's nothing surer the rich get richer and the poor get poorer."

 

Don't just sit there, join a group, take to the streets, protest and fight for Democracy. 

susansmagicfeather 2025  Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

 I got inspired to write this post when I read that Lee had died just a year after Louise had died. These two admirable women lived in our small town for more than fifty years and they were active participants in the fights for truth, justice and the American way. How we loved their spunk and wisdom. They were first in line to help get good people elected and worked hard to urge all people to vote.

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON TWO WOMEN WHO FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT

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Small Town Therapist on What Happened to the SCOTUS?

 

During the Obama administration after Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died, the reason given for not allowing President Obama to nominate a new justice was insulting. Said Senator Mitch McConnell,  "It's too close to the election." It was nine months away. 

When Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg died during the Trump administration, the GOP announced that they were going to push ahead with a nomination immediately.  After Ruth died, the Republican senate approved a Supreme Court nominee ONE month before the election. The Republican hypocrisy produced the rage that so many of us felt. This was yet another demonstration of the Republicans complete lack of  integrity. Then Trump appointed Amy Coney Barrett, an ultra conservative member of the Federalist Society and a law professor at Notre Dame University. Gross unfairness and hypocrisy is what we faced and continue to face. The current Supreme Court's ultra conservativism is making a mockery of the constitution. For example, SCOTUS claimed, in effect, that the president is above the law. No, he is not. This is a cornerstone of the rule of law. This includes government officials and any leaders. It's to prevent abuse of power. No one is above the law. 

We used to trust the Supreme Court. We had a president who made excellent intelligent choices. Barak Obama chose Ketanji Brown Jackson, a brilliant legal mind. Then, with the Trump administration, we were given Amy Coney Barrett who was a big slap in the face and contrary to just about everything Ruth stood for. If that wasn't bad enough, we then were inflicted with Brett Kavanaugh, again by Trump. This man was accused of sexual harassment and, as is typical of the Republicans, the women were not believed. He is one of the justices who decreed that the president was immune from prosecution. The felon and pedophile will walk free. 

When Ruth Ginsberg was on the court, we had a group of excellent Supreme court judges, principled, courageous, fair, who fought for equal justice for all.  Now, what have the conservative members of the Supreme Court done? There's no preventing abuse of power and upholding justice. Trump is dangerous and creating hardships all over the country with his tariffs and his illegal deportations, in violation of the constitution. God help us, because apparently the Supremes won't.

susansmagicfeather 2025  Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON: MANHATTAN PROJECT BABIES FOR WHOM?

calm and peaceful is  goal

While reading the newspaper in the morning I found that I was talking out loud, grumbling. Then to my surprise, I started laughing.  Why, you ask? Because of the absurdity of what I was reading. The group of extreme right-wing men behind Project 2025, the Heritage Foundation, wants to start a 'Manhattan Project'. This project would  encourage families to have more babies. Ok, jeez.

Let's review who these men are and what they believe and stand for. Remember, these men, and the Trump voters, agreed to defund many agencies in the country that help women and families. They defunded hospitals, eliminated women's right to choose whether to have a baby or not, they have gone after Planned Parenthood as viciously, as if that organization was criminal, they have defunded Head Start and, absurdly, Public Television because they don't approve of Sesame Street. Are you laughing yet? 

You might be asking yourself if they are oblivious to the fools they are making of themselves.  Why, when they are making it impossible for only the affluent to afford to buy a home, do they want women to have more babies? Remember the minimum wage hasn't been raised in most of the country for 16 years and that glorious federal wage is---- $7.25  per hour.  Just try living on that. Would you then decide to have a baby? And, have you bought groceries lately?

Then there was the brilliant decision by the Trump administration to reverse Row vs Wade.  Many states like Texas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, South Dakota, South Carolina, Alabama, Indiana and Louisiana have criminal penalties for doctors aiding abortions. In some states this  applies to the doctors who are helping a mother who is in danger of losing her life to complications from her pregnancy.  Would you encourage your beloved wife, daughter, niece or granddaughter to get pregnant and have a baby in one of these states? Be honest, don't you see this is a serious threat to women and potential parents. If something should go wrong with her pregnancy, then what happens in these states? Nothing good.

As some of you know from reading my blog, I had a therapeutic abortion in a hospital in 1977. I was the grateful recipient of loving, lifesaving care from those doctors. It was very scary and hard. I was very sad, but I was also blessed and fortunate to receive the necessary care I needed. Today in the states mentioned above, women are literally dying due to fear of the current administration and/or state suing them or even jailing them. Sadly, the hospitals in those states are going along with that fear. 

Apparently, what the current administration wants is for women to be afraid. Families are grieving now because of the reversal of this law and, yes, women are afraid. In my case, had it been 1972 (instead of 1977) and our very wanted baby was dead inside me with no help from the doctors, I could have been one of those sad, sorry statistics.

huge cuts for mental health

The Republicans are big on blaming the current anxiety and fear in women and people around the U.S. as a mental health crisis. They blame it on anything but themselves. They have drastically cut the funds to help people in need.

Another example, besides the continual threats to women's health, is the frequent mass shootings. A typical response after these shootings by Republicans, the Trump administration and the Trump voters is to offer "thoughts and prayers."  To prove how important guns are, every time a good regulation is proposed on assault weapons the Republicans plead with the public, "the Second amendment, the Second Amendment!" They scream and cry, "they want to take our guns away!" Then the important, lifesaving regulation fails to pass.

No one, to my knowledge, points this out: when 'the right to bear arms' was adopted (December 15, 1791) the guns were muskets. No bump stocks, no assault weapons were even dreamed of.  They fired one shot. Those who scream for the right to have and use assault weapons which can fire hundreds of shots in moments, allow themselves to be convinced this is a good thing by the gun lobby. It's to sell guns. 

People, think! Isn't it true we have finally found the Weapons of Mass Destruction, weapons supported by the NRA. Slimy but true.  Why do people fall for this? Apparently they don't read the statistics. The U.S. has significantly more gun related deaths than any of the other developed countries. Are we trying for "the worst in the world for massive deaths due to guns"? Is that the goal? Think of the grieving families who have lost their children to guns. We should be crying Never Again! It worked in Australia. 

You know as well as I do that the cuts in government services were draconian. We all know that those cuts were done to give tax breaks to billionaires. It does, as I write this, sound like an elaborate joke. Totally a reverse Robin Hood maneuver: steal from the poor and give to the rich. Oh the little billionaires, they just want to go to Mars.  Truly, if they are paying for the trip to Mars themselves, this is something I could eagerly embrace. Go! Please. Leave this earth. Just don't come back.

I am a liberal

We who respect and love this earth and its people could start the long slow healing that our poor earth needs after this disastrous administration. No, it would not thrill all the angry, easily led Trump supporters who apparently still believe cuts for Medicaid, Social Security, and cuts to the clean air and water programs are fine, if their leader says it's good for them. But the rest of us would breathe a sign of relief if he, all his minions and the billionaires were residing on Mars.

To sum up, the Heritage Foundation's Manhattan Project wants babies, but only certain kinds, i.e., color. They do want families to have mommies who stay at home, but only heterosexual couples are allowed to raise babies. 

being safe and cheerful surrounded by sisters

So, what's amusing here? It’s ironic that they want these special families to become like some Mormons and Catholics: to go forth and propagate a lot. Yet, certainly, this cannot be modeled on Musk who has fourteen children (by many wives) and is looking for more. Or this cannot be modeled on their president who is a notorious philanderer, has cheated on  his wives, cheated the country with his continual lies, graft and corruption. This is the man that they supported as our leader in chief. I mean thief. 

As for this project, hit the eject button.