Better

Increasingly I feel the need to do better. I realize this is not a contest or a race, yet facing up to my shortcomings is in my daily thoughts. Rather than just relying on the internal criticism that goes on inside me, I'm listening to the cheering coach that stokes all the positive thoughts.  I want the coach voice right now to  push me  and encourage me to be a better person.

This is not foreign territory, after all I was a psychotherapist for over 30 years. On a daily basis I encouraged, cajoled, rallied my clients to be their best possible selves. So why wouldn't I turn that spotlight on myself and my behavior.

As a person: 
In my life I've had tremendous advantages, a good loving family that supported me with all of the basics of shelter, food, clothing and love. Also as a child then as a young adult through a fine education, comfortable housing, excellent food, stimulating family conversations, music, laughter and good role modeling. This wasn't just lucky, my parents came through the depression, both had some very rough experiences growing up and wanted a better life for their six children. My parents and most of my relatives valued children, loved the family and it was actually  fun getting  together for special holiday meals which frequently ended in singing around the piano. The hard times were weathered with grace and the good times were filled with laughter and warmth. I realize I'm very fortunate. 

Nobles oblige, I feel the need to be a better person, particularly because of these advantages.  I want to be the one who brings joy, warmth, love, kindness, wisdom and truth to all my interactions. I sometimes fall so short, being impatient and sometimes down right rude when frustrated. I have learned when rude, wrong or impatient to promptly apologize. Not always easy, to say the least, but I do it.

As a blogger:
My sister Sally says this blog is my "Senior project." True and amusing because in the words of my beloved Grandma, "I'm a citizen Senior".  The assignment I've given myself is to give away all of the hot therapy tips I had for my clients in this very blog for free. Here are a few of the posts.

 Examples: 
 https://susansmagicfeather.blogspot.com/2018/10/cruise-control.html,  
https://susansmagicfeather.blogspot.com/2016/11/when-anxiety-is-running-kentucky-derby.html
https://susansmagicfeather.blogspot.com/2012/06/swept-away-it-wasnt-my-fault.html
https://susansmagicfeather.blogspot.com/2012/02/when-you-think-you-stink.html
https://susansmagicfeather.blogspot.com/2012/02/creating-positive-self-image.html

The other day I was contemplating how I could become a better musician without practicing. That is amusing and fairly stupid but on the other hand...I have arthritis and it does really hurt my hands to practice. So I do play the guitar about 6 hours a week and then I decided I'll devote the other 3 hours to composing music. This is fairly preposterous because the way I do compose songs is under pressure and crank out only two songs a year.

Each year the sibs go to our brother and sister in law's house for Thanksjuning and in the summer two of my sisters and I go to a guitar camp. For Thanksjuning we are required to write a song based on the frequent sayings of our parents or Grandparents. One year it was "Don't Ever Let Me Do That Again" and last year it was "It Would Be Different if I Didn't Care". Both were really fun to compose. My aim is the song be at least amusing if not down right superlatively tuneful. This year it's "Good, Good, Good" and I was going along thinking "what a snap this one is"  until I realized I was basically composing [plagiarizing] Van Morrison's 'Crazy Love'. Starting over with a new melody is in order. This is one of the benefits of retirement, I have the time to noodle around. 

Because this is a two for the price of one therapy blog, I am going to continue, in the next post, to point out all of my tragic failings as well as conjoin them with ways to improve for one and all.

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