Jumping Like a Puppet

This statue is of a man in pain, not laughing but agonizing.

My mother always says fear and pain are immediate, and that, when they're gone, we're left with the concept, but not the true memory--why else, she reasons, would anyone give birth more than once.                                  The Tiger's Wife by Tea Obreht

I had total hip replacement in September and I took notes about the surgery and the recovery. I'm glad I did because if anyone today would ask me about the surgery, I'd be apt to reply, "Oh that, it was a piece of cake." That's my reality today but that is not the truth of what really happened. Yes, I'm no longer in the agonizing pain I experienced prior to surgery. Nor am I in the very real discomfort that went on for weeks after the surgery. As stated above, fear and pain are immediate. How soon we forget and thank god we do.

One of the reasons I put off the surgery for so long was simply: I was afraid. Granted we did have crummy insurance as an excuse, but the other reason was plain old fear. I am not a big fan of voluntary pain. However the pain I was experiencing prior to surgery convinced me that I needed to sign up and sign up now for the surgery. I did, I'm so grateful. Yes indeed, the memory of the fear and the pain have faded so considerably that I have to refer to my journal to remember. That is one of the blessings of the brain.

Unfortunately sometimes the brain gets habituated to fear and pain --- the grooves in our grey matter can run very deep. This is more of a curse or worse. Sometimes our brain keeps erroneously sending out pain and fear signals that make us jump like puppets, long after the pain or the fearful situation is over. My job is to help people retrain the brain.

Tell us all your phobias and we'll tell you what you're afraid of.               Robert Benchley

Anxiety/fear can give us a graphic example about this phenomena. I've had more than a few clients come in with a phobia that started in childhood. One man said, "I tell everyone I'm allergic to bees, but that's not true. I'm afraid of bees." No surprise, he had a dreadful encounter with a hive as a child, hence the fear. Though understandable, the reality is that not everyone that's been stung has this fear. Most of us, at one time or another, are stung by a bee or a wasp and that experience, though unpleasant, fades from memory. This man's anxiety was constantly triggered as a child and he tried to hide the truth with his lie. Instead of facing his fear he used the allergy ruse as his excuse. I cured him with just a couple of sessions, facing the fear, and doing a series of EMDR [Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing]. After a couple of sessions I said, "hey, just by coincidence, there's a bee on that window ledge,"[I can be a real comedian] to which he replied, "I'm bigger than the bee." Touche!

Pain is similar. Years ago I read a book Healing Back Pain  by John Sarno that convinced me that a good proportion of the repetitive pain people have is connected to the brain's inability to stop the pain signal. Many years ago I found this book because I was having a lower back pain that went on and on. His method worked for me. However, this is tricky to bring up with clients, because who'd want to admit to purposefully causing themselves pain? Going on the assumption that the answer is "no one", I then proceed to find out their medical history. If, like the young strapping man I saw some years ago, he had gone to several doctors and had every reason to be healed from the muscle strain he suffered months prior. I suggested he read the book. Very shortly [he was a quick study] he was enjoying a pain-free life.

The premise of Sarno's book is that the brain is distracting you with pain. These are unusually nice people who absolutely don't want to face/feel the anger or fear in their life. So, the brain valliantly distracts them from feeling what feels irrational or shameful. Sounds screwy, however you'd be impressed how often it works. The first step is to be suspicious of a lingering pain when all medical methods have been tried in vain. I did this and it worked for me.  I have seen people recover in a matter of weeks once they're on the program and realize the deception the brain is playing. The relief of not being in constant pain is enormous and this is very rewarding work. Life can be so sweet without nagging pain.

And sometimes life gives you a cherry on top.

susansmagicfeather copyright 2013 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved