Praise Does Wonders

Sometimes it's hard to see something lovely that's right in front of us*.

I was in the third grade and my teacher was a "strict" nun who everyone groaned when I said I was in her class. She was not very warm and quite demanding of every pupil. But, she saw something in me. This nun, who was not voluminous with her praise, looked me square in the eye and told me that I was very smart. Because this is the first time I ever heard this, I still remember this and it's a testament to the strength of her words. I think she added "try your hardest always and you'll get good results". This was to a third grader, no more than eight years old and it's made a lasting impression on me.

Children have more need of models than of critics. Joseph Joubert

Since you never know who you're going to positively influence, I think it's the best  advice to be generous in your truthful, loving comments. Be generous in praise and encouragement if you see something in someone--especially someone who might not suspect that they have a good characteristic or talent. You'd be amazed at how many of my clients have said, "no, I've never heard that before," when I've complimented them on being articulate or insightful.

Giving legitimate praise is an art. In order to praise, you have to really study people, be open to their goodness and see what they are all about. This goes nicely with the "be aware and amused" and "tell the truth and run" philosophies that I frequently spout. I want to stand up for this philosophy as being a good hobby. It's a kick to see the talent and the good in people, not always mentally doing a "make-over" or internally criticizing them. It makes life more interesting and much more pleasant.

What is not pleasant but is certainly interesting is the nuns are back in the news. Since a special nun made a great different in my life, I take attacking them, especially for petty reasons, as an affront. As one of my clients said, "what's the deal in dissing those sisters?" Those modest, humble, kind and helpful women who attend to "the throw away people" in our society are being scrutinized and vilified by the Catholic church. That church should be funding them and kissing the hems of their slacks. But no, these men [mandated by the Pope, the US bishops] are appalled that the nuns aren't marching for fetus's rights and shunning their brethren who are gay. Seems funny to even write it, but sadly that's what's become the focus of the church in Rome. All of the good, moral history of the church [well, not the Inquisition] and Jesus's command to "love one another", goes right out the window with their criticism. Truly tossing the baby with the bath water, with no concern as to who's below to catch the baby. These are women who are doing the grunt work, who have dedicated their lives to doing good. What's next? Calling these fine women witches? Haven't we heard that somewhere before?

Sincerely, when was the last time you heard about a scandal of nuns seducing children? Never, right? So is there some connection?  Is this just a ruse to distract us from the real enemies not only of the church, but of morals and decency---misogynism and pedophilia. Think: what would the church hierarchy do if St. Francis was alive and practicing today? He would probably be condemned for attending to the poor. And for mistering to the animals? Starting an order for nuns? My guess is excommunication.

The cathedral in Assisi, the church of St. Francis

Many thorny issues confront the church

In Assisi there is an enormous and quite beautiful cathedral, the church of St. Francis. It has been loved and added on to since his death in 1226. He is probably the most beloved saint in all of the church. He preached poverty, simplicity and love to all of God's creatures. This gentle man could be a great influence and excellent role model for the Pope and bishops today, to love and revere all creatures Finally in the words of the great Aretha Franklin:  "RESPECT, find out what it means to me."   A little respect coupled with gentle love could go a long way in resolving many an issue. Why "diss" your fellow human when you could be on the outlook for something good and something grand?

*Look carefully and see an owl.

susansmagicfeather copyright 2012 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved