SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON FAMILY AND SAVED LETTERS

 

Zach can be fun, at our Mom's Memorial

Zach's family ten years ago

The letters in my files were from the sons who were starting their lives after college. Our oldest son, Zach was a man of few words. During college in one letter he requested funds for something he was interested in doing. After the request for money he said, "I realize that you'd like to hear more but..." So be it. It made me chuckle. Zach, since that era, has frequently written very lovely cards for mother's day, father's day and birthdays to me and my husband. Always a treat.

Josh, years ago, holding his newborn son

Our son Josh went fishing in Alaska after college and vividly described the beauty and many experiences that fishers have. In one adventure, he was wrestling with 60 pound salmon in precarious weather. He described other indelible scenes like fishing with humpback whales for company. Other  stories were tales of his travels after college. Josh reported absolutely hair raising events---like the mother-shocking-incidents he described in Greece, involving a huge motorcycle he rented. He took to riding around the twisty, dangerous Greek roads at top speed. He was 6,000 miles away and there was nothing we could do about our terror here at home. Besides, by the time the letters arrived, he was on to his next adventure. 

The award for most letters written to me were the tender, love filled letters written by my mother and when he retired also from my dad. Interestingly, mom in real life was not all that demonstrative or cuddly, but on paper she would express her deep feelings, love, encouragement and sometimes fears for me. Our mother was widowed at 65 years and the shock reverberated off the page of how she was left to forge ahead after their 44 years marriage. I felt saddened yet honored to receive her outpourings of grief. Now I know how truly young 65 was and discovered how loving and tender was her relationship to my father. Interestingly, mom became much more fun to be around after she picked herself up from the hard work of grieving. She then became the funny, outspoken woman she always was. Turns out she was overshadowed by my very charismatic father.

WWII airplanes in New Orleans museum

Sally's and Trisha's packets of letters that they took home after Mom's memorial, contained the letters written in WWII from our Dad to our Mom. They were filled with his passionate love and longing for our mother. Dad was stationed in the "worst theater in the Pacific---Okinawa." He never let on that this was his nightmare experience. Instead he told us far fetched tales. He claimed he "dug latrines for two years." Instead of depression, fear and anguish, his letters were filled with humorous incidences and the comical people he'd met in the Navy. My father and mother were truly just a little bit affectionate and never overtly demonstrative with their love in front of us. What a treat it was for all of us to hear how deeply smitten Dad was for our mother! Oh, how our mother cherished those letters. And now we get to be delighted with these hand written missives.

The sisters

My sisters have been well represented in these folders, with years of outpouring of love and affection. You should envy me for having such talented, smart and devoted sisters. All of us have written many songs and two of us have written books, soon to be three of us. Especially in our early twenties and thirties when raising out children we would reach out by mail. Many of you will laugh at this but back in the day the telephone was a luxury and a call expensive to those who didn't have fortunes. Letters were a necessity if you wanted to keep in touch. And oh the tales and surprises and grief and joy that would come  in an envelope. My sisters most lovingly expressed their thoughts on what was current in their lives. The best ones were funny, and always loving, supportive and complementary. I do love these sisters.

My Niece, my sister missing from the above picture, my nephew, and three grandnieces

Among the letters to my husband and I, were from our lovely niece. These letters described her family of four's adventures in Taiwan. We missed this little family and especially the little girls. It was delightful to reread them all. We were overjoyed when the Hu McClure family decided to settle on our island. Great company! 

Granddaughter holding a letter

Friends enjoying a letter

I cherish so many of these letters that I can today hold in my hand and laugh or weep over. It's both touching and beautiful. I have decided to start writing letters to my family once a month just because. I'm hoping some of these letters will be eventually meaningful for them. If I hear back that's fine but what I truly desire is that my family gets to hold something in their hand that pours forth my love.  These real feelings just aren't the same when expressed in an email or text. It takes a piece of paper to make it literally more tangible and enduring.

Give the old lady a thrill, write
 

susansmagicfeather 2026 Susan R. Grout