Small Town Therapist On Becoming Good and Holy

 Knowing is not enough, we must do. Thinking is not enough, we must act.                                                     Susan R. Grout

at the Earth day rally

One of the most interesting and challenging parts of the life we lead is trying to be a good, loving and responsible person in all our choices. Here are some questions that I've been rolling around in my head for a long time.
I seriously thought about doing an entire post on the above questions and let each of you contemplate exactly what your answers were to the posed questions. You could stop right here and answer all the questions for yourself. But then I decided that was unfair and if I'm going to blog about philosophy and therapy I need to answer my own questions. Here goes.

1.    Can being constantly in prayer encourage a good and holy life?

2.    Can we be on the cell phone frequently with no consequences?

3.    Can it be harmful for us to be on our phones all the time?

4.    Can tithing to a church be promoting holiness?

5.    Can we strive to be a good person every day?

6.    Can we embrace the sacred when there's so much trash?

7.    Can we disallow junk in our lives? 

8.    Can we create time to ensure we're contributing goodness for our society?

9.    Can we effectively combat the people who are destroying the environment?

10. Can we find an effective way to approach people who are abusive to others, to the earth?

11.  Can we have a close relationship with your community without sacrificing some privacy?

12.  Can "love one another" get supported in churches who are against homosexuals, feminists, people of color, transgender people?

13. Can we accept people who have radically different viewpoints from us?

14. Can we promote radical kindness and generosity by doing volunteer work? 

I seriously thought about presenting all these questions and letting all of you contemplate exactly what your answers were. You could stop right here and answer all the questions for yourself. I then decided that was unfair and if I'm going to write about philosophy and therapy, I need to answer my own questions.

1. Can being constantly praying encourage a good and holy life? No, if you are completely content with the way things are going in your life and with others. No, if you prefer to have a mantra or have an internal dialogue with positive affirmations and you meditate frequently. Yes, if it feels wimpy not to have a solid spiritual base and you want to have a close relationship with a higher power. Yes, if the word constantly is modified to the word often. Personally, I find having a spiritual center gives great meaning to everyday life. I like the word 'often'— ‘constantly’ feels too demanding.

2.  Can we be on cell phones frequently with no consequences? Constantly playing with the phone texting madly, playing computer games, being on social media and the like encourages missing out on life.  A young woman smarter than myself stated, "I think cell phone usage is like what we thought about smoking twenty years ago. We know it's bad for us but it's hard to stop."  One of the most aggravating things I see about cell phones is the phones are no longer just for convenience of communication. Today, if we're honest, phones have become playgrounds for young and old. Most distressingly I see parents paying absolutely no attention to their children but are on their phones constantly. Important business? No, mostly nonsense. This is going to come back to bite them. Just wait until their kids are old enough to spend most of their time on the cell phones. Precious interactions lost. Cell phones according to recent research states they should never be used as babysitters for tiny kids. They are harmful to the developing brain.

3. Can it be harmful for us to be on our phones all the time? I’d like to sidestep the entire lethality issue, but I can't. Once my husband and I were driving on I-5 and a woman in the car next to us was texting and swerved into a lane in front of us. The man in the car to her right was driven off the road into a ditch. Oblivious and still on her phone, she never even knew he went into the ditch. When we called the sheriff he said, "This happens all the time, did you get her license number?" We hadn't and so no consequences for the texter, huge ones for her victim.  The amount of time you can safely look away from the road while driving is tested to be 2 seconds.

4. Can tithing to a church be promoting holiness? The bigger question is what is your church doing constructively to promote goodness for our planet and its people? Contributions, that in turn promote good for many, win hands down as far as I can tell. Even if your church is the great out of doors, does that organization you support contribute to the holiness/goodness in all of us?

 

 5. Can we strive to be a good person daily? How? St. Augustine said it best, "if you are loving and diligent, you can do whatever you want." Loving means action not just thinking. What acts can you do daily to help our earth and/or another human being?  Can you make a daily pledge to show up and be kind to everyone you meet? Diligence requires that you assess what is necessary for you to be the best possible citizen in this world. That can be volunteer work, care giving, contributions to causes that hold goodness as one of their values.

6. Can we embrace the sacred in our lives?  Have you rid yourself of trash and garbage so that you are surrounded by only what is beautiful and pleasing? Are the people in your life ones who bring out the very best in you, ones who elevate your thinking?

7. Can we eliminate people and things that bring us down?  Any therapist worth their philosophy will tell you to encourage joy by being joyful and sidestep the people or ideas or things that seek to interfere with that.

8.Can we embrace time for volunteering for the good of our communities?  One huge hint: turn off the cell phones and the machines. Less time on the cell phones, computers, TV, and movies can stretch out the day and night impressively. Try it. Then what are you going to do with all those extra hours? It is a new fad that young people are proud of saying No! to volunteering. Then the "me" time is usually with their machines. I’ve read and often follow the advice to have a tech free day, says she while writing on her computer. Stop laughing.

9. Can we effectively combat the people, organizations who are actively destroying the environment? Fight. Get active and get educated. Upset that there is a threat to clean air and clean water? Write letters, call your congressman, show up for demonstrations, give donations to organizations that are working to help the environment and are willing to go after the polluters, vote out of office people who are complicit in destroying this planet.

10. Can we find an effective way to handle abusive people who are bullies? I encourage people to speak up, and do so, with an advocate by your side. Let the bullies know that their behavior will not be tolerated, and you won't be quiet about it. Be courageous.

11. Can you have a close community without sacrificing any privacy? You really can't. You can have some privacy, but not lots if you desire closeness with your fellow humans.

12. Can "love one another" get supported in churches who are against homosexuals, feminists, people of color, transgender people? The only words we know for a fact that Jesus uttered is "love one another." If you suspect that your church or congregation is homophobic, intolerant, or racist how can they be following that loving principle? Not possible.  Find a group that really does love and actively participate in promoting the goodness therein for all people.

13.Can we accept radically different viewpoints?  I am going to use a newly defined 'dirty word': be liberal minded, be open minded and open hearted. Realize and know if there is veiled racism or bigotry you are allowed to say how disappointed you are. Fighting bigotry is an active ongoing posture, not a passive one.

14. Can we promote radical kindness and generosity, you must be the one who is out there dedicating your life to being kind and generous. The easiest way is to volunteer your time. As noted, you will have so much more time if you put down the phone and the machines.

Please note none of this is directed at the people who are working two or three jobs just to stay afloat. However, if you know someone in that position, offer a helping hand or even cash. It's good and holy.

Expect to work hard for goodness, kindness and to save the earth. As Bob Marley said, "the evil doers in this world never take a day off, so how can I?"

The leucistic robin visited us this spring, it felt good and holy.

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susansmagicfeather  2024 Susan R. Grout