When I am Hopelessly Lost

I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see.
Amazing Grace, traditional

She who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.   Anon

 One of my least amusing, tragic flaws is that I tend to 'lose it' [pun unfortunate] when I'm lost. I absolutely hate it and my behavior reflects it. This most often occurs when I'm without a map or only have an inadequate map and am driving around an unfamiliar city. I get in a fury trying to become reoriented. 

This most recently happened with my grandkids in San Francisco. I thought we were so smart because we had perfect directions to the spot where we were dropping off our grandson, it was a breeze. Then, when we went to pick him up, I thought I knew where to get back on the freeway but I was deeply wrong. What seemed like hours [in fact it was minutes] later, after uttering a few choice swear words, my grandson finally said, "Turn here, Nana..." and he was right. We got back on the freeway and to his house with no further ado. 

I apologized to all of them. I was a big pill, grumbling and possibly frightening the kids and I really was ashamed of myself for making such a fuss. I remembered a story that my niece told me about swearing. Her darling, precocious two and a half year old daughter was in the car with her when she uttered a very risque swear word. After she'd calmed down she said to the little girl "I'm so sorry, Mommy said a very bad word." Then my grandniece said in her little fairy voice, "Oh, you could just say 'house' instead." Good solution, out of the mouth of babes. 

As for another solution, one of my sisters says when she gets lost, "I look upon it like it's adventure," to which I'm thinking "after riding with me when I'm lost it would be an adventure in hell."

So I'm asking myself, 'why do I get so agitated?' I was never left by the side of the road by my parents. Yes, I was under supervised and probably got lost quite a bit when I first started driving, but, come on, I surely could get over that. 

Some obvious questions you might have for me are: "why don't you have GPS?' Answer, "we don't have a smart phone, only stupid, simple cellphones.". Then also, "why didn't you ask for help?" Ah, it was dark at night and I truly believed that if I just kept going in a certain direction I would see some signs. I was wrong. Wrong in the wrong direction is not good. Next, you might wonder, "shouldn't you plan your trip in advance?" To which I can only reply "shut up". 


Each time I forget to have specific instructions on how to get somewhere I vow it will never happen again. But it does. So how about if I make a formal declaration of 'dependency' on a plan. "I promise to know where I'm going at all times." That's quite a goal. And of course, if I don't remember to make a solid plan I'll probably get lost again...but this time I could just say "house" instead.

susansmagicfeather copyright 2013 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved