Reversing the Curse: Getting Unstuck

One of my favorite bodies in motion

The port to a new life is wide and open.

In my almost forty years of counseling one of the easiest things to do with clients is help them get unstuck from a repetitive problem. First I have to figure out what's preventing them from having the life they want. Then I go through the initial interview with the question, "what would you like to see changed in your life or in your relationships?" This is client directed therapy and I aim to partner with the client to enable them to change their life. That question is most revealing and a very good start.

Below is a partial list of how I see people gumming up their lives:

1. laziness and stagnancy 
2. lack of exercise and an improper diet
3. fear 
4. greed and/or stinginess
5. depression
6. addictions to drugs/alcohol
7. poor choices in relationships
8. guilt from real or imaged mistakes
9. too much time viewing TV/computers/cell phones/i pads etc.
10. meaninglessness
11. unwillingness or fear of change
12. self-loathing
13. anger and hatred of self or others
14. grudge holding
15. narrow mindedness
16. purposely failing so they stay stuck.

Defining what's impeding clients from leading this desired happier life is the first step and then it's a matter of 'reversing the curse'. Starting at the top of the list is a huge culprit, laziness. This is usually a difficult one for people to admit, but if in fact they've not moved much from the couch, either mentally, emotionally or physically in years, they need to consider that they might just be lazy. They aren't alone. Currently, we Americans, are 16th among developed countries in longevity and one of the root causes for our poor showing is lack of exercise and a poor diet [#2 on the hit parade].

Isaac Newton stated: a body at rest tends to stay at rest and a body in motion tends to stay in motion. One of the truisms is that we're not in motion enough. The simple act of walking has become an ordeal for many and what's sad about that is, it compounds itself by creating the body at rest. Unsticking from laziness physically is analogous to trying to get dried up gum off the floor. There are many remedies to this sticky situation [pun irresistible] and all of them require effort. One way is to take a knife and pry it up, another is to apply ice and then scrape away. A jackhammer uses too much force and a gentle finger too little effort. But energy and the right amount of force will do the job. The same is true of laziness. It requires awareness, determination and then effort to get unstuck. Interestingly, energy expended begets energy. But you have to notice the gum on the floor--- then you have to want remove it. Otherwise there it sits.

You have to love whatever activity you choose.

Motivation to change and get moving has been described and re-described as though it is a mysterious process and yet it really isn't. Obviously if you hate a physical activity the reluctance and loathing will soon create the body at rest again. So pick something that you love to do. Since I was a little girl I've adored the freedom and the feeling of riding a bike. Naturally this is my number one go-to activity. When the weather is too crummy wind blowing a gale then walking and yoga are safer bets. If I'm lucky enough to be in a warmer climate then it's swimming and snorkeling. The commonality in all of these physical activities is that I love them and look forward to them.

Poor diet isn't all that complicated either: eat what is natural, avoid processed foods and keep your portions reasonable. The billions of dollars made on diet books that really could be pamphlets---but that's a deep dark secret that I've just uncovered. Two dear persons in our family recently lost 25 lbs. just by portion control and drinking 'lite' beer. Hey, everyone has their methods. It could be a book, The Lite Beer and Smaller Portions Diet, Try It!

The next part to laziness is mental laziness. I believe everyone agrees: there is so much work to be done cleaning up this world. Sadly there are so many able bodied and able minded people who choose to sit on the side lines and watch the world implode. This is the worst aspect of mental laziness. How on earth can we be a positive force in the world with inaction or apathy? We, the world's people, need all of our efforts to change the way things are being handled. We all need to clean up the environment, help our neighbors and the world's children who are due to inherit the mess we've made of things. The effort expended, through volunteer work or even writing a supportive check to a worthy cause, can contribute to the change we need to see in the world. If you will do this the positive action helps move you away from mental apathy. It also, even for selfish reasons, has been shown to . Agood recommendation to be altruistic.

Recently there have been a flurry of articles suggesting that learning something new, no matter what your age, can enhance your life, improve your quality of life, keep you sharp into old age and increase your life span.  For purely selfish reasons [endorphins calling] you could exercise and choose to learn something new each day. Some of the longest living people on the planet are active and life long learners. So, study what's important to you.  You can even study a new language from the couch! But be sure to get cracken', time's a wastin'.


Joyous activity begets more joyous activity.


susansmagicfeather copyright 2013 Susan R. Grout all rights reserved