SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON PITA

 

Some days you just can't win or even break even. That's been my fate for the past week. Compared to what's going on in this country and what's the plights of other's lives who are struggling with food insecurity or homelessness, sincerely this is nothing.

About a week ago I got a canker sore on my tongue after biting my tongue (do not laugh) while eating too quickly, a tragic habit. I'm one of those people who is prone to canker sores. As a young teen I had to be taken to the ER because the sore was so bad I couldn't eat at all for 10 days. I remember even water hurt. Silver nitrate to the rescue! Although that cure did hurt it solved the problem. I have been repeatedly warned about not paying attention to how I'm eating and tend to forget and ignore the truly dreadful consequences. Behaving has never been one of my finer features. I'm going on more than a week of soft foods only and I'm thankful for milkshakes.

At the same time of the canker, my husband started a cold which he sadly gave to me. Now every time I sneeze the explosion in my mouth triggers a zapping pain from the canker and I yowl. Not fun.

Another unfortunate consequence is it hurts to talk. I can hold the side of my face and squeak out a few words but gingerly, because that hurts too.  So not a lot of talking.

I asked my husband, "what's it like to have an almost silent wife?" 

His response was a smirk and then he slowly responded saying, "I refuse to answer on grounds which might incriminate me."

Oh well. I guess sometimes I am verbose. Oh well. I guess sometimes I am a Pain In The Ass. But hey, no fair, my body doesn't need to turn on me as well. 

Enjoy the good times

 

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON WE CAN DO BETTER

 

Photographer: Alex Mittelstaedt

 I'm going to state that even though we are currently saddled with a con man and his illegal alien we can do better. Hope is on the horizon. Midterms 2026.

Currently there are massive protests all over our country and the world. The press is slow to negligent to report on these worldwide protests. People are  demanding democracy.  Many people, the world over are worried, with good reason, for our and their democracy hence the protests. 

One of the frightening ideas that is currently being touted, especially by young people, is the longing for a third party in this country. They desire a party that has no flaws and are hypercritical of the Democrats. Of course, they are appalled at the Republicans who are supporting a convicted felon, tearing apart our country with hate rhetoric and racist policies and allowing Elon Musk to defund our programs.

Are the Democrats perfect? Far from it. However, please read the two platforms put forth by the major parties. If the young people, and many of us older folks, would read the platforms they would discover where the Democrats want this country to be. This is a far cry and big contrast with where the Republicans want to take us.  I believe they would see a 90% agreement with the D's and a 10% disagreement with the Democrats. This would be dramatically different split in for and against with the Republican's platform. Democrats are all for: following the Constitution; Respect for Women's Rights; concern about the environment; feeding the hungry; taking care of all our citizens and educating and protecting the children of this nation. The Republicans? Not so much. 

protests are the people's right to protect democracy

Because many of these young people were toddlers, teens or very young adults in the 2000 election, they don't know the history of that race. Al Gore, who had been a Vice President under Bill Clinton was a stellar candidate. Gore was the man who tried to educate the U.S. about the danger of climate change.  He labeled it 'Global Warming', which of course we know is accurate, but the ignorant Republicans made fun of him and it. One Republican congressman even brought a snowball into congress to prove that the earth wasn't warming. Now, twenty years later we are saddled with out of control weather---hurricanes in states that never had them before, flooding with catastrophic results and incredible destruction and loss of lives and property. We could have had Al Gore all those years ago. Instead we got George Bush and an unnecessary war. Why do we continue to put inadequate and incompetent people in office?

Here's some of the reasons we have elected less than good people to be president.. 

1. People choose not to vote. In the last election 93 million people did not vote.
2. People choose to vote for a third party candidate. The third party candidate in the 2000 election was Ralph Nader, who had only one issue important to him: car safety.
3. People choose not to read the platforms of the Republicans vs the Democrats.
4. People believed that both parties are the same.
5. People were angry this last election, with some justification, at the Democrats for sending arms to Israel.
6. People were reactive to Kamala Harris as not being liberal enough.
7. People were angry that Democrats protected Biden who was apparently failing with age.
8. People were afraid of a liberal, intelligent, brown skinned woman leading the country.
9. People believed that Trump was a stronger person and, being male, had better answers.
10. People didn't realize that even though they agreed with 90% of the Democrats platform, they decided not to vote for the Democrats, the anger was really only about the 10% disagreement. 
11. People all over the country were subjected to gerrymandering and suppression of their legally cast votes.
12. People trusted that Trump was telling the truth and was going to make things more efficient in his government, never realizing that Elon Musk was going to fire qualified people.
13. People want the perfect which is the enemy of the good.
14. People listened to right wing pod casts and television and believed lie after lie.

Here's the frustration many of us feel--- why can't people listen to real threats? Why would they believe that oligarchy is a good alternative to democracy? Once our democracy is gone do they really believe that things will be better? This country was founded on the belief that all men/women were created equally. We all deserve life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Can any of us really want the .01% of our population to have all the power and control? Is it right to turn our democracy into a corporation of the rich, by the rich, for the rich, so help us god? 

susansmagicfeather 2025 Susan R. Grout 

Small Town Therapist on Skin Deep

It may surprise you that skin is our body's largest organ. It protects us against any and all invasive intrusions, helps regulate our temperature and is a very important sensory organ. Yet we sometimes refer to our skin somewhat disparagingly, as in the saying 'skin deep'--meaning superficial. This is as though the skin provides only a superficial role in our lives. The truth is skin plays a very important in our lives.

Why this rumination on skin? My husband and I went to the dermatologist for our annual check up and I came away grateful that there were no serious problems. No cancer, only a few places on my face that had to be frozen off. Ouch. Unfortunately my husband had many parts of his skin 'frozen.'  My husband says of my skin, "Your tattoos are your old battle wounds." These "tattoos" are scars from the operations and accidents I've had over the years. These scars I'm grateful for as visual reminders that I not only survived the accidents and the surgeries, but I'm better for  them.

When I was growing up there wasn't anyone talking (incessantly) about the benefits of using suntan lotions to protect and aid the skin in the aging process. No, we used baby oil and iodine as we sunbathed. No protection from the sun for us. I was an avid swimmer and I shutter to remember that unhelpful baby oil and iodine, it went off my skin right into the lake. However the chickens have come home to not only roost but also to decorate my skin with numerous freckles and brown spots. Lately I've developed what looks like chicken skin on my body. Did I mention that I've aged? Did I mention I had four red headed uncles that I believed blessed me with freckles all over my body like theirs?  Turns out, my dermatologist told me, it wasn't the legacy from the uncles but my very own blondness and sun exposure that gave me these brown dots all over. 

I've pointed out previously people in their seventies can't be, by definition, young. So I'm not young and, as a beloved grandma said about her wrinkles, "I've earned these stripes!"  I'd like to add "I've caused these spots with many wonderful days at the beach."

GG was a classic beauty

I've noticed I have the kind of skin on my arms that creases even when I'm not bending my elbow. This is new. As children we cherished the very luscious, creamy skin that dangled from our grandmother's triceps. We loved her skin, it was a delight to touch. She indulged us and let us embrace that soft skin and we'd even swat it so it would waggle. A laugh riot for us as we reveled in that softness. She'd just laugh. So, am I there yet? Not quite but my body's working on it.

Strong in will to strive, to seek to find and not to yield.     Alfred Lord Tennyson

Bacon is mostly healthy, right?

Since I've had two surgeries (hip replacement surgeries) I am personally opposed to voluntary pain because I suffered prior to getting the surgeries. The clients that I had who did have total facelifts had a lot of pain. I realize these surgeries have gotten more humane but I guess I'm a fan of stiving ahead, staying in shape and aging naturally. So no Botox or elective dermatological surgery for me.  However, part of my belief system boils down to, 'to each his/her own.'  I can't criticize those who for job security, or because of self loathing, or wanting to extend a youthful look for as long as possible, go for the full overhaul. I can't.

Personally, to ward off the worst aspects of old age, I compulsively read articles and books on how to prolong life. I try to eat carefully, exercise often, keep up with my friends and family, play word games and get at least seven hours sleep. This, after my research, is my attempt to stay healthy with all my faculties. So far, I'm winning the lottery for genes which really, is just good luck. My father's side of the family died earlyish in their late sixties, my mother's side, I'm happy to report, lived good long lives well in to their late eighties. 

I attribute my father's good looking skin and rosy glow in his sixties to his love for golf and playing outside on the course as much as he could. But he also drank a fair bit. My mother in her life, went out in the sun all the time, got tan and yet was fairly wrinkle free until her late eighties. Myself? I  am the one who foolishly sunbathed but have a more sensitive skin that my unwrinkled mother.  I would love to blame my uncles but it really was my fair skin and ignorance about sun damage.

Mom at eighty-seven

One idea I had about my mom's good looking skin in her old age is this: growing up, she lived in northern Wisconsin. I believe the sun was not as hot and damaging to her skin as our friend the sun is now. Global warming has effected all of us in many ways. 

Now the dermatologist is my best friend, but she would claim my friendship is only skin deep.  

soft lighting definitely helps

susansmagicfeather 2025 Susan R. Grout

 

Small Town Therapist on a Puzzling Addiction

Here we go round and round again

 
What has happened to our country, home of the brave and the free? For one thing, 93 million people chose not to vote and a would be has been dictator has taken control. I'm sad to be losing democracy to Oligarchy. The new administration is busy forming his cabinet and putting inept Fox news entertainers in various positions. These are people who are completely unqualified and untrained. My guess is the current president doesn't want any one of them to share the spotlight. Only the unqualified and inept, why? Apparently to make himself seem more capable. 

Ultimately the worse is T's created a new department and put a Nazi sympathizer in charge. Is it even legal? Why on earth was this a good idea? Truly it's not, but it makes sense if you know the root cause.

we're between a rock and a hard place

Although almost no one has made the connection, to my knowledge, we are now faced with supporting a terrible addiction in our current government. It's my opinion that Trump, Musk, Hegseth and the like are addicts to power and greed. 

Read the list of what addiction to greed and power looks like:

1. A sense of entitlement  2. Lack of empathy  3. Impulsivity 4. Mood swings 5. Depression   6. Ruthlessness   7. Manipulation   8. Resistance  to change  9. Scapegoating  10. Obsession to power and money.

Surely you see a common thread here. Are any of these men and women newly advanced into positions of power being honest about their capabilities? Of course not.  Also let's add the obvious---they are afraid of the bully at the top. Do they care about about the people in this country? Of course they don't. They have convinced themselves that even though they have nothing positive to lend to the cabinet position, they feel a sense of entitlement. They can reach the desired heights of power and greed with ruthless abandon. Who really cares that the suggested head of Health and Human Services, RFK, condemns all vaccines and potentially puts millions of children in danger? He doesn't. He's been given the scientific facts about vaccines and rejects them for his screwy beliefs. He's resistant to change. From previous experience you know darn well if things start going poorly in anyone of these position of power our president will scapegoat the cabinet member. It's never, ever his fault. His entire cabinet is based on his impulsiveness.  It's not rational, but then are power and greed ever rational? Think about Napoleon, Putin and always remember Hitler--- the answer is no.

Interestingly, the people promoted to these cabinet positions will claim they are appalled by addiction. This is not true. They simply don't want to help the addicts in our country get well. Many could get well by funding recovery programs.  As for them and addiction to power and greed? They would never recognize their behavior as a sign of addiction. 

One of the platitudes used endlessly by many Republicans is "don't just throw money at a problem." Yet what is "tax cuts for the rich?"  First of all, there is no problem financially if you are a billionaire. The lie is that this will somehow help all Americans. It's simply a reworking of the trickle down theory that's proven to be a bust.  Secondly, the only group that the current administration won't throw money at are the people who desperately need the money. Make sense of this for me, please.

In fact, and check my figures if you doubt this, the problems with homelessness, child poverty, climate change, could be eliminated if we threw money at these real problems. Sincerely Mr. Musk, if you're not addicted to the money, would you be willing to give vast sums of money to these very real and worthy causes instead of launching yet another rocket to Mars? I wonder if he'd ever think like this.

Most people understand that when an crisis happens the government swoops into help its people. There is real suffering and our country is generous to the survivors of the after effects. This  happened in Florida after the Hurricanes and recently in the south after the enormous floods. The Biden administration allowed FEMA to rush in and help our suffering citizens.  But the current administration  decided to not give aid to people in California after the horrific fires--- unless they meet T's demands. This is clearly not the American way. We help our neighbors, we are neighborly. No so with our fearful leader. He's famous for his lack of empathy. He wants all to kiss his ring when in fact he needs a kick in the keister.  

As I write this, today is Holocaust Remembrance Day. We know that Hitler was a power and greed addict. He used these addictions to justify murdering millions of people. Perhaps we should be hoping for a recovery program for the addicts that are currently invading our government. 

Please stay connected to activist groups and fight for the good of this country. This is not the time to drop out or wimp out.

susansmagicfeather 2025 Susan R. Grout