SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON PITA

 

Some days you just can't win or even break even. That's been my fate for the past week. Compared to what's going on in this country and what's the plights of other's lives who are struggling with food insecurity or homelessness, sincerely this is nothing.

About a week ago I got a canker sore on my tongue after biting my tongue (do not laugh) while eating too quickly, a tragic habit. I'm one of those people who is prone to canker sores. As a young teen I had to be taken to the ER because the sore was so bad I couldn't eat at all for 10 days. I remember even water hurt. Silver nitrate to the rescue! Although that cure did hurt it solved the problem. I have been repeatedly warned about not paying attention to how I'm eating and tend to forget and ignore the truly dreadful consequences. Behaving has never been one of my finer features. I'm going on more than a week of soft foods only and I'm thankful for milkshakes.

At the same time of the canker, my husband started a cold which he sadly gave to me. Now every time I sneeze the explosion in my mouth triggers a zapping pain from the canker and I yowl. Not fun.

Another unfortunate consequence is it hurts to talk. I can hold the side of my face and squeak out a few words but gingerly, because that hurts too.  So not a lot of talking.

I asked my husband, "what's it like to have an almost silent wife?" 

His response was a smirk and then he slowly responded saying, "I refuse to answer on grounds which might incriminate me."

Oh well. I guess sometimes I am verbose. Oh well. I guess sometimes I am a Pain In The Ass. But hey, no fair, my body doesn't need to turn on me as well. 

Enjoy the good times

 

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON WE CAN DO BETTER

 

Photographer: Alex Mittelstaedt

 I'm going to state that even though we are currently saddled with a con man and his illegal alien we can do better. Hope is on the horizon. Midterms 2026.

Currently there are massive protests all over our country and the world. The press is slow to negligent to report on these worldwide protests. People are  demanding democracy.  Many people, the world over are worried, with good reason, for our and their democracy hence the protests. 

One of the frightening ideas that is currently being touted, especially by young people, is the longing for a third party in this country. They desire a party that has no flaws and are hypercritical of the Democrats. Of course, they are appalled at the Republicans who are supporting a convicted felon, tearing apart our country with hate rhetoric and racist policies and allowing Elon Musk to defund our programs.

Are the Democrats perfect? Far from it. However, please read the two platforms put forth by the major parties. If the young people, and many of us older folks, would read the platforms they would discover where the Democrats want this country to be. This is a far cry and big contrast with where the Republicans want to take us.  I believe they would see a 90% agreement with the D's and a 10% disagreement with the Democrats. This would be dramatically different split in for and against with the Republican's platform. Democrats are all for: following the Constitution; Respect for Women's Rights; concern about the environment; feeding the hungry; taking care of all our citizens and educating and protecting the children of this nation. The Republicans? Not so much. 

protests are the people's right to protect democracy

Because many of these young people were toddlers, teens or very young adults in the 2000 election, they don't know the history of that race. Al Gore, who had been a Vice President under Bill Clinton was a stellar candidate. Gore was the man who tried to educate the U.S. about the danger of climate change.  He labeled it 'Global Warming', which of course we know is accurate, but the ignorant Republicans made fun of him and it. One Republican congressman even brought a snowball into congress to prove that the earth wasn't warming. Now, twenty years later we are saddled with out of control weather---hurricanes in states that never had them before, flooding with catastrophic results and incredible destruction and loss of lives and property. We could have had Al Gore all those years ago. Instead we got George Bush and an unnecessary war. Why do we continue to put inadequate and incompetent people in office?

Here's some of the reasons we have elected less than good people to be president.. 

1. People choose not to vote. In the last election 93 million people did not vote.
2. People choose to vote for a third party candidate. The third party candidate in the 2000 election was Ralph Nader, who had only one issue important to him: car safety.
3. People choose not to read the platforms of the Republicans vs the Democrats.
4. People believed that both parties are the same.
5. People were angry this last election, with some justification, at the Democrats for sending arms to Israel.
6. People were reactive to Kamala Harris as not being liberal enough.
7. People were angry that Democrats protected Biden who was apparently failing with age.
8. People were afraid of a liberal, intelligent, brown skinned woman leading the country.
9. People believed that Trump was a stronger person and, being male, had better answers.
10. People didn't realize that even though they agreed with 90% of the Democrats platform, they decided not to vote for the Democrats, the anger was really only about the 10% disagreement. 
11. People all over the country were subjected to gerrymandering and suppression of their legally cast votes.
12. People trusted that Trump was telling the truth and was going to make things more efficient in his government, never realizing that Elon Musk was going to fire qualified people.
13. People want the perfect which is the enemy of the good.
14. People listened to right wing pod casts and television and believed lie after lie.

Here's the frustration many of us feel--- why can't people listen to real threats? Why would they believe that oligarchy is a good alternative to democracy? Once our democracy is gone do they really believe that things will be better? This country was founded on the belief that all men/women were created equally. We all deserve life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Can any of us really want the .01% of our population to have all the power and control? Is it right to turn our democracy into a corporation of the rich, by the rich, for the rich, so help us god? 

susansmagicfeather 2025 Susan R. Grout 

Small Town Therapist on Skin Deep

It may surprise you that skin is our body's largest organ. It protects us against any and all invasive intrusions, helps regulate our temperature and is a very important sensory organ. Yet we sometimes refer to our skin somewhat disparagingly, as in the saying 'skin deep'--meaning superficial. This is as though the skin provides only a superficial role in our lives. The truth is skin plays a very important in our lives.

Why this rumination on skin? My husband and I went to the dermatologist for our annual check up and I came away grateful that there were no serious problems. No cancer, only a few places on my face that had to be frozen off. Ouch. Unfortunately my husband had many parts of his skin 'frozen.'  My husband says of my skin, "Your tattoos are your old battle wounds." These "tattoos" are scars from the operations and accidents I've had over the years. These scars I'm grateful for as visual reminders that I not only survived the accidents and the surgeries, but I'm better for  them.

When I was growing up there wasn't anyone talking (incessantly) about the benefits of using suntan lotions to protect and aid the skin in the aging process. No, we used baby oil and iodine as we sunbathed. No protection from the sun for us. I was an avid swimmer and I shutter to remember that unhelpful baby oil and iodine, it went off my skin right into the lake. However the chickens have come home to not only roost but also to decorate my skin with numerous freckles and brown spots. Lately I've developed what looks like chicken skin on my body. Did I mention that I've aged? Did I mention I had four red headed uncles that I believed blessed me with freckles all over my body like theirs?  Turns out, my dermatologist told me, it wasn't the legacy from the uncles but my very own blondness and sun exposure that gave me these brown dots all over. 

I've pointed out previously people in their seventies can't be, by definition, young. So I'm not young and, as a beloved grandma said about her wrinkles, "I've earned these stripes!"  I'd like to add "I've caused these spots with many wonderful days at the beach."

GG was a classic beauty

I've noticed I have the kind of skin on my arms that creases even when I'm not bending my elbow. This is new. As children we cherished the very luscious, creamy skin that dangled from our grandmother's triceps. We loved her skin, it was a delight to touch. She indulged us and let us embrace that soft skin and we'd even swat it so it would waggle. A laugh riot for us as we reveled in that softness. She'd just laugh. So, am I there yet? Not quite but my body's working on it.

Strong in will to strive, to seek to find and not to yield.     Alfred Lord Tennyson

Bacon is mostly healthy, right?

Since I've had two surgeries (hip replacement surgeries) I am personally opposed to voluntary pain because I suffered prior to getting the surgeries. The clients that I had who did have total facelifts had a lot of pain. I realize these surgeries have gotten more humane but I guess I'm a fan of stiving ahead, staying in shape and aging naturally. So no Botox or elective dermatological surgery for me.  However, part of my belief system boils down to, 'to each his/her own.'  I can't criticize those who for job security, or because of self loathing, or wanting to extend a youthful look for as long as possible, go for the full overhaul. I can't.

Personally, to ward off the worst aspects of old age, I compulsively read articles and books on how to prolong life. I try to eat carefully, exercise often, keep up with my friends and family, play word games and get at least seven hours sleep. This, after my research, is my attempt to stay healthy with all my faculties. So far, I'm winning the lottery for genes which really, is just good luck. My father's side of the family died earlyish in their late sixties, my mother's side, I'm happy to report, lived good long lives well in to their late eighties. 

I attribute my father's good looking skin and rosy glow in his sixties to his love for golf and playing outside on the course as much as he could. But he also drank a fair bit. My mother in her life, went out in the sun all the time, got tan and yet was fairly wrinkle free until her late eighties. Myself? I  am the one who foolishly sunbathed but have a more sensitive skin that my unwrinkled mother.  I would love to blame my uncles but it really was my fair skin and ignorance about sun damage.

Mom at eighty-seven

One idea I had about my mom's good looking skin in her old age is this: growing up, she lived in northern Wisconsin. I believe the sun was not as hot and damaging to her skin as our friend the sun is now. Global warming has effected all of us in many ways. 

Now the dermatologist is my best friend, but she would claim my friendship is only skin deep.  

soft lighting definitely helps

susansmagicfeather 2025 Susan R. Grout

 

Small Town Therapist on a Puzzling Addiction

Here we go round and round again

 
What has happened to our country, home of the brave and the free? For one thing, 93 million people chose not to vote and a would be has been dictator has taken control. I'm sad to be losing democracy to Oligarchy. The new administration is busy forming his cabinet and putting inept Fox news entertainers in various positions. These are people who are completely unqualified and untrained. My guess is the current president doesn't want any one of them to share the spotlight. Only the unqualified and inept, why? Apparently to make himself seem more capable. 

Ultimately the worse is T's created a new department and put a Nazi sympathizer in charge. Is it even legal? Why on earth was this a good idea? Truly it's not, but it makes sense if you know the root cause.

we're between a rock and a hard place

Although almost no one has made the connection, to my knowledge, we are now faced with supporting a terrible addiction in our current government. It's my opinion that Trump, Musk, Hegseth and the like are addicts to power and greed. 

Read the list of what addiction to greed and power looks like:

1. A sense of entitlement  2. Lack of empathy  3. Impulsivity 4. Mood swings 5. Depression   6. Ruthlessness   7. Manipulation   8. Resistance  to change  9. Scapegoating  10. Obsession to power and money.

Surely you see a common thread here. Are any of these men and women newly advanced into positions of power being honest about their capabilities? Of course not.  Also let's add the obvious---they are afraid of the bully at the top. Do they care about about the people in this country? Of course they don't. They have convinced themselves that even though they have nothing positive to lend to the cabinet position, they feel a sense of entitlement. They can reach the desired heights of power and greed with ruthless abandon. Who really cares that the suggested head of Health and Human Services, RFK, condemns all vaccines and potentially puts millions of children in danger? He doesn't. He's been given the scientific facts about vaccines and rejects them for his screwy beliefs. He's resistant to change. From previous experience you know darn well if things start going poorly in anyone of these position of power our president will scapegoat the cabinet member. It's never, ever his fault. His entire cabinet is based on his impulsiveness.  It's not rational, but then are power and greed ever rational? Think about Napoleon, Putin and always remember Hitler--- the answer is no.

Interestingly, the people promoted to these cabinet positions will claim they are appalled by addiction. This is not true. They simply don't want to help the addicts in our country get well. Many could get well by funding recovery programs.  As for them and addiction to power and greed? They would never recognize their behavior as a sign of addiction. 

One of the platitudes used endlessly by many Republicans is "don't just throw money at a problem." Yet what is "tax cuts for the rich?"  First of all, there is no problem financially if you are a billionaire. The lie is that this will somehow help all Americans. It's simply a reworking of the trickle down theory that's proven to be a bust.  Secondly, the only group that the current administration won't throw money at are the people who desperately need the money. Make sense of this for me, please.

In fact, and check my figures if you doubt this, the problems with homelessness, child poverty, climate change, could be eliminated if we threw money at these real problems. Sincerely Mr. Musk, if you're not addicted to the money, would you be willing to give vast sums of money to these very real and worthy causes instead of launching yet another rocket to Mars? I wonder if he'd ever think like this.

Most people understand that when an crisis happens the government swoops into help its people. There is real suffering and our country is generous to the survivors of the after effects. This  happened in Florida after the Hurricanes and recently in the south after the enormous floods. The Biden administration allowed FEMA to rush in and help our suffering citizens.  But the current administration  decided to not give aid to people in California after the horrific fires--- unless they meet T's demands. This is clearly not the American way. We help our neighbors, we are neighborly. No so with our fearful leader. He's famous for his lack of empathy. He wants all to kiss his ring when in fact he needs a kick in the keister.  

As I write this, today is Holocaust Remembrance Day. We know that Hitler was a power and greed addict. He used these addictions to justify murdering millions of people. Perhaps we should be hoping for a recovery program for the addicts that are currently invading our government. 

Please stay connected to activist groups and fight for the good of this country. This is not the time to drop out or wimp out.

susansmagicfeather 2025 Susan R. Grout

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST MY PICTURES OF 2024

Christmas at the Z and A Grouts

wearing a Christmas present

Another year is winding down, about to take its last breath. I like to  remember the highlights and share them with you.  Included is a bit of Christmas, the glory of Sally's party with lots of fun and family from all over the country,  and my favorite---Groutfest.

Thanksgiving missing Vail and Jonathan

Sally's party

 

relatives traveled from afar

 

all the siblings wrote a performed a song 

 for Sally's birthday

Vail, Jonathan and Amelia

Trisha

Bobby

Sally and her daughters

I love to do these end of the year in pictures and, though it seems frivolous, many people like looking at this yearly post.

Cousins

Chin and Ella

groutfest

Groutfest

A highlight!  Groutfest

cousins at Jackles

Josh and Amelia

Groutfest

I am at my absolute happiest surrounded by my family, eating, talking, hiking and joking together. Ah, summer.

Guitar camp is always a surprise, there is always so much to learn and experience,  it's not just about guitar. I'm always working on writing then performing my song and improving my skills. Another plus about the camp, there are so many interesting wonderful people.

guitar camp has a dance

cabin mates and a good friend

my birthday at the beach

Halloween

A few of the low lights, two of my relatives had emergency appendectomies. Yikes. Then D and I had so many doctor appointments for various age related problems. Ah well stay healthy people.

a busy 4th marching in the parade for the Democrats

Graduation  at Gonzaga

Getting ready for Lauren's graduation from Gonzaga.   

Zach and James

Lauren and Anne

                          

Zach's birthday with family

last January we had quite the storm

Let's all hope for some surprising loving kindness coming from every part of this country. I can hope anyway.

As for our new reality? Let's all stay on our toes and strive for what is good and right for all. Speak up!

Always always celebrate

susansmagicfeather 2024 Susan R. Grout

Small Town Therapist on Obedience and Dissing

 

In my life I've gone from strict obedience (as a child) to flaunting the rules (as a grown woman). This seems amusing to write yet this has had a big impact in my life. It's an interesting process to go from strictly adhering to other's rules to going with my gut and ignoring the possible displeasure, laughter or anger of people by flaunting some of the rules. 

Many of these 'being obedient' rules were dished out by the Catholic church in which I was raised. As a child I was very devoted and pious. Sadly that devotion was all based on fear.  An example is when I diligently prayed to god as a six year old, urgently requesting that my sister (who was suffering from an allergic reaction to grapes) would recover. The doctor came to our house which was an incredibly big deal! I remember being frightened and in tears. I was so scared and worried that I took my small savings and walked to the shops and bought her a ceramic angel. Happily she did recover rather quickly and that started me on the road believing that it was necessary for me to be in earnest prayer for any untoward eventuality. 

Then at 17 I went away to college. It was a Catholic institution, which pleased my parents, assuming I would stay with the teachings of the church. I later found out my father didn't particularly care. He was not religious and was uninterested in my church attendance. Happily, neither was the college interested in whether I was a practicing Catholic. This was my start at being disobedient. I quit the church as it just didn't feel relevant to me. First question I had to myself: what's with the men being revered (Popes, altar boys, priests who drove Cadillacs, etc.) and the women shunned (especially nuns and mothers) as second class citizens? I'm still looking for answers to that one.

In college I was an insecure student. I was so sure that the college had made a big mistake in admitting me. Because of  that belief I was incredibly diligent in my studies.  Fear and anxiety ruled me at that point in my life.  I was the timid student who closeted myself away in the basement of the library to study. I was so sure I'd do poorly on my exams. Untrue! I was delighted to find out after mid-terms that I was actually a very good student. This eased my mind. Temporarily.

One of the reasons I was a competent psychotherapist was because I worked hard to deescalate my own anxiety. This enabled me to help others to cope with the ups and downs of their lives. Losing a daughter who was stillborn helped me to work with grieving clients. I could then discern who was suffering from grief and the ones who were severally depressed with prolonged grieving and needed medication with the help of a psychiatrist.

The rules for my profession when I started out as a psychotherapist were very sexist. The revered therapists were 90% males with the occasional females professional thrown in. I sought these women out and that help me enormously in my work. It's my observation that years later the 'mostly male' therapists changed when the money for therapists became considerably less than if you went to work for a corporation. Men fled the field in droves. I believe this is true for many other fields. Another observation, when we moved to our small town, the University sponsored Marine Biological Laboratory was mostly staffed by men and the students were mostly male. Then I believe, the pay remained stagnant. Guess what, the labs are now predominantly female with the rare male student. One of the reasons we don't have lots of men in, for example, teaching has to do with the insufficient pay. Often the males teachers make more money. Ironically I just read a fact lending credence to that statement. The female faculty at the very liberal University of  Colorado will receive back pay of $4.5 million in a settlement. Females being paid less and treated as less valuable than their male colleagues is sadly not a surprise. The female faculty gathered together, they were disobedient and filed a gender equality lawsuit and won. Good for them! You can only imagine the disparity in pay for women in most universities and many other businesses.  

My conclusion is obedience only makes sense if it's a very important rule like 'rules of the road.' These rules are life saving and reasonable. It's important not to speed and to stop for traffic lights for yourself and others. Another rule, now that I think about it, is it makes sense to be obedient to newborns to help them thrive. Crying is sometimes the only way a baby has to get attention. This is true for sometimes for the mother as well. 

that garment is too young for her

Flaunting the rules can be a hobby and fun. Honestly are there such things as sensible fashion rules? As a young teen reading fashion magazines I thought there were. It's fun to be disobedient and to be against what we are told we must wear, how we must look and act. Eccentricity is reasonable more times than not. Being eccentric is actually fun. If you're overwhelmed by rules, like all the people in ultra religious churches, ugh. Rebel.

susansmagicfeather 2024 Susan R. Grout

Small Town Therapist on the Word from Historians

 

Celebrate for the joy it brings

After this last election many people are in a conundrum. Why is there so much divisiveness in the country? Why did our former president when in office from 2016 to 2020 with his Republican party tear down people, ignore science, insult minorities and women, threaten to disrupt the voting process get elected again? Weren't they supposedly want to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN in 2016 and didn't. And now we have the same slogans and bigotry and greed staring us in the face again in 2025? 

I believe I have the answer that's been true since the Obama administration: they want to make America white again; make America anti women and anti minorities again; and make billionaires, trillionaires; and make America stupid again. 'Science, we don't need no stinkin' science!' Yet, ask someone why  they're voted four more years of this disastrous administration and they, to a person say, "I prefer their [GOP's] policies". What policies? 

Truth: these policies are anti choice, pro billionaires, and white power. Now look no further than Trump's choices for his Cabinet, not one competent or qualified person has been nominated. He's still an embarrassment and a disgrace. The world is baffled that we have chosen this felon, misogynist, right wing incompetent man again. So am I--- embarrassed and angry.

The latest proof of incompetence is the GOP Senators who are in lock step going along with all the terrible choices for his cabinet, like Secretary for the Defense Department. Have these people never read resume before? Pete Hegseth, yes was in the military but that doesn't qualify to run the military. It's widely known by his colleagues that he has a drinking problem. His qualification apparently is that he's a Trump enthusiast and a TV star on Fox News (listed as an entertainment program). There is no qualification. 

Here's some more sad history from Trump's four year term. Our dear competent Ruth Bader Ginsberg was the epitome of an excellent Supreme court judge, principled, courageous, fair, and who fought for equal justice for all. When she was dead one hour, the GOP administration announced that they were going to push ahead with a nomination, immediately. High minded reasons were given for not allowing President Obama's choice for the Supreme Court said McConnell,  "It's too close to the election (it was nine months away) and the new President should have the right to choose the SCJ."  The Republican party approved a Supreme Court nominee ONE Month before the election. The rage that some of us felt, this betrayal, was yet another slap in the face to integrity was overwhelming. 

Amy Coney Barrett, was and probably still is part of the group of Catholic women who believe that the "men are the heads of the household and make all the decisions." We were stuck with the pick and also Brett Kavanaugh. So it was goodbye to Roe vs Wade. So many of us worked long and hard to pass that bill for women's rights. Now it's possibly farewell to the ACA, 'Obama care', and forget about your concerns about the environment, the laws protecting us will be sabotaged. 

As we know, we are now getting a refresher course on when abortion was illegal. Women died in desperation and that is the situation today. The women, and sometimes young girls, in states where abortion is outlawed have no choice to safely terminate an unwanted pregnancy. 

I had a legal medical abortion many years ago. A baby I was carrying died inter utero at four months. Had it been just five years earlier, in 1972, I would have been required to carry that baby to 'spontaneous abortion' which could have cost me my life. This is to say nothing of the sadness and horror of carrying a dead, very wanted baby. Where is our protection for equal rights under the law? That's the 14th Amendment in our Constitution.

Let's reverse roles. Wonder if women were cruel and had the power of the laws behind them and wouldn't allow a man to have a choice of what to do with his reproductive rights. The husband comes to her and says, "I've been diagnosed with testicular tumors, probably cancerous, can I please have an operation to free myself from worry and pain?" The woman coolly appraises him and says, "NO, that might interfere with my right to have more babies. Let nature take it's course!" That's the position all women were in until 1973 when they won the right to have a say over their own bodies. The right to privacy with their physician was a hard fought battle. Now in many states it's still a very hard fought battle. Don't give up!

Another truth: a woman can get pregnant once a year. Ironically a man can impregnate many thousands of women, if he chooses to in one year. Why is the pregnancy burden always on the woman? That's some pretty fancy footwork: blame the woman. As we all have seen, people piously and obnoxiously stand outside the abortion clinics waving signs and begging women to not abort. Ah, but where are these pious people when that child is born? I can state emphatically--- they're not there to help that woman/girl. 

The reasons for abortion are many. It might be that she was raped or she was ill prepared to raise a child, or that she couldn't afford the child, or she was in ill health, or she was very young and/or it was a case of incest.  This is only a small list but it does provide very good reasons to have an abortion. The pious and obnoxious people are actually only pro birth, not willing to aid or give any help to that woman or girl after that child is born. Couldn't we agree to shift the blame. WHO got that woman pregnant?  Why isn't the emphasis on the men? 

On that topic of men, especially young men, I had some experience with disseminating information about birth control. Many years ago I'd was asked to talk to teens about the dangers involved with drugs and alcohol. Fortunately for me, this was well before the kinds of very dangerous drugs that are in many high schools these days. Inevitably the subject of girls drinking to drunkenness would come up. Some cocky boy would smirk and I would lead the discussion about the the responsibility of boys having or attempting having sex with an impaired girl. What about responsibility of possible impregnation as the consequences of having unprotected sex, or forced sex, rape?  I let them know that the lowest incidents of teen pregnancies in the world at that time were in Japan. Also, at that time, the only form of birth control in Japan was the condom.  A hush fell in the room.  All those years ago, no one to my knowledge was willing to speak to the obvious: it's clearly not just the woman who can do birth control, Japan proved that.

Love can triumph but we have to protect it

We all want loving relationships, don't we? We all want our children loved, fed and taken care of. Don't we also want truth, justice and the American way?  What has become of the American way? For parts of this country the belief is children are too delicate to learn about the Holocaust, the Trail of Tears, the slavery of African people etc. Why is our history and also the history of the world being withheld? We need a fresh course on creating empathy in our country and it starts in childhood. That used to be the American way. Now there are those who are attempting to justify racism, ignore the unfair advantages given to people of wealth and allowing women, minorities and people of color to be discriminated against. This has got to stop.

fight for your rights

How I wish we had voted the rascals out. With the Democrats and at least we had hope, kindness and competence. My fear is that we will fall so far. Never doubt we can rise again. This country can become, again, the admired country. Right now we are a grieving country and our new (old) leaders have failed us, already, miserably. The historians voted the Trump Presidency as worst administration and they voted him the worst president we ever had.  Unbelievably he has been re elected. 

Don't just sit there join a group to fight all the egregiousness that is to come.

susansmagicfeather 2024  Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

Small Town Therapist on Unexpected Consequences.

 

That's Mark Twain behind us

I met up with an old friend, Anne, and we had a chance to catch up on our lives. Before I contacted her to buy some fish, I thought to myself: who knows how long our friendships with old friends will survive? Who knows how long we will survive? 

Anne and I chatted about days of yore, politics, and then of course about fish.  Anne lived in our community thirty plus years ago. At the time she was back and forth to Alaska. Hers was not an easy life. Anne became one of the few women who fished, a "fisher" in Alaska. For Anne fishing was often grueling work, she didn't love it, but did it to provide for her family. It was an unexpected job and certainly nothing she was "supposed to do" all those many years ago. But needs must and Anne did it with aplomb. I loved the salmon and still, to this day, revel in purchasing the excellent salmon she sells. 

When Anne picked me up I thought we were suppose to retrieve the 25 lbs. of frozen salmon she was selling to me right away. Not so. Anne is single and doesn't get out much,  so she wanted an adventure. I insisted she make the choice of where we'd go for our outing.  Anne chose an excellent spot: Village Books. The bookstore has three stories of  books. The bookstore also commands a lovely coffee shop on the top floor with a marvelous view of the harbor. Off we went to that wonderful, soul pleasing bookstore. Heavenly.

My husband was delayed and he decided he'd pick up the salmon, thank goodness, instead of us going miles back to get it. Now we had time to kill and seriously, what could be better than admiring, then choosing, books in a delightful bookstore. After a while, we made our selections and my husband was due to arrive, so we stepped outside to enjoy the lush, sunny fall day. That's when I realized I no longer had my sunglasses. I had patted all my pockets and came up dry. I went back inside and searched diligently each floor, retracing my steps. I even contacted the lost and found to no avail.  Sigh. My husband arrived and we soon thanked Anne for the lovely afternoon and the very fine fish and then left for the ferry to our home. 

Rodeo queen for Halloween

I've been examining that thought of unexpected consequences all week. It started by losing two pairs of sunglasses. I would like to tell you this was unusual for me but sadly it's not. Pair number one: months prior, I was waltzing down the streets of Seattle on a beautiful spring day and when I realized I was without my sunglasses. This was my favorite pair and I knew I had them with me moments before. I retraced my route--- to no such luck. Pair number two was in Village Books.

At home, several days later, I was walking down a trail near our house. Again a sparkling and sunny fall day.  Lately, I've taken to examining, photographing and identifying the hundreds of mushrooms that conveniently popped up all down the trail. This is a very pleasant, new found hobby for me. I continued on the walk on the country road, feeling ebullient. After a while as I was walking down the road, I decided to head back home. That's when I realized my sunglasses were not with me. Oh no, not again. Pair number three. So I slowly, with great intention, I scouted for the missing sunglasses, poking through the grass and the sticks and leaves near the examined mushrooms. NO joy. I came home and confessed my idiocy to my husband who kindly only smirked. 

The next day I thought, 'this is just stupid' and I went out along my previous route and this time said a little prayer that I learned when I was a young girl: "little Tony look around, what's been lost must be found." (St. Anthony, the saint of lost objects. Stop laughing.) Bent over peering intently at the ground, close to the mushrooms, this time with a stick, I felt like this is the right place! I stepped back to take an overall look and CRACK! You guessed it. I stepped on the valued, searched for sunglasses. What did I do next? I yelled--- then laughed hard. Indeed the prayer ditty worked! It's just that it did not have the desired effect. Instead, I was left with an unexpected consequence. Yes sunglasses, wearable no. Into the trash they went.

Remember  when we were little more that toddlers and you had mittens with long strings attached to the mittens? (We called them idiot mittens. Sad but true.) Well I swear that is exactly what I need. I intend to have have idiot strings on any pair of sunglasses that I own from now on.

First, deep breath, I have to purchase new sunglasses. Wish me luck.

susansmagicfeather 2024 Susan R. Grout