SMALL TOWN THERAPIST MY PICTURES OF 2024

Christmas at the Z and A Grouts

wearing a Christmas present

Another year is winding down, about to take its last breath. I like to  remember the highlights and share them with you.  Included is a bit of Christmas, the glory of Sally's party with lots of fun and family from all over the country,  and my favorite---Groutfest.

Thanksgiving missing Vail and Jonathan

Sally's party

 

relatives traveled from afar

 

all the siblings wrote a performed a song 

 for Sally's birthday

Vail, Jonathan and Amelia

Trisha

Bobby

Sally and her daughters

I love to do these end of the year in pictures and, though it seems frivolous, many people like looking at this yearly post.

Cousins

Chin and Ella

groutfest

Groutfest

A highlight!  Groutfest

cousins at Jackles

Josh and Amelia

Groutfest

I am at my absolute happiest surrounded by my family, eating, talking, hiking and joking together. Ah, summer.

Guitar camp is always a surprise, there is always so much to learn and experience,  it's not just about guitar. I'm always working on writing then performing my song and improving my skills. Another plus about the camp, there are so many interesting wonderful people.

guitar camp has a dance

cabin mates and a good friend

my birthday at the beach

Halloween

A few of the low lights, two of my relatives had emergency appendectomies. Yikes. Then D and I had so many doctor appointments for various age related problems. Ah well stay healthy people.

a busy 4th marching in the parade for the Democrats

Graduation  at Gonzaga

Getting ready for Lauren's graduation from Gonzaga.   

Zach and James

Lauren and Anne

                          

Zach's birthday with family

last January we had quite the storm

Let's all hope for some surprising loving kindness coming from every part of this country. I can hope anyway.

As for our new reality? Let's all stay on our toes and strive for what is good and right for all. Speak up!

Always always celebrate

susansmagicfeather 2024 Susan R. Grout

Small Town Therapist on Obedience and Dissing

 

In my life I've gone from strict obedience (as a child) to flaunting the rules (as a grown woman). This seems amusing to write yet this has had a big impact in my life. It's an interesting process to go from strictly adhering to other's rules to going with my gut and ignoring the possible displeasure, laughter or anger of people by flaunting some of the rules. 

Many of these 'being obedient' rules were dished out by the Catholic church in which I was raised. As a child I was very devoted and pious. Sadly that devotion was all based on fear.  An example is when I diligently prayed to god as a six year old, urgently requesting that my sister (who was suffering from an allergic reaction to grapes) would recover. The doctor came to our house which was an incredibly big deal! I remember being frightened and in tears. I was so scared and worried that I took my small savings and walked to the shops and bought her a ceramic angel. Happily she did recover rather quickly and that started me on the road believing that it was necessary for me to be in earnest prayer for any untoward eventuality. 

Then at 17 I went away to college. It was a Catholic institution, which pleased my parents, assuming I would stay with the teachings of the church. I later found out my father didn't particularly care. He was not religious and was uninterested in my church attendance. Happily, neither was the college interested in whether I was a practicing Catholic. This was my start at being disobedient. I quit the church as it just didn't feel relevant to me. First question I had to myself: what's with the men being revered (Popes, altar boys, priests who drove Cadillacs, etc.) and the women shunned (especially nuns and mothers) as second class citizens? I'm still looking for answers to that one.

In college I was an insecure student. I was so sure that the college had made a big mistake in admitting me. Because of  that belief I was incredibly diligent in my studies.  Fear and anxiety ruled me at that point in my life.  I was the timid student who closeted myself away in the basement of the library to study. I was so sure I'd do poorly on my exams. Untrue! I was delighted to find out after mid-terms that I was actually a very good student. This eased my mind. Temporarily.

One of the reasons I was a competent psychotherapist was because I worked hard to deescalate my own anxiety. This enabled me to help others to cope with the ups and downs of their lives. Losing a daughter who was stillborn helped me to work with grieving clients. I could then discern who was suffering from grief and the ones who were severally depressed with prolonged grieving and needed medication with the help of a psychiatrist.

The rules for my profession when I started out as a psychotherapist were very sexist. The revered therapists were 90% males with the occasional females professional thrown in. I sought these women out and that help me enormously in my work. It's my observation that years later the 'mostly male' therapists changed when the money for therapists became considerably less than if you went to work for a corporation. Men fled the field in droves. I believe this is true for many other fields. Another observation, when we moved to our small town, the University sponsored Marine Biological Laboratory was mostly staffed by men and the students were mostly male. Then I believe, the pay remained stagnant. Guess what, the labs are now predominantly female with the rare male student. One of the reasons we don't have lots of men in, for example, teaching has to do with the insufficient pay. Often the males teachers make more money. Ironically I just read a fact lending credence to that statement. The female faculty at the very liberal University of  Colorado will receive back pay of $4.5 million in a settlement. Females being paid less and treated as less valuable than their male colleagues is sadly not a surprise. The female faculty gathered together, they were disobedient and filed a gender equality lawsuit and won. Good for them! You can only imagine the disparity in pay for women in most universities and many other businesses.  

My conclusion is obedience only makes sense if it's a very important rule like 'rules of the road.' These rules are life saving and reasonable. It's important not to speed and to stop for traffic lights for yourself and others. Another rule, now that I think about it, is it makes sense to be obedient to newborns to help them thrive. Crying is sometimes the only way a baby has to get attention. This is true for sometimes for the mother as well. 

that garment is too young for her

Flaunting the rules can be a hobby and fun. Honestly are there such things as sensible fashion rules? As a young teen reading fashion magazines I thought there were. It's fun to be disobedient and to be against what we are told we must wear, how we must look and act. Eccentricity is reasonable more times than not. Being eccentric is actually fun. If you're overwhelmed by rules, like all the people in ultra religious churches, ugh. Rebel.

susansmagicfeather 2024 Susan R. Grout

Small Town Therapist on the Word from Historians

 

Celebrate for the joy it brings

After this last election many people are in a conundrum. Why is there so much divisiveness in the country? Why did our former president when in office from 2016 to 2020 with his Republican party tear down people, ignore science, insult minorities and women, threaten to disrupt the voting process get elected again? Weren't they supposedly want to MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN in 2016 and didn't. And now we have the same slogans and bigotry and greed staring us in the face again in 2025? 

I believe I have the answer that's been true since the Obama administration: they want to make America white again; make America anti women and anti minorities again; and make billionaires, trillionaires; and make America stupid again. 'Science, we don't need no stinkin' science!' Yet, ask someone why  they're voted four more years of this disastrous administration and they, to a person say, "I prefer their [GOP's] policies". What policies? 

Truth: these policies are anti choice, pro billionaires, and white power. Now look no further than Trump's choices for his Cabinet, not one competent or qualified person has been nominated. He's still an embarrassment and a disgrace. The world is baffled that we have chosen this felon, misogynist, right wing incompetent man again. So am I--- embarrassed and angry.

The latest proof of incompetence is the GOP Senators who are in lock step going along with all the terrible choices for his cabinet, like Secretary for the Defense Department. Have these people never read resume before? Pete Hegseth, yes was in the military but that doesn't qualify to run the military. It's widely known by his colleagues that he has a drinking problem. His qualification apparently is that he's a Trump enthusiast and a TV star on Fox News (listed as an entertainment program). There is no qualification. 

Here's some more sad history from Trump's four year term. Our dear competent Ruth Bader Ginsberg was the epitome of an excellent Supreme court judge, principled, courageous, fair, and who fought for equal justice for all. When she was dead one hour, the GOP administration announced that they were going to push ahead with a nomination, immediately. High minded reasons were given for not allowing President Obama's choice for the Supreme Court said McConnell,  "It's too close to the election (it was nine months away) and the new President should have the right to choose the SCJ."  The Republican party approved a Supreme Court nominee ONE Month before the election. The rage that some of us felt, this betrayal, was yet another slap in the face to integrity was overwhelming. 

Amy Coney Barrett, was and probably still is part of the group of Catholic women who believe that the "men are the heads of the household and make all the decisions." We were stuck with the pick and also Brett Kavanaugh. So it was goodbye to Roe vs Wade. So many of us worked long and hard to pass that bill for women's rights. Now it's possibly farewell to the ACA, 'Obama care', and forget about your concerns about the environment, the laws protecting us will be sabotaged. 

As we know, we are now getting a refresher course on when abortion was illegal. Women died in desperation and that is the situation today. The women, and sometimes young girls, in states where abortion is outlawed have no choice to safely terminate an unwanted pregnancy. 

I had a legal medical abortion many years ago. A baby I was carrying died inter utero at four months. Had it been just five years earlier, in 1972, I would have been required to carry that baby to 'spontaneous abortion' which could have cost me my life. This is to say nothing of the sadness and horror of carrying a dead, very wanted baby. Where is our protection for equal rights under the law? That's the 14th Amendment in our Constitution.

Let's reverse roles. Wonder if women were cruel and had the power of the laws behind them and wouldn't allow a man to have a choice of what to do with his reproductive rights. The husband comes to her and says, "I've been diagnosed with testicular tumors, probably cancerous, can I please have an operation to free myself from worry and pain?" The woman coolly appraises him and says, "NO, that might interfere with my right to have more babies. Let nature take it's course!" That's the position all women were in until 1973 when they won the right to have a say over their own bodies. The right to privacy with their physician was a hard fought battle. Now in many states it's still a very hard fought battle. Don't give up!

Another truth: a woman can get pregnant once a year. Ironically a man can impregnate many thousands of women, if he chooses to in one year. Why is the pregnancy burden always on the woman? That's some pretty fancy footwork: blame the woman. As we all have seen, people piously and obnoxiously stand outside the abortion clinics waving signs and begging women to not abort. Ah, but where are these pious people when that child is born? I can state emphatically--- they're not there to help that woman/girl. 

The reasons for abortion are many. It might be that she was raped or she was ill prepared to raise a child, or that she couldn't afford the child, or she was in ill health, or she was very young and/or it was a case of incest.  This is only a small list but it does provide very good reasons to have an abortion. The pious and obnoxious people are actually only pro birth, not willing to aid or give any help to that woman or girl after that child is born. Couldn't we agree to shift the blame. WHO got that woman pregnant?  Why isn't the emphasis on the men? 

On that topic of men, especially young men, I had some experience with disseminating information about birth control. Many years ago I'd was asked to talk to teens about the dangers involved with drugs and alcohol. Fortunately for me, this was well before the kinds of very dangerous drugs that are in many high schools these days. Inevitably the subject of girls drinking to drunkenness would come up. Some cocky boy would smirk and I would lead the discussion about the the responsibility of boys having or attempting having sex with an impaired girl. What about responsibility of possible impregnation as the consequences of having unprotected sex, or forced sex, rape?  I let them know that the lowest incidents of teen pregnancies in the world at that time were in Japan. Also, at that time, the only form of birth control in Japan was the condom.  A hush fell in the room.  All those years ago, no one to my knowledge was willing to speak to the obvious: it's clearly not just the woman who can do birth control, Japan proved that.

Love can triumph but we have to protect it

We all want loving relationships, don't we? We all want our children loved, fed and taken care of. Don't we also want truth, justice and the American way?  What has become of the American way? For parts of this country the belief is children are too delicate to learn about the Holocaust, the Trail of Tears, the slavery of African people etc. Why is our history and also the history of the world being withheld? We need a fresh course on creating empathy in our country and it starts in childhood. That used to be the American way. Now there are those who are attempting to justify racism, ignore the unfair advantages given to people of wealth and allowing women, minorities and people of color to be discriminated against. This has got to stop.

fight for your rights

How I wish we had voted the rascals out. With the Democrats and at least we had hope, kindness and competence. My fear is that we will fall so far. Never doubt we can rise again. This country can become, again, the admired country. Right now we are a grieving country and our new (old) leaders have failed us, already, miserably. The historians voted the Trump Presidency as worst administration and they voted him the worst president we ever had.  Unbelievably he has been re elected. 

Don't just sit there join a group to fight all the egregiousness that is to come.

susansmagicfeather 2024  Susan R. Grout all rights reserved

Small Town Therapist on Unexpected Consequences.

 

That's Mark Twain behind us

I met up with an old friend, Anne, and we had a chance to catch up on our lives. Before I contacted her to buy some fish, I thought to myself: who knows how long our friendships with old friends will survive? Who knows how long we will survive? 

Anne and I chatted about days of yore, politics, and then of course about fish.  Anne lived in our community thirty plus years ago. At the time she was back and forth to Alaska. Hers was not an easy life. Anne became one of the few women who fished, a "fisher" in Alaska. For Anne fishing was often grueling work, she didn't love it, but did it to provide for her family. It was an unexpected job and certainly nothing she was "supposed to do" all those many years ago. But needs must and Anne did it with aplomb. I loved the salmon and still, to this day, revel in purchasing the excellent salmon she sells. 

When Anne picked me up I thought we were suppose to retrieve the 25 lbs. of frozen salmon she was selling to me right away. Not so. Anne is single and doesn't get out much,  so she wanted an adventure. I insisted she make the choice of where we'd go for our outing.  Anne chose an excellent spot: Village Books. The bookstore has three stories of  books. The bookstore also commands a lovely coffee shop on the top floor with a marvelous view of the harbor. Off we went to that wonderful, soul pleasing bookstore. Heavenly.

My husband was delayed and he decided he'd pick up the salmon, thank goodness, instead of us going miles back to get it. Now we had time to kill and seriously, what could be better than admiring, then choosing, books in a delightful bookstore. After a while, we made our selections and my husband was due to arrive, so we stepped outside to enjoy the lush, sunny fall day. That's when I realized I no longer had my sunglasses. I had patted all my pockets and came up dry. I went back inside and searched diligently each floor, retracing my steps. I even contacted the lost and found to no avail.  Sigh. My husband arrived and we soon thanked Anne for the lovely afternoon and the very fine fish and then left for the ferry to our home. 

Rodeo queen for Halloween

I've been examining that thought of unexpected consequences all week. It started by losing two pairs of sunglasses. I would like to tell you this was unusual for me but sadly it's not. Pair number one: months prior, I was waltzing down the streets of Seattle on a beautiful spring day and when I realized I was without my sunglasses. This was my favorite pair and I knew I had them with me moments before. I retraced my route--- to no such luck. Pair number two was in Village Books.

At home, several days later, I was walking down a trail near our house. Again a sparkling and sunny fall day.  Lately, I've taken to examining, photographing and identifying the hundreds of mushrooms that conveniently popped up all down the trail. This is a very pleasant, new found hobby for me. I continued on the walk on the country road, feeling ebullient. After a while as I was walking down the road, I decided to head back home. That's when I realized my sunglasses were not with me. Oh no, not again. Pair number three. So I slowly, with great intention, I scouted for the missing sunglasses, poking through the grass and the sticks and leaves near the examined mushrooms. NO joy. I came home and confessed my idiocy to my husband who kindly only smirked. 

The next day I thought, 'this is just stupid' and I went out along my previous route and this time said a little prayer that I learned when I was a young girl: "little Tony look around, what's been lost must be found." (St. Anthony, the saint of lost objects. Stop laughing.) Bent over peering intently at the ground, close to the mushrooms, this time with a stick, I felt like this is the right place! I stepped back to take an overall look and CRACK! You guessed it. I stepped on the valued, searched for sunglasses. What did I do next? I yelled--- then laughed hard. Indeed the prayer ditty worked! It's just that it did not have the desired effect. Instead, I was left with an unexpected consequence. Yes sunglasses, wearable no. Into the trash they went.

Remember  when we were little more that toddlers and you had mittens with long strings attached to the mittens? (We called them idiot mittens. Sad but true.) Well I swear that is exactly what I need. I intend to have have idiot strings on any pair of sunglasses that I own from now on.

First, deep breath, I have to purchase new sunglasses. Wish me luck.

susansmagicfeather 2024 Susan R. Grout 

Small Town Therapist on Anxiety and Amusement

 

Halloween 

Instant gratification takes too long.   Lily Tomlin

Two of my tragic flaws are: 1.always being in a hurry and 2. having a bit of anxiety. Lately I'm on constant overload thinking that there's a risk that all of us could be losing our democracy---anxiety x10. I do know the drill, and I should be taking more time to breathe and reflect. This doesn't come easily to me. I pay a heavy price for obsessing over the damn polls- which I've been warned to stop viewing. 

Until a drag queen walks into a school and beats eight kids to death with To Kill a Mockingbird I think we're focusing on the wrong shit.    Wanda Sikes

Since July I've been rejuvenated, thrilled really, about the new found hope with the Kamala Harris /Tim Walz campaign for the democrats. Now the democrats are focusing on what's important. Women's rights, dignity and equality for all people, tax breaks for the poor and middle class, and kindness and hope are making a comeback! This is the Democrats gift to the country. I've been so sick of the negativity, doom and gloom insisted upon by the Republicans. They're eating the dogs and cats in their spare time.

 I'm an unabashed liberal minded Democrat. Yet, I'm curious as to what conclusions people who aren't so liberal minded are thinking about our current state of politics. One night in the summer I was talking to our plumber, who is also a friend, and decided to ask him what he was thinking about the new political scene. We were sitting on our deck having a drink when the subject of politics came up and we talked for awhile about the disaster, especially for women, the Trump administration ushered in. Now the newish approach of the Trump camp is the Doom and Gloom tour across the country. In their rallies Trump and his VP pick, JD Vance, are touting in one disparaging comment after another, about the lousy state of our country. I ventured to ask my friend, what he thought about Kamala Harris and her policies. His only comment was "she laughs too much." He had no problem with her policies, but she laughs too much. To him she seemed "not presidential enough." Let's see: she's not a felon, she's and ex prosecutor, she's all for women's rights to privacy with their bodies, she's joyful and she picked Mr. Lovable: Tim Walz. He's just not sure he'll vote for her because she laughs too much? I thought this was sad but also amusing. I didn't challenge him but I did chuckle.

There are so many things most days that make me laugh. As far as I'm concerned, a day without laughter is a wasted day. Even when one is anxious, sad or grieving, it's important, and sometimes life saving, to at least try to be amused each day by something in your life.

spider balanced on his head

Here's small example, the picture (look closely) is of a spider balanced on his head. Granted it's not that funny it's just a little amusing actually. But still, I'm always on the lookout for something amusing. Try it, it's a dandy way to have more fun in your life. I always gave that "be aware and amused" as an assignment to every client I saw. Then I requested them to "report  the amusement back to me." 

I had one client tell me that she "really had no sense of humor." However at our next session she came in smiling saying, "I found myself laughing as I was gardening. There were these enormous bumble bees attempting to get pollen from the teensy flowers in the rosemary bush. They'd fall backwards to the ground because of their weight but they'd get up and do it again."  Indeed she did have a sense of humor. 

one of the sweet couples at the party 

The absolute best amusement and delight I've had recently was volunteering for our community's "Book or Treat" Halloween party for the little kids. I went as a cowgirl and there were so many darling little ones in their costumes gathering books, while I served cider. Big smiles everywhere you looked and definitely delighted parents enjoying the afternoon. I came home and told my husband about the funny and dear children's costumes. We all came to revel in the party. Miles of amusement!

Keep a goal to be amused every day. Look for the smile, the chuckle or the blessing of a good old fashioned belly laugh.

Thanks for reading!

be sure to vote for hope

susansmagicfeather 2024 Susan R. Grout

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON FAIR TAXATION

 

Fair Taxation 

WISHES 

 I've hoped the that this country would come to it's senses and restructure the tax system. Instead of allowing tax cuts for billionaires, as the Trump administration put into place, we'd  agree to tax them generously.  Then their enormous profits could pay for services, help communities in need, and give aid to the less fortunate.  Also, I've read there’s over 110 billion dollars [a gross underestimate] hidden in offshore accounts. 110 billion dollars. Think what that money could do.

Listen to good ideas

This country has a serious infrastructure problem that worsened after the Trump administration's four years of neglect. Bridges failing, roads crumbling, and some buildings are well beyond their sell date. Also, stunningly, many people are hungry, and our schools need help. All this seems impossible to fix. It's not! Here are the important new tasks cheerfully assigned to the billionaires who pay a very depressing near $0% of their income and gross profits. The new tax, if enacted, could go to our country's wellbeing.

Welcome to the awards for helping our country.

1. Mr. “Fly Me to the Moon” Bezos: I assign the task of creating an effective recycling program for our country. Lord knows, Amazon has contributed, to the un-recyclable debris left in our garbage and landfills which ends up clogging our oceans. As any good mother knows, "clean up after yourself, Jeff." Don't worry Mr. Bezos, you will still have massive amounts of money from this endeavor to fly high.

2. Mr. Elon Musk: you are being given the honor of repairing the roads in this country. You supposedly care about cars and here is your chance to prove it. You could also beef up the safety of the people riding in those cars. I hear some of yours are being recalled... 

3. Mark Zuckerberg: your Facebook fame has brought you wealth, yet you take no responsibility for the people you have harmed along the way. I assign you the job of making sure every that child in the U.S. has an excellent education. This will include courses on how to detect hustling and falsehoods. Onward for fairness in education, truth, and justice Mr. Zuckerberg.

4. To all the Waltons including Alice, Jim, and Rob Walton. Since the inception of Walmart, you have underpaid your workers--- even insisting they get on welfare and food stamps! Look at all the money you saved for yourselves. I propose that you pay back wages in triplicate to the employees. Then pay back the monies to the U.S. government. This will enrich social security for the nation. No impoverished person left behind. Also because you encouraged food stamps, you will do the job of feeding everyone in need. There shouldn't be any hunger in America.  It’s time to grasp the full concept of sharing. Sadly, many people don't have jobs or they have insufficient incomes due to stingy bosses. Many of those jobs were eliminated and transferred to other parts of the world. This was for expressed purpose of the CEO's profits at the expense of the workers. So feed the hungry, it will cost you a fraction of your wealth.

5. The Koch Family: Remember your wealth started with your father--- inherited wealth. You’ve influenced ultraconservative politicians with your wealth starting with the Tea Party and then contribute hugely to Trump and other right wing campaigns. The expressed purpose was to secure those horrible tax cuts for billionaires like yourselves and to destroy a woman's right to choose. Your assignment is to devote the rest of your lives for good change such as cleaning up the environment. We can agree on clean air, water, and healthy people for the USA, that is a conservative value, isn't it?                                                                           Part of our Family, Tax Paying Citizens

The billionaires pay no taxes and try to convince all of us that they are good citizens. My opinion is they need to prove they are good citizens. So far they've been insensitive and deaf to the plight of ordinary, tax paying citizens. 

On a final note, you'll see that I didn't mention the Gates or Warren Buffett. Although I'm sure they don't pay their fair share of taxes, Bill and Melinda and Warren have tried, with their wealth, to save humanity. They do contribute richly to the health and welfare of the world. Thanks Melinda and Bill and Warren. Oh and a big shout out to Taylor Swift!

We are all going to die dear billionaires. Wouldn't you like your legacy to err on the side of goodness and generosity with your vast wealth? "You Can't Take It with You!" Money can't buy you love! But your wealth can purchase good will and admiration. Be a good neighbor and a good citizen of the U.S.A. I believe that creates a good legacy. 

susansmagicfeather 2024 

 

Small Town Therapist on Frustration

my hope

" Did you hear the one about the self help group for compulsive talkers? It's called On and On Anon."   Anon

"When there's nothing more to be said, he'll still say it." Anon

There is an enormous frustration for most rational people in this country. Against our efforts to block out the hideous drone from our ex-president, he is droning on and on. It's all over the news and I for one am crying "mercy"! He is not news if he is repetitive about being hunted for crimes he committed and then supposedly persecuted. 

Excuse me isn't he the one who conned, abused, and cheated throughout his entire adulthood? Isn't he the one who is responsible for more than six bankruptcies and stiffing all the people to whom he owed money.  Enough already can't we convict him and put us all out this misery. Let's skip ahead and turn the old tired page.

Currently, important life saving legislations are stalled in Congress to a ridiculous degree. In essence we are being held hostage to ineffectual politicians. Are there profiles on the good legislatures who actually want action and bills approved on worthy subjects?  For example, where is the is reasonable legislation on guns even when the ex president has been shot at. (We, the U.S., have more carnage than any other first world nation.) The carnage, by the way, includes little children, loved ones and family members. Isn't this too a 'right to life' issue? Please do personalize this. Instead, and insanely, there is "open carry" of guns allowed in several states and gosh, what do you suppose that leads to?  Thoughts and prayers! For years and years there's never been a reasonable action to stop the violence. Truly this is a national disgrace. Our ex-president in the last year appeared before the NRA insisting that if he is elected the gun laws would be weakened, not strengthened. Think people.

The only "punishment" that I can deem appropriate for our ridiculously slow House and Senate is slow driving fines. Like penalizing slow drivers on the freeway, why not give the legislature a deadline (horrible pun). If they don't reach a solution such as eliminating the open carry laws and requiring background checks, there will be a hefty monetary penalty. See, if I were queen...

Instead a portion of our county listens to a man who's becoming more and more unhinged, who's morals are questionable at best, who has conned his way to financial gain and regularly urges his poor deluded followers to give, give, money to that man.

To those of us who voted against him in 2016, we  suffered and witnessed the extraordinary near demise of democracy and lie after lie after lie from him and his administration. Now he's selling shoes, hawking trading cards, Bibles! and basically bilking the vulnerable with his pity party. The pity is his disgraceful narcissism. It's also unbelievable and a crying shame that people choose to believe him as being a misunderstood martyr. This has all the markings of a cult. BTW, the Russian government is thrilled.

I wish the press would stop being so delicate and would please report verbatim the nonsense the ex president spouts for what it is. He's obviously failing mentally (even though he continually gives himself compliments) and the ridiculousness must be reported.  Only heavily edited of his mutterings are reported. If you have the stomach for it, or tune into the talk show hosts, you'll hear about the constant, repetitive nonsense from this disgraced ex president. It's really funny but not so much if there wasn't a very serious danger of him being re elected. He's so longwinded and boring people are leaving his poorly attended rallies early.  His latest claim to fame is he was voted the "worst president we have ever had" by historians. Dead last. Loser.

Months ago in a "news conference" where he was supposed to share his reaction to the death of Alexei Navalny, in his usual fashion, he declared that he was a victim of the court system. This was spouted as though that was pertinent to the death of a truly great, brave man fighting for democracy in Russia.  The ex president's speech was not worthy of any further discussion. He is neither note worthy or admirable.

First they took our rights.          Margaret Atwood's Handmaid's Tale.

the sun is setting on the loser

I'm very confident that Kamala Harris/Tim Walz will win the popular vote, it's the stupid electoral college that could doom us all. Send pleas to anyone you know who could influence any of their family and friends in the pivotal red states. Remember the open line of the Handmaid's Tale. Vote and get active!

susansmagicfeather 2024

Small Town Therapist on Aging Well

You're only young once but you can be immature forever.            Germaine Greer

There are no old people any more, you are either wonderful for your age or dead.    Mary Poole 

It's no secret that I've aged, I live in a small town and everyone I used to consider old is now dead. Years ago at a New Year's eve party a bunch of us in our 30's and 40's were lamenting that some of the 'old timers' [who I just realized were only in their mid sixties or early seventies] were starting to die off. These people in my town were salt of the earth, kind, good people and real amusing characters. 

One of my favorite characters, Marge, was from a family that lived in our town for generations. Then, due to her age, her sons and daughter moved her into a nursing home nearer to them, sadly, quite a ways away. This older woman Marge was glorious. She used to set out a chaise longue in front our local drug store, where she worked part time, adorned with her ruby red lipstick, her seasonal clothes and earrings ["it must be Christmas time if Marge has on her bells and holly."] Marge routinely would greet everyone in town. She could play at parties a vigorous honky-tonk piano and held her nose when she laughed. Marge reminded me so much of my Grandma Florence who was fun, fun, fun. Both these gorgeous women were portly and seemingly unconcerned about the extra padding they'd acquired over the years. That just wasn't in their radar. 

Sadly most women I know are overly focused on their bodies, size, shape and limitations. Take me for example. This morning I woke up convinced I'd gained several pounds since Thanksgiving and I was stewing about it. With trepidation I hopped on the scale only to see that my weight was exactly what it always is and I hopped off smirking at my silliness. Now, if I had gained these fictious pounds I honestly would have been perturbed and a bit discouraged. Foolish but true. Would Marge or Grandma Florence ever, in their wildest dreams, be so overly concerned about a few pounds? Not on their lives. And they lived good long lives.

Most of  the people in my generation are appalled that we have limitations with aging. When we get together we discuss these pesky aches and pains as if we deserve a refund. No! Let's sue! Rarely does the talk of gratitude enter into our discussion of being alive, surprised we've lived so well this long. We need conversations about our latest curiosities, of how to live fully and plans for how we're going to enrich this world. Open hearts and open minds can help towards aging well.

I'm listening to Becca Levy's book Breaking the Age Code, her research is about how negative perceptions about aging seriously affect how we age. As Levy did in her study, she had all the participants respond to this question: "Ask yourself what are the first five words that come to you about aging?" If the words you came up with are all negative words and views, oh oh. You better change your attitude, it can definitely negatively affect how you age. 

All those years ago the old timers didn't have the quality of life we have now and they definitely weren't obsessed with fitness. They were working too hard on making a living: farming, logging, running a business. They laughed heartily at joggers, ate mostly unprocessed food and tended to walk everywhere. They expected to age and to have fun along the way, at least most of them did.

I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that happened to someone else.  George Carlin

At least wrinkles don't hurt.  Terry Hiroto 

Imagine my surprise when I realized that the physical limitations in my case were not going to vanish without surgery. I have arthritis and it is certainly a limitation but thankfully it's not fatal. Because of it I had my first hip replaced ten years ago and that was a dandy decision. Recently I had to have my other hip replaced with hardware because that hip was cranky, keeping me from hiking and causing me abundant pain. It's been a blessed relief to be out of pain. However, the mirror is starting to bug and insult me, I say to myself, "at least wrinkles don't hurt." But, where is that portrait of Doriana Gray now that I could use it? As my sainted mother said, "out of these eyes is a 35 year old woman." Now, sincerely,  I'm joking because as a grandmother of four young adults how ridiculous would it be for me to obsess about lovely youthfulness when I'm surrounded by lovely youthfulness.

My pledge is to let go of, relax about that mirror that portrays me as a "citizen senior" as grandma Florence used to call herself.  A New Year's resolution is to embrace all my future holds for the time I've got left with gratitude. I'm hoping to grow in wisdom, generosity and kindness with my sense of humor firmly intact.

susansmagicfeather 2024 Susan R. Grout