Small Town Therapist on Unexpected Consequences.

 

That's Mark Twain behind us

I met up with an old friend, Anne, and we had a chance to catch up on our lives. Before I contacted her to buy some fish, I thought to myself: who knows how long our friendships with old friends will survive? Who knows how long we will survive? 

Anne and I chatted about days of yore, politics, and then of course about fish.  Anne lived in our community thirty plus years ago. At the time she was back and forth to Alaska. Hers was not an easy life. Anne became one of the few women who fished, a "fisher" in Alaska. For Anne fishing was often grueling work, she didn't love it, but did it to provide for her family. It was an unexpected job and certainly nothing she was "supposed to do" all those many years ago. But needs must and Anne did it with aplomb. I loved the salmon and still, to this day, revel in purchasing the excellent salmon she sells. 

When Anne picked me up I thought we were suppose to retrieve the 25 lbs. of frozen salmon she was selling to me right away. Not so. Anne is single and doesn't get out much,  so she wanted an adventure. I insisted she make the choice of where we'd go for our outing.  Anne chose an excellent spot: Village Books. The bookstore has three stories of  books. The bookstore also commands a lovely coffee shop on the top floor with a marvelous view of the harbor. Off we went to that wonderful, soul pleasing bookstore. Heavenly.

My husband was delayed and he decided he'd pick up the salmon, thank goodness, instead of us going miles back to get it. Now we had time to kill and seriously, what could be better than admiring, then choosing, books in a delightful bookstore. After a while, we made our selections and my husband was due to arrive, so we stepped outside to enjoy the lush, sunny fall day. That's when I realized I no longer had my sunglasses. I had patted all my pockets and came up dry. I went back inside and searched diligently each floor, retracing my steps. I even contacted the lost and found to no avail.  Sigh. My husband arrived and we soon thanked Anne for the lovely afternoon and the very fine fish and then left for the ferry to our home. 

Rodeo queen for Halloween

I've been examining that thought of unexpected consequences all week. It started by losing two pairs of sunglasses. I would like to tell you this was unusual for me but sadly it's not. Pair number one: months prior, I was waltzing down the streets of Seattle on a beautiful spring day and when I realized I was without my sunglasses. This was my favorite pair and I knew I had them with me moments before. I retraced my route--- to no such luck. Pair number two was in Village Books.

At home, several days later, I was walking down a trail near our house. Again a sparkling and sunny fall day.  Lately, I've taken to examining, photographing and identifying the hundreds of mushrooms that conveniently popped up all down the trail. This is a very pleasant, new found hobby for me. I continued on the walk on the country road, feeling ebullient. After a while as I was walking down the road, I decided to head back home. That's when I realized my sunglasses were not with me. Oh no, not again. Pair number three. So I slowly, with great intention, I scouted for the missing sunglasses, poking through the grass and the sticks and leaves near the examined mushrooms. NO joy. I came home and confessed my idiocy to my husband who kindly only smirked. 

The next day I thought, 'this is just stupid' and I went out along my previous route and this time said a little prayer that I learned when I was a young girl: "little Tony look around, what's been lost must be found." (St. Anthony, the saint of lost objects. Stop laughing.) Bent over peering intently at the ground, close to the mushrooms, this time with a stick, I felt like this is the right place! I stepped back to take an overall look and CRACK! You guessed it. I stepped on the valued, searched for sunglasses. What did I do next? I yelled--- then laughed hard. Indeed the prayer ditty worked! It's just that it did not have the desired effect. Instead, I was left with an unexpected consequence. Yes sunglasses, wearable no. Into the trash they went.

Remember  when we were little more that toddlers and you had mittens with long strings attached to the mittens? (We called them idiot mittens. Sad but true.) Well I swear that is exactly what I need. I intend to have have idiot strings on any pair of sunglasses that I own from now on.

First, deep breath, I have to purchase new sunglasses. Wish me luck.

susansmagicfeather 2024 Susan R. Grout 

Small Town Therapist on Anxiety and Amusement

 

Halloween 

Instant gratification takes too long.   Lily Tomlin

Two of my tragic flaws are: 1.always being in a hurry and 2. having a bit of anxiety. Lately I'm on constant overload thinking that there's a risk that all of us could be losing our democracy---anxiety x10. I do know the drill, and I should be taking more time to breathe and reflect. This doesn't come easily to me. I pay a heavy price for obsessing over the damn polls- which I've been warned to stop viewing. 

Until a drag queen walks into a school and beats eight kids to death with To Kill a Mockingbird I think we're focusing on the wrong shit.    Wanda Sikes

Since July I've been rejuvenated, thrilled really, about the new found hope with the Kamala Harris /Tim Walz campaign for the democrats. Now the democrats are focusing on what's important. Women's rights, dignity and equality for all people, tax breaks for the poor and middle class, and kindness and hope are making a comeback! This is the Democrats gift to the country. I've been so sick of the negativity, doom and gloom insisted upon by the Republicans. They're eating the dogs and cats in their spare time.

 I'm an unabashed liberal minded Democrat. Yet, I'm curious as to what conclusions people who aren't so liberal minded are thinking about our current state of politics. One night in the summer I was talking to our plumber, who is also a friend, and decided to ask him what he was thinking about the new political scene. We were sitting on our deck having a drink when the subject of politics came up and we talked for awhile about the disaster, especially for women, the Trump administration ushered in. Now the newish approach of the Trump camp is the Doom and Gloom tour across the country. In their rallies Trump and his VP pick, JD Vance, are touting in one disparaging comment after another, about the lousy state of our country. I ventured to ask my friend, what he thought about Kamala Harris and her policies. His only comment was "she laughs too much." He had no problem with her policies, but she laughs too much. To him she seemed "not presidential enough." Let's see: she's not a felon, she's and ex prosecutor, she's all for women's rights to privacy with their bodies, she's joyful and she picked Mr. Lovable: Tim Walz. He's just not sure he'll vote for her because she laughs too much? I thought this was sad but also amusing. I didn't challenge him but I did chuckle.

There are so many things most days that make me laugh. As far as I'm concerned, a day without laughter is a wasted day. Even when one is anxious, sad or grieving, it's important, and sometimes life saving, to at least try to be amused each day by something in your life.

spider balanced on his head

Here's small example, the picture (look closely) is of a spider balanced on his head. Granted it's not that funny it's just a little amusing actually. But still, I'm always on the lookout for something amusing. Try it, it's a dandy way to have more fun in your life. I always gave that "be aware and amused" as an assignment to every client I saw. Then I requested them to "report  the amusement back to me." 

I had one client tell me that she "really had no sense of humor." However at our next session she came in smiling saying, "I found myself laughing as I was gardening. There were these enormous bumble bees attempting to get pollen from the teensy flowers in the rosemary bush. They'd fall backwards to the ground because of their weight but they'd get up and do it again."  Indeed she did have a sense of humor. 

one of the sweet couples at the party 

The absolute best amusement and delight I've had recently was volunteering for our community's "Book or Treat" Halloween party for the little kids. I went as a cowgirl and there were so many darling little ones in their costumes gathering books, while I served cider. Big smiles everywhere you looked and definitely delighted parents enjoying the afternoon. I came home and told my husband about the funny and dear children's costumes. We all came to revel in the party. Miles of amusement!

Keep a goal to be amused every day. Look for the smile, the chuckle or the blessing of a good old fashioned belly laugh.

Thanks for reading!

be sure to vote for hope

susansmagicfeather 2024 Susan R. Grout

SMALL TOWN THERAPIST ON FAIR TAXATION

 

Fair Taxation 

WISHES 

 I've hoped the that this country would come to it's senses and restructure the tax system. Instead of allowing tax cuts for billionaires, as the Trump administration put into place, we'd  agree to tax them generously.  Then their enormous profits could pay for services, help communities in need, and give aid to the less fortunate.  Also, I've read there’s over 110 billion dollars [a gross underestimate] hidden in offshore accounts. 110 billion dollars. Think what that money could do.

Listen to good ideas

This country has a serious infrastructure problem that worsened after the Trump administration's four years of neglect. Bridges failing, roads crumbling, and some buildings are well beyond their sell date. Also, stunningly, many people are hungry, and our schools need help. All this seems impossible to fix. It's not! Here are the important new tasks cheerfully assigned to the billionaires who pay a very depressing near $0% of their income and gross profits. The new tax, if enacted, could go to our country's wellbeing.

Welcome to the awards for helping our country.

1. Mr. “Fly Me to the Moon” Bezos: I assign the task of creating an effective recycling program for our country. Lord knows, Amazon has contributed, to the un-recyclable debris left in our garbage and landfills which ends up clogging our oceans. As any good mother knows, "clean up after yourself, Jeff." Don't worry Mr. Bezos, you will still have massive amounts of money from this endeavor to fly high.

2. Mr. Elon Musk: you are being given the honor of repairing the roads in this country. You supposedly care about cars and here is your chance to prove it. You could also beef up the safety of the people riding in those cars. I hear some of yours are being recalled... 

3. Mark Zuckerberg: your Facebook fame has brought you wealth, yet you take no responsibility for the people you have harmed along the way. I assign you the job of making sure every that child in the U.S. has an excellent education. This will include courses on how to detect hustling and falsehoods. Onward for fairness in education, truth, and justice Mr. Zuckerberg.

4. To all the Waltons including Alice, Jim, and Rob Walton. Since the inception of Walmart, you have underpaid your workers--- even insisting they get on welfare and food stamps! Look at all the money you saved for yourselves. I propose that you pay back wages in triplicate to the employees. Then pay back the monies to the U.S. government. This will enrich social security for the nation. No impoverished person left behind. Also because you encouraged food stamps, you will do the job of feeding everyone in need. There shouldn't be any hunger in America.  It’s time to grasp the full concept of sharing. Sadly, many people don't have jobs or they have insufficient incomes due to stingy bosses. Many of those jobs were eliminated and transferred to other parts of the world. This was for expressed purpose of the CEO's profits at the expense of the workers. So feed the hungry, it will cost you a fraction of your wealth.

5. The Koch Family: Remember your wealth started with your father--- inherited wealth. You’ve influenced ultraconservative politicians with your wealth starting with the Tea Party and then contribute hugely to Trump and other right wing campaigns. The expressed purpose was to secure those horrible tax cuts for billionaires like yourselves and to destroy a woman's right to choose. Your assignment is to devote the rest of your lives for good change such as cleaning up the environment. We can agree on clean air, water, and healthy people for the USA, that is a conservative value, isn't it?                                                                           Part of our Family, Tax Paying Citizens

The billionaires pay no taxes and try to convince all of us that they are good citizens. My opinion is they need to prove they are good citizens. So far they've been insensitive and deaf to the plight of ordinary, tax paying citizens. 

On a final note, you'll see that I didn't mention the Gates or Warren Buffett. Although I'm sure they don't pay their fair share of taxes, Bill and Melinda and Warren have tried, with their wealth, to save humanity. They do contribute richly to the health and welfare of the world. Thanks Melinda and Bill and Warren. Oh and a big shout out to Taylor Swift!

We are all going to die dear billionaires. Wouldn't you like your legacy to err on the side of goodness and generosity with your vast wealth? "You Can't Take It with You!" Money can't buy you love! But your wealth can purchase good will and admiration. Be a good neighbor and a good citizen of the U.S.A. I believe that creates a good legacy. 

susansmagicfeather 2024 

 

Small Town Therapist on Frustration

my hope

" Did you hear the one about the self help group for compulsive talkers? It's called On and On Anon."   Anon

"When there's nothing more to be said, he'll still say it." Anon

There is an enormous frustration for most rational people in this country. Against our efforts to block out the hideous drone from our ex-president, he is droning on and on. It's all over the news and I for one am crying "mercy"! He is not news if he is repetitive about being hunted for crimes he committed and then supposedly persecuted. 

Excuse me isn't he the one who conned, abused, and cheated throughout his entire adulthood? Isn't he the one who is responsible for more than six bankruptcies and stiffing all the people to whom he owed money.  Enough already can't we convict him and put us all out this misery. Let's skip ahead and turn the old tired page.

Currently, important life saving legislations are stalled in Congress to a ridiculous degree. In essence we are being held hostage to ineffectual politicians. Are there profiles on the good legislatures who actually want action and bills approved on worthy subjects?  For example, where is the is reasonable legislation on guns even when the ex president has been shot at. (We, the U.S., have more carnage than any other first world nation.) The carnage, by the way, includes little children, loved ones and family members. Isn't this too a 'right to life' issue? Please do personalize this. Instead, and insanely, there is "open carry" of guns allowed in several states and gosh, what do you suppose that leads to?  Thoughts and prayers! For years and years there's never been a reasonable action to stop the violence. Truly this is a national disgrace. Our ex-president in the last year appeared before the NRA insisting that if he is elected the gun laws would be weakened, not strengthened. Think people.

The only "punishment" that I can deem appropriate for our ridiculously slow House and Senate is slow driving fines. Like penalizing slow drivers on the freeway, why not give the legislature a deadline (horrible pun). If they don't reach a solution such as eliminating the open carry laws and requiring background checks, there will be a hefty monetary penalty. See, if I were queen...

Instead a portion of our county listens to a man who's becoming more and more unhinged, who's morals are questionable at best, who has conned his way to financial gain and regularly urges his poor deluded followers to give, give, money to that man.

To those of us who voted against him in 2016, we  suffered and witnessed the extraordinary near demise of democracy and lie after lie after lie from him and his administration. Now he's selling shoes, hawking trading cards, Bibles! and basically bilking the vulnerable with his pity party. The pity is his disgraceful narcissism. It's also unbelievable and a crying shame that people choose to believe him as being a misunderstood martyr. This has all the markings of a cult. BTW, the Russian government is thrilled.

I wish the press would stop being so delicate and would please report verbatim the nonsense the ex president spouts for what it is. He's obviously failing mentally (even though he continually gives himself compliments) and the ridiculousness must be reported.  Only heavily edited of his mutterings are reported. If you have the stomach for it, or tune into the talk show hosts, you'll hear about the constant, repetitive nonsense from this disgraced ex president. It's really funny but not so much if there wasn't a very serious danger of him being re elected. He's so longwinded and boring people are leaving his poorly attended rallies early.  His latest claim to fame is he was voted the "worst president we have ever had" by historians. Dead last. Loser.

Months ago in a "news conference" where he was supposed to share his reaction to the death of Alexei Navalny, in his usual fashion, he declared that he was a victim of the court system. This was spouted as though that was pertinent to the death of a truly great, brave man fighting for democracy in Russia.  The ex president's speech was not worthy of any further discussion. He is neither note worthy or admirable.

First they took our rights.          Margaret Atwood's Handmaid's Tale.

the sun is setting on the loser

I'm very confident that Kamala Harris/Tim Walz will win the popular vote, it's the stupid electoral college that could doom us all. Send pleas to anyone you know who could influence any of their family and friends in the pivotal red states. Remember the open line of the Handmaid's Tale. Vote and get active!

susansmagicfeather 2024

Small Town Therapist on Aging Well

You're only young once but you can be immature forever.            Germaine Greer

There are no old people any more, you are either wonderful for your age or dead.    Mary Poole 

It's no secret that I've aged, I live in a small town and everyone I used to consider old is now dead. Years ago at a New Year's eve party a bunch of us in our 30's and 40's were lamenting that some of the 'old timers' [who I just realized were only in their mid sixties or early seventies] were starting to die off. These people in my town were salt of the earth, kind, good people and real amusing characters. 

One of my favorite characters, Marge, was from a family that lived in our town for generations. Then, due to her age, her sons and daughter moved her into a nursing home nearer to them, sadly, quite a ways away. This older woman Marge was glorious. She used to set out a chaise longue in front our local drug store, where she worked part time, adorned with her ruby red lipstick, her seasonal clothes and earrings ["it must be Christmas time if Marge has on her bells and holly."] Marge routinely would greet everyone in town. She could play at parties a vigorous honky-tonk piano and held her nose when she laughed. Marge reminded me so much of my Grandma Florence who was fun, fun, fun. Both these gorgeous women were portly and seemingly unconcerned about the extra padding they'd acquired over the years. That just wasn't in their radar. 

Sadly most women I know are overly focused on their bodies, size, shape and limitations. Take me for example. This morning I woke up convinced I'd gained several pounds since Thanksgiving and I was stewing about it. With trepidation I hopped on the scale only to see that my weight was exactly what it always is and I hopped off smirking at my silliness. Now, if I had gained these fictious pounds I honestly would have been perturbed and a bit discouraged. Foolish but true. Would Marge or Grandma Florence ever, in their wildest dreams, be so overly concerned about a few pounds? Not on their lives. And they lived good long lives.

Most of  the people in my generation are appalled that we have limitations with aging. When we get together we discuss these pesky aches and pains as if we deserve a refund. No! Let's sue! Rarely does the talk of gratitude enter into our discussion of being alive, surprised we've lived so well this long. We need conversations about our latest curiosities, of how to live fully and plans for how we're going to enrich this world. Open hearts and open minds can help towards aging well.

I'm listening to Becca Levy's book Breaking the Age Code, her research is about how negative perceptions about aging seriously affect how we age. As Levy did in her study, she had all the participants respond to this question: "Ask yourself what are the first five words that come to you about aging?" If the words you came up with are all negative words and views, oh oh. You better change your attitude, it can definitely negatively affect how you age. 

All those years ago the old timers didn't have the quality of life we have now and they definitely weren't obsessed with fitness. They were working too hard on making a living: farming, logging, running a business. They laughed heartily at joggers, ate mostly unprocessed food and tended to walk everywhere. They expected to age and to have fun along the way, at least most of them did.

I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that happened to someone else.  George Carlin

At least wrinkles don't hurt.  Terry Hiroto 

Imagine my surprise when I realized that the physical limitations in my case were not going to vanish without surgery. I have arthritis and it is certainly a limitation but thankfully it's not fatal. Because of it I had my first hip replaced ten years ago and that was a dandy decision. Recently I had to have my other hip replaced with hardware because that hip was cranky, keeping me from hiking and causing me abundant pain. It's been a blessed relief to be out of pain. However, the mirror is starting to bug and insult me, I say to myself, "at least wrinkles don't hurt." But, where is that portrait of Doriana Gray now that I could use it? As my sainted mother said, "out of these eyes is a 35 year old woman." Now, sincerely,  I'm joking because as a grandmother of four young adults how ridiculous would it be for me to obsess about lovely youthfulness when I'm surrounded by lovely youthfulness.

My pledge is to let go of, relax about that mirror that portrays me as a "citizen senior" as grandma Florence used to call herself.  A New Year's resolution is to embrace all my future holds for the time I've got left with gratitude. I'm hoping to grow in wisdom, generosity and kindness with my sense of humor firmly intact.

susansmagicfeather 2024 Susan R. Grout

Last Year in Photos

2023  started with a walk

A round up of pictures from 2023.
 Last year had some interesting twist, as this year is rolling along on a different track. Lots of traveling last year as opposed to this year, not so much--- unless you include doctor's appointments.

Wishing everyone a happy healthy 2024 and one that's not late like I am with this post!

We  traveled to Maui in February

glorious Maui before the fires

came home to this contrast

happy graduation to James in June

visit with Josh 

Lulu's graduation with Silas and Josh 

James in full regalia for grads

the happy parents of James

off to Chicago and visiting our fav at the Art Institute

celebration of Trish and Pete's marriage 

we do enjoy each other

music at the port with nephew Jason's  family 

guitar camp in  
August

Always a welcome surprise

my fondest hope

Niece and grand niece 

Trisha and Pete

Grands  at Gonzaga 

  

trip home from visit with the grands

gorgeous moonlight

family gathering

Zach and family at game

we do enjoy our dinners

merry Christmas

Happy New Year at camp, Sally, me and Chin

Small Town Therapist on a Wealth of Sisters

Mom, me and Sally's daughter Naomi's wedding

Only the heart knows how to find what is precious.             Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I am the lucky recipient of four sisters. In so many ways my sisters have enriched my life.  In addition to liking and loving each other we also, handed down from our parents, all sing and play music together. What could be better? Well, sharing food. And we do, oh, those meals!

Is this a family reunion or a beauty contest?             a fellow therapist's remark to me.

This was a remark by a friend, when I expressed a bit of anxiety, many years ago about an upcoming family reunion and how I looked. Cracks me up now because it was when I was in my early forties and looking pretty good, but the slight insecurities cropped up and I verbalized them to a therapist friend. This was not the norm for me but is, sadly in many families, lots of insecurities then fostered by unkindness.  In some families what remains in the sisters memories and traditions is a series of competitions among themselves and sometimes for attention from the parents. This is has been less true for me. I, frankly, was kind of an oblivious child and things sailed swiftly over my head. Awash in my own thoughts, it did not occur to me to see my siblings as competition. I am saddened when I hear people complain about their siblings. They suffer with either difficult sisters or ones that they have literally nothing in common except mutual antagonism. In truth what they are really suffering from is the sense that they can only be great, lovable, respected if they declare themselves "better than".

My sisters are all kind and loving and are incredibly important to me and have shaped my world. As a matter of fact, my first memories are not of my parents or grandparents but of my first artistic endeavor involving my older sister Sally. We were only five and three years old, happy to be in our new big bedroom. Our mother had hired painters to paint the upstairs bedrooms in our new house. My sister Sally, in a fit of inspiration, got our crayons and together we drew "ghosts" all over our newly painted bedroom walls. [See how I cleverly blame Sally]...Our mother was less than enchanted. Despite the fallout, I still fondly remember the sheer delight and expansiveness that I felt drawing on those walls. A million years later when we were recalling that blessed event our mother said, "I foolishly had the men come back and repaint the walls, and now that I look back on it I regret that I did that. Who cares? it was funny and cute." This is also the sister who, when at age two I dropped scissors out the window of our second floor apartment window. Sally, age four, picked me up and held me out the window by my ankles to see where the scissors had fallen. According to the story told by my mother, the woman in the apartment across the way from us, saw this daring feat and was so upset she had to stay home from work that day. Sally didn't drop me.

Sally's never dropped me and she and her whole family have remained very dear to me in my life. Sally and her family moved to the Northwest in 1969 and we found that the holidays were especially wonderful when our families combined. The holiday we most treasured was Thanksgiving. For more than thirty years either Milici's would make the two ferry, seven hour car trip to our house or we would do the same to their house. [The reality: if we'd been fabulously wealthy and could have flown the lot of us--- the trip was approximately 25 minutes by plane. We weren't wealthy.] 

The stories of these Thanksgivings are so sweet to me. We'd arrive at Sally and Dirk's house and sometimes the husbands would construct the dinner table. Another memorable time, there was an incredible snowstorm that only the young and fool hearty would tackle, [yes and yes to us], and we arrived having driven at 20 MPH around a long,long Lake Crescent where the trees were so burdened with snow they bent over into the road. Gloriously beautiful and terribly nerve wracking. Another Thanksgiving our teenage sons were bored and desperate to play chess. Once they located the chess board they couldn't find the chess pieces so they made all of the chess pieces out of cardboard. Good determination! Amazing what one can do when one is desperate.

It is well to have as many holds upon happiness as possible.               Jane Austen

Next in line of sisters is Trisha. We loved nothing better that getting up on a Saturday morning and seeing if we could dress as twins. Though she is two years younger Trisha was average sized and I was/am a shrimp so it was possible. [My mother used to look at me, sizing me up, and say, "I don't know what happened to you."] I am going to gloss over all the times I teased Trisha because when we did get along it was always adventuresome and fun. And I did eventually mature.  As we got older Trisha whose then husband used to travel to the National Guard for training in the summers would come from Chicago to the west to visit us. I was forever grateful. This enabled us to bond as mothers with our little children. She was always daring and willing. Once she traveled to the NW to see me and sister Chin and our families with all three kids under the age of six. Then her kids got sick as she was about to fly home. Trisha had the delightful experience of traveling with three kids under the age of six on the airplanes with colds and diarrhea. Adventure in the worst way.

Funny how life is. When I decided to write about how lucky I am to have these sisters,  I remembered I had to hop on my bike and ride to town for a lunch date. First stop was the post office where I had a package ready for pick up. The wrapped package was way to big for my bike so I had to open it. Lo and behold, my darling sister Trisha had sent some treasures: four journals written by our mother from the '60's to one year before her death; a Jane Austen action figure; and silver tongs for extracting sugar cubes [or holding one's nose?]. I was just able to squeeze all the contents in my pannier and rode on that  brisk sunny day to lunch with my friends. I took great delight in showing my friends the trove Trisha had sent. Out of one of the journals was library receipts. We especially got a kick out of what Mom did in her quirky way. She made notes on her library receipts about each of the books she'd read. Examples, "No!". "Good dialogue and characters". "Very odd"...etc.

Trisha and I at the Art Institute 

Now with the addition of the guitar workshop that Sally, Trisha and I go to each summer we have grown closer still and have fun in a creative environment. There is a student concert and each of us writes and performs our work. One year Trisha's song was not only praised by the teachers but also asked if she would agree to make a recording of it. These teachers were all pros or semi pros in the music industry. Quite an honor. Sally's "Time Will Tell" album and her performance of that piece was well received and sung enthusiastically by all in attendance at her student performance.

Part of the Grout, Hu, McClure tribe

It wasn't until I got married and moved to Northwest coast that I became closer to the younger sisters. Our family was divided into the older girls:  Sally, me and Trisha; then younger ones: Chin, Kathleen and Bobby. As we grew up there wasn't much interest on my part for playing games with the little ones when they were four, six and eight years younger. But as it turned out, my sister Chin moved with her two kids to our town and we began a new relationship and were in constant contact. We were mutually supportive of each other through the trials and tribulations in our late twenties and thirties. Chin produced four children two of whom live here today with their girls and it is great to be surrounded by family. Also I have the privilege of being close to my nephews and nieces who handily lived nearby. To my delight Chin has become a well regarded member of our small town especially in the affordable homes community, a musician and as an artist. She has even played the banjo and sung her original housing song in front of a Congressional committee on Affordable Homes.  Chin's a banjo aficionado and we have great fun playing together on an irregular basis.

Kathleen and me

On a sadder note, my youngest sister Kathleen died of a heart attack in April of 2019. It was so difficult to lose that funny vibrant little sister.

Although we'd only see each other sometimes as infrequently as once a year my talented, sweet little sister Kathleen was a phone call away. We'd discuss great and grave problems, trade tidbits of information on our families and share what adventures Kathleen and her family were off to next. One year she came with Sally, Trisha and I to guitar camp and she blew the roof off the joint in her student performance. Kathleen choose to play "Afro Blue" by John Coltrane and everyone was stunned by her excellent guitar and singing. I was so proud. In addition Kathleen was an artist of note. My brother in law Steve Grout, professor at a Textiles and Science institute, appraised her work and was so impressed he gave her high praise and encouragement. I still, achingly miss that dear sister.

 burying Mom

Here's an example of our joint efforts. Our mother died 2010  and her wish was that we scatter her ashes. No problem. Scatter them around Dad's grave. Ah, something of a problem, not sure if it was quite kosher at the cemetery. So we clandestinely entered the cemetery with our trowels, tiny rakes and the ashes. We dug around Dad's head stone and sneakily spread the ashes.

Above in the picture are Trisha, Sally, me and Kathleen at the scene of the crime. We never skulked through the cemetery where we placed some of Mom's ashes around Dad's tombstone we even brazenly had a small picnic. Shhh! Mom would have gotten a great kick out of us.

The photo below is of all the sibs plus niece Katie singing the Mass at Mom's memorial. The other photo is Sally, Trisha and I enroute to Guitar Camp.

I want to add, if you have a sibling that you cherish, contact them today. You never know how long they'll be around to love.

We especially love to go to Guitar camp ! together.


susansmagicfeather 2024  Susan R. Grout 

singing at Mom's Memorial